Anxiety, Social Worries and How to Feel Comfortable in a Crowd

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We had a great coaching call last week for our Single Introvert Group.   Thanks to one of our participants for sharing the notes he took from our discussion, we added some additional information and you can see it below. 

If you’d like to be a part of our next coaching group email me with your contact information and I’ll sent you an invite. click here to email Audrey directly.

The MP3 from our coaching call:
3 Steps to Connect with Ease: Even if you’re Anxious in Social Situations,  is available at the link below


Thanks to Doug for the notes that follow:

*Add an Event to A Calendar Provides Reminders & Notifications.
*Look Forward to an Upcoming Event.
*Be Aware of Body Sensations & Thoughts
*Create a Positive Image in Your Mind
*For Every One Negative Thought Think of Two Positive.

Nerves Be Calm: Breathing Technique.
Inhale for a 4 Seconds
Hold Your Breath for 7 Seconds
Release for 8 Seconds
Repeat 1 – 5 minutes.

Questions: Is Someone Aware of Body Or Thoughts
Answer: A Person is Aware of Both even Unconsciously

The Future has not happened Yet

The 3 different types of Tools needed to change reactions.
1. Cognitive
2. Physical
3. Emotional

Step 1: Identify the Thoughts (Cognitive),

Step: 2:  Notice where you hold tension, pain or emotion in the body (physical)

Step 3: Release the Emotions that are triggering the thoughts, and the bodily Symptoms dissappear.

Communication Ideas for Introverts:
A Common Concern is: What Do I Say?
a. Non-verbal techniques
b. Verbal techniques

Breaking The Ice, to get a conversation started.

Communication has three parts:
1. Beginning with light chatter,
2. Moving on to Middle conversation starters
3. Creating Deeper  connections. 

A Common Concern is: What Do I Say?
Start with simple beginning tools:
Example: Look for Someone Alone to Approach and use the following questions.
a. This is my first time here at (Location and/or Group)
b. Ask Basic Question which relates to where you are: Do you know this band?
c. Talk about Location: Have You Been Here Before?
d. Talk about the Group: Have You Been with This Group Before?
e. People Provide Clues you can use to Keep A Conversation Going

How to Continue a Conversation
Communication is like tossing a baseball.  You start with throwing the first question.  The other (catches the ball) and answers and then tosses back the ball with the next question.  Make sure to keep the ball going by answering and then opening up the next question.

This Builds & Holds Rapport
Be A Good Listener: Listen Carefully to what the other is saying, it will give you clues of what to talk about next. 

Once you have a conversation started you can invite the person you are talking with to move with you to talk to another person at the event.  It is easier to move through the Crowd with the Person You Just Met & Feel Comfortable with. 

Tool: The Eye Movement Triangle:
If you have trouble looking at some in the eyes, use this tool.
You can either:
1.  Look between the other’s eyes at the Bridge of Their Nose.

2. Or keep you eyes moving in a triangle. Move your eyes from The Left side of the face (near the ear) over to the right side of the face. Then move look down to the chin. 

Repeat back to the starting point on the left side of the other’s face.

If comfortable it give a warm feeling when you make direct eye contact for a few moments at a time.

You do not have to continue speaking with anyone. Just say I’ll catch you later I want to chat with a friend etc.  Talking with Someone You Do Not Wish to creates tension. Learn different ways to gently get away and move on to someone else. 

Idea: saying: This was Enjoyable but I Promised SomeoneThat I Would Meet with Them here, talk to you later.

Marci says: Solid vs. Limited Connections:
Promise Yourself to Make at Least 3 Solid Connections for: Work, Socialization or Romance & Keep Your Word to Yourself.

Audrey says one technique that helps really shy people is to create a goal for the event. 
Start with a really small goal.
Goal: I’ll just set the goal to say hi to 3 people.  This way no matter how the event turns out you can be proud for completing the goal and saying a quick hi to 3 people.

One of her clients actually came back from an event after using this technique and surprised himself when he realized he had not only say hi to three people, he had actually talked to almost everyone at the event.   

For Marci talks about making connections of Quality Over Quantity. 

Energy Exchange: Someone Gives Off Good Energy.

Relaxed vs. Anxious Body Postures
Body Language: Is A Person Opened or Closed?
Is Someone’s Arms Crossed or Not? This doesn’t mean they are closed, perhaps they are also nervous, or cold or don’t know what to do with their hands.

Have A Goal or Goals
Attaining A Goal is A Win
Winning Provides Motivation for Leaving Home the next time.

Anxiety & Fear: Comes From Reactions and Triggers From Older, Negative, Bad Memories. Old Programs, trigger the mind at an unconscious Level.

Anxiety is Not Your Fault! It is due to negative programs that are running in the background of the mind.

Understand & Know How The Mind Works.
Trigger Emotions.

Pay Attention to & Notice How Your Body Feels

Secret # 1: Different Emotions Effect Different Parts of The Body.

Secret # 2: Past vs. Future Events
Be Aware of Your Thoughts about The Past. Past events can often be related to Bad Memories.

What If thoughts are typically future related – and usually create anxiety. 

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Nerves Be Calm Breathing Technique

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I’m so happy to share another technique that I learned at a retreat I attended.   

I recommend that you start with the Video Guide for Calming the Mind and then add the next technique to your tool box of stress relief skills.


  • Sit up straight or do this standing up. Just make sure that your lungs are not constricted in any way
  • Place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth and keep it there throughout the exercise
  • Breath out all of the air in your lungs through your mouth
  • Inhale through your nose – 4 counts
  • Hold your breath – 7 counts
  • Exhale slowly through your mouth – 8 counts
  • The rhythm of one round of breathing is this:
  • Inhale 1-2-3-4
  • Hold 1-2-3-4-5-6-7
  • Exhale 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8
  • Immediately repeat 2 more times (3 rounds total)

Do not do this more than 2-3 times per day at first.  After a few days of practice, you might want to try 4 rounds, with 10 rounds being the maximum per sitting.

If you can, drink lots of water afterward.

Some people feel the calming effects right away.  Others have the opposite effect at first and then the system calms down after repeated use of this technique.

When to Use:

* Before sleep to relax
*Upon waking to bring oxygen into your body
Before doing anything you may have anxiety over
After an event or thought that induces anxiety

Click here for a consultation

Find out about The Magic Toolbox that has helped successful, creative professionals to get free from anxiety, worry and procrastination so they can feel calm, focused and motivated when taking on new challenges.

Audrey Sussman PhD works with successful business owners who get stressed, procrastinate or feel overwhelmed with all there is to do in growing a business.   She helps them to transform the inner-critic that causes anxiety and worry into a positive, life enhancing guidance system.

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Consultation: Get relief from anxiety worry, self-doubt.

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Complimentary Consultation
with Audrey Sussman PhD

Find out about The Magic Toolbox of skills that has helped successful, creative professionals to get free from anxiety, worry, procrastination, overwhelm, self-doubt and pain. It is possible to change your life.

What you can expect in your free 30 minute consultation.

1. Get your questions answered on how to break free from the issues you are dealing with. 

2. Develop a sense of clarity about what drives anxiety, worry, and overwhelm.

3. Discover the 3 essential elements you can use to free up energy and confidence.

4. Identify the #1 thing stopping you from getting freedom from worry, fear or pain.

5. Complete the consultation knowing exactly what to do 
next to get free of anxiety, pain, worry and panic.     

Call  917-399-2102 or email for a consultation. 

When you email Audrey please include
Best contact information
and a bit about what you’d like to get from the consultation
and what you are struggling with.

Audrey has created the formula for results. 
Gain the keys to calm a racing mind and for breaking free of
the stress and anxiety that smothers natural ability. 



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7 step formula for changing negative mantras 2

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Continuation for yesterdays post: Creating the state of mind your desire.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on the specific question you send.  To contact Audrey with your questions click here.

Sign in at the box at the top right of this page to get your first mind calming exercise.

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

As I was writing this article I realized that it is important for me to share some more information on the power of using your own mind. So, before I finish with the 7 step formula for life changing mantras, I will give you what I feel are 3 Vital Secrets your need to begin to think about when creating the state of mind you desire.

Secret 1: Thoughts have vibrations, positive thoughts will attract the other positive ones. Negative thoughts will attract more negative ones.

Secret 2: What you persistently hold in your mind will become the reality as it becomes part of the workings of your unconscious mind.

Secret 3: You can tap into the unlimited potential held in the unconscious part of the mind to achieve what you desire.

Quite simply, mantras are the things we tell ourselves. For example, on the golf course if you felt annoyed because of a badly played hole, it wouldn’t be a problem if you were able to start fresh on the next hole.  But, when one negative thought leads to the next it can destroy your focus for the rest of the game.  And when it follows you after you leave the course you have a negative mantra that is playing havoc with your state of mind.  There are 7 steps you can put into play to stop this disabling habit of negative mantras.

When people think of mantras they usually think about those used in eastern religions for positive spiritual change.  And although you might not have such a fancy name for it, the chances are that you probably use positive mantras yourself, everyday.    A mantra could be what you say to yourself to get psyched up for a big meeting,  a golf tournament or going out to a social event.  Or what you tell yourself in order to stay positive when life is getting you down. When mantras are positive and constructive, they can help us enjoy our lives and achieve our goals.  But the negative things we tell ourselves can also act as mantras, leading us in an undesired direction.

Negatives mantras “playing in the back of your mind” can cause. . .   more to come tomorrow.

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Getting Relief from Worry

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The Secret To Getting Relief From Worry

You have a special gift inside of your own mind, just waiting to be opened.  It is one you can learn to use to stay in control of your state of mind, no matter what is going on around you.

This secret is what Viktor Frankl used that allowed him to survive the holocaust and maintain his mental balance.   It is what author Napoleon Hill weaves into his famous advice on achieving financial success in Think and Grow Rich.  And it is something that you have within yourself right now, like a gift, all wrapped up, waiting for you to unwrap and put into immediate use.

Anyone can learn to use this gift.  And the really amazing thing about it is, it never gets used up, because the more you use it the more powerful it becomes.

You might be wondering what is needed for you to gain access to this gift, and this is what we’ll be discussing. As director of the Anxiety Control Center I’ve been helping people to gain access in order to get relief from anxiety, worry, panic, procrastination and fear. From my years of research and practice, I have found that there are three parts needed to totally use this gift you have within.   In this article you’ll get step-by-step directions on using the first set of powerful tools for using the gift of your own mind.

As you experience gaining access I hope it peaks your curiosity to learn more.  The tools you’ll find in this, and in my other articles and books are ones that you can use right away.  There are some self-hypnotic techniques I’ll offer to help you speed up the process.  The more tools you have in your worry relief toolbox, the more choice and control you can have.

More advanced skills are for another time, we’ll start today by setting you on the path of knowing how to offer the correct signals to your brain to trigger calm, balance and serenity –  instead of worry, fear and anxiety.

So, if you’re ready to step on the path to calm, let’s get started with the first step: learning to quiet a racing mind. We start here because as your mind settles down it becomes easier to do the next steps in the process.  If you already have view this video guide just skip this step and move to the next step of breaking the worry cycle.

The end goal is to be able to trigger a powerful, positive state of mind, at will. Along the way, we’ll discuss ways to identify the internal and external triggers that cause worry and anxiety. And then I’ll offer tools you can use to change the reaction from worry to serenity. As you take each step you’ll find yourself easily moving forward, towards the state of mind you want to achieve, with the techniques to train your own mind to interpret and react to events in life enhancing ways.

STEP ONE: Click Here To View The Calming The Mind Video Guide: All the steps needed for using the mind calming technique are contained in the 7 minute video guide. Use the Calming the Mind Video  to get your mind and body ready. Once the mind is quiet we will move to the next steps.

Breaking the worry cycle
by changing  thoughts
that trigger anxiety and worry.  

In the next technique we go behind the scenes to identify bodily signals (and thoughts that add to worry).

Sometimes you might be  aware of your body sensations and scary thoughts.  But at times you might find that you are disconnected, or that your thoughts move so quickly that you aren’t aware of them.

If you have suffered from a traumatic event, at times the memory is repressed, hidden from awareness. Although they are repressed they still have an effect on the way you react to the world.  And at times these repressed traumatic memories can be triggered by something happening in the present moment.  

To make it easier to find what is triggering feeling, start by noticing the part of body where you feel the stress, worry or anxiety.

What I have found is each emotion is held in a different area of the body, and that each person has a unique place for each emotion.   For example for one person fear might feel like a churning in the stomach, for another a tightness in the chest, and for another it might feel heavy feeling all over.  Once you identify the different areas where you feel your emotions it becomes easier to identify what the emotion is really about, instead of lumping it all as fear.

If we get quiet and ask our body for information it’s amazing the informational body gives us that we can use

Some emotions to identify are fear, sadness, excitement, embarrassment, and worry.  And you can use the body awareness to get in touch with the thoughts that are trigger your feelings.

Step Two:  After using the Calming the Mind technique notice where in your body you feel the worry or tension.  If at first you aren’t sure it may be that you have pushed down this important information. With practice you can reconnect to the information your body is giving you.  Start by just stay open and curious as you do a body scan and notice if there is some place that you feel the tension, tightness, or whatever other bodily reaction.  Once you notice where in your body you feel the emotion, ask yourself when in the past you had this same type of feeling in the body.  Or you can simply begin to wonder what the body is trying to tell you.  In this way you can begin to find the thoughts that are triggering the feelings. 

Next article: Anxiety, fear and worry get triggered in
Two primary ways

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If you have been procrastinating getting help,
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This complimentary consultation is only
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On the subject line put:  I’d like a Discovery Consultation

1) Past Events:  Remembering upsetting situations that already happened. Sometimes we are aware of these memories and worry that the feared situation might occur again. (this is typical with social phobia, we we worry what others might think, or in fear of flying after having a scary flight)

At other times we aren’t aware that the old fearful memories are being triggered, we just know we are flooded with worry and anxiety. (I had a client that was embarrassed in 4th grade when her teacher made her stand in front of the room as a punishment for talking. She didn’t realize that this was the root of her fear of talking in public, until we tracked the fear back using hypnosis.)

2) Upcoming Feared Events:  Thinking about awful things that might possibly happen in the future.  (what if phrases usually proceed these types of thoughts.  Many worries are triggered by the the scenarios we create of possible negative things that might happen in the future:  Fear of flying, test taking, driving,  are some of the 

Your Thoughts Stimulate Reactions

Whenever you concentrate on the multitude of possible scary scenarios that might come about in the future, the unconscious part of the mind acts as if they are already taking place. One of the interesting things about the unconscious mind is that it accepts your thoughts, pictures and memories as if they are real. Then the unconscious part begins to flood you with the chemicals, these further trigger feelings of worry, sadness, overwhelm, fear and insecurity. Thoughts can even create pain in the body, even when you are completely unaware of them.

The good news is that you can get relief by learning to change thought patterns that bring them about.

Whenever you find yourself stuck or indecisive, whenever you’re beating yourself up for procrastination, whenever you find yourself stuck in worry practice using the next two tools to break the cycle.

Tool one: Changing one simple word (or sentence):

I was working with a client and she told me that she was so anxious that she couldn’t even make a decision on what food to she wanted to eat. She was running a real negative conversation in her head about how she wasn’t able to make decisions. I asked her to change her words from I can’t make a decision to I choose not to make a decision, on what food I want to eat. She said that felt uncomfortable saying it that way. And I’m sure it did feel uncomfortable saying she was choosing not to make a decision. The positive about saying I choose is that it put her at cause. Since she is choosing (not to make a decision) she can also change her choices. 

Not being at cause makes you feel like something else is controlling you, and that adds to self-blame and anxiety. So as difficult as it is to say, I’m choosing (to think of negatives, to procrastinate, to worry) it puts you at a power position of choosing or not choosing, you’re back control.

Tool Two:
Step 1. Being at cause – by saying I choose . . .

Step 2. The second step after being at cause is to say to yourself:
That’s curious, that I’m choosing not to make a decision. I wonder what that’s about?

When my client used step two and focused inward with the question, it amazed us both when she got her answer: The reason she wasn’t making a decision on what to eat was that she really wasn’t hungry, she was bored. After getting that information she can now see that it wasn’t that she was stuck and not able to make decisions (about food), it was that she needed to find something else to do so she would feel productive.

Techniques to get relief from
worry, anxiety and fear

The stress-fear-worry cycle actually has three different parts.
a. Thoughts (cognitions)
b. Physical (bodily and chemical reactions)
c. Emotions (triggered by thoughts or body)

And there are tools that you can choose from according to what part of the worry cycle is being stimulated. Click here to view the diagram that shows many different tools that you can choose from.

Just as when a house is built it starts with setting the foundation. When we work with the mind we set the foundation as well. What you are learning today will give you some framework to work within. Then in the final part, we can move to change the faulty inner programs, stuffed emotions and limiting beliefs that are running, behind the scenes, triggering your thoughts, perceptions and reactions.

Moving to the next part: I’m going to ask you to take a moment to think about some important ideas about the mind-body connection, as it relates to stress relief.

We’ll start with the concept that there are actually two parts that make up the mind-body connection. There are there parts that you are aware of, we’ll call the conscious part of the mind. The conscious part of the mind includes your thoughts, logic, perceptions and interpretations about what is going on in any event.

And the other part, the one that works behind the scenes we’ll call the unconscious (or subconscious) part. You know that there is an unconscious part running because it keeps your heart beating without any work on your part.  Get keeps your body working, and it sends the signals for all the chemicals that move through your system.  It’s responsible for digestion, breathing, and healing of wounds. All taking place without any conscious effort on your part.  And the unconscious part is responsible for so much more:  it stores all your memories, happy ones as well as traumatic ones.  And it has many programs that run in the  background that keep you in a serene and balanced state or that that cause you to react in your own unique way.

It’s important to recognize this part of the mind, because it is the part we go to when we want to re-program unwanted reactions. When I teach my clients how to access the unconscious the bonus they get is being able to tap into resources, such as power, self-confidence, serenity. Imagine uncovering a treasure trove of resources within your self, ones can be used to overcome fear, shyness, and limiting beliefs. And it’s all there just waiting for you.

When you used the Calming the Mind Exercise you were actually setting the stage for gaining access to the unconscious part. This tool gives the easiest way to create a light hypnotic trance that is needed to calm the mind and to focus inward. As you experienced, getting into an inner-focused self-hypnotic state is to easy to do on your own. My other books and articles discuss more advanced techniques.

The importance of learning to get into an inner focused state of mind (trance state) is that this is where it is possible to identify and correct faulty programs that trigger fear, anxiety, worry and unwanted reactions. The unconscious part also responds to your thoughts and this is the area that we will begin to work on.

RECAP: There are primarily three different ways of breaking the worry and stress cycle. In the next step we’ll be using a tool to stop negative thoughts. As you already know negative thinking increases stress and worry. This next tool uses a light trance state (inner focus) to first identify any negative thoughts and then a tool to break the worry cycle (on the conscious level).

Because the mind can trigger worry just by thinking of scary or unsettling things this is a good place to start for gaining control of emotions.

Breaking the worry cycle
by changing the thoughts
that trigger anxiety and worry.  

The next technique will give you a way of going behind the scenes to identify the thoughts that are causing worry.  Sometimes you are aware of your scary thoughts.  And at times thoughts move so quickly through the mind, that you aren’t aware of them. What you are aware of is the reaction in the body, and the stress in the mind.

How does anxiety, fear and worry get triggered?
Two primary ways we trigger worry



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Hypnosis, is it safe? Can it stop anxiety, fear and panic?

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Questions People are asking about Hypnosis:

Question 1: I’m afraid of using hypnotic techniques but I do want to get rid of my IBS, anxiety and fear!  I don’t want to feel out of control, and I don’t want anyone to make me do something, I wouldn’t want to do.

Question 2:  I don’t think I can be hypnotized.  I find it difficult to relax, my mind keeps spinning with worry, so I’m skeptical about using hypnosis and don’t think it would work for me.

Audrey Answers:
Hypnosis can be as simple as just focusing inward.  Sort of paying attention to what is going on inside of your body.  It’s call an inward focused state.  And the best thing is that you can be totally aware of everything that is said, by the hypnotherapist, as well as have the option of what you choose to do or not.

There are different forms of hypnosis, I’ll go into that in a moment.  
Therapeutic hypnosis is very different from stage hypnosis.  Stage hypnotists are there to give a good show.  Licensed hypno-therapists use hypnotic techniques and have a different goal.  Therefore you are completely aware of what is happening, and you are part of the team with your hypnotherapist.  One of the goals of doing this type of hypnotic work is to help you to tap into your inner potential and to gain power and confidence in you own abilities.

Is hypnosis safe?

There are also different types of hypnosis.
1. Stage hypnosis uses a form of Classical hypnosis to create a trance state where the mind is more open to suggestion.  People who do these stage shows are experts at classical hypnosis and are also adept at picking people who would be willing to be on stage and are open to suggestion.

2. Therapeutic or Medical hypnosis can also use classical techniques.  But, I have found that for people with anxiety or worry a different form of hypnosis is more effective  In this form you are part of the team with your hypnotherapist.  And because you are part of the team it is possible to get healing on the deepest level, kind of like finding your own inner guidance system and making it work for your benefit.

From my years of research and study I developed a system I  call Cognitive-Behavorial-Hypnosis, it combines the older techniques of cognitive/behavioral therapy, within the hypnotic state of mind.

The type of hypnosis that I find works better than classical hypnosis is called Ericksonian Hypnosis.  And when combined with NLP (Neuro-Linguistic-Programming), for the specific issues of anxiety, panic and bowel distress it has proved to be the answer. At the Anxiety Control Center we’ve been use this amazing combination for many years,  our clients get the ultimate result they seek: Freedom from panic, anxiety, pain and bowel/gastric distress.

More about they type of hypnosis I recommend.
Since my speciality is panic, worry, anxiety, IBS and pain I developed a way of helping my clients to uncover the old, faulty programs that trigger these symptoms.  And, all done in a state of mind where they are in control and a part of the process, as they learn how to use their own mind in a new enhancing way.

Question 3:  Why use cognitive-behavioral-hypnosis for anxiety and worry?
Audrey Answers: It works! People make changes in just sessions, that would take years and years of talk therapy.
a.  When in an inward focused, hypnotic state, it is possible to draw on information and resources not possible in to “conscious” state.
b. When the mind is open and curious you get out of the stuck  or problem state.
c. Solutions to even the most difficult problems appear almost effortlessly.
d. Learn how to gain distance so you can decrease the emotional charge on unsettling events.  
e.  And it is possible to release the emotions from traumatic events. When emotions are released old reactions patterns and old beliefs that are holding you back can change easily.  It is like re-booting a computer, with new programs, and patterns available.

1. We can create a inner trance state, without the need of relaxation or giving up control.  It is a skill that can be learned and only seconds are needed to get into it.  Being awake, in control and aware yet in a inward focused (trance) state is where deep change can happen.

2. The self-hypnotic trance state can be accessed in just seconds. There is no need for long exercises to get into a relaxed state. The bonus of learning self-hypnotic techniques is that when you have relief from symptoms of anxiety and worry,  you can learn to use other hypnotic techniques for healing and to trigger instant relaxation.

3. Using hypnosis allows you to focus inward. All that is needed is slightly altered our state of consciousness.  You will be aware of all that goes on.  When seeking hypnotic work be sure the person is a licensed trained professional in addition to being a hypnotist.  That way you can be sure they are bound by  ethics of the profession and that  no one will be making anyone do anything they wouldn’t want to do.

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A Special Offer:
There is a program I’ve designed specifically
for anyone who has been suffering with IBS,
anxiety, worry, pain, discomfort from stomach or  Bowel Distress 

I’ve been helping people to break free of IBS, anxiety, fear and worry for many years, now I’m opening up my program to new clients.  If you want to get relief without medication sign up for one of the Discovery Consultations time slots I’m offering.

This complimentary consultation is only
for people who are ready to
get free from procrastination, anxiety, worry, IBS and gut distress.

It easy to do just contact me by email
Include your name, contact information
and a few sentences about what you are struggling with.
I will get back to you to schedule a session.
Please note that I only take on 2 new clients a month,
so call now, and we’ll see if it’s a good fit for us to work together.

On the subject line put:  I’d like a Discovery Consultation

To join for our next
Hypnosis for Stress Relief  – Online Coaching Workshop.
Call 917-399-2102.
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Mind-Opening Exercise – Shifting Away From Worry And Fear

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Mind-Opening technique
for shifting away from worry and fear.

I hope you will experiment with this next exercise.    It’s one you can use anytime you feel your mind racing with worry, fear, anxiety and even bodily pain. It is especially useful when you start questioning yourself as to “why” you are feeling a certain way.

“The Mind-Opening” technique is one I have been using for years to help my clients to shift from “head or conscious part of the mind”  answers to the  “ heart” or inner unconscious mind answers.

Note:  It is always wise to check with your doctor when you have physical sensations.  First we want to rule out any possible health problems.  Once you have been the doctor route and they tell you that everything is working normally, then it is time to go to the mind-body level to start the healing and release emotions.

The body and mind are interconnected, many times symptoms are the bodies way of letting you know that there is something that needs to be paid attention to. Something that needs to be looked at and worked out.  Or an emotion that needs to be released.

 Opening the link to solutions
in the unconscious part of the mind

This exercise is to help you shift your thoughts from the conscious part of the mind to the unconscious part.  The simple change in the questions we ask of ourselves will automatically shift the answers from unhelpful and limited “head” answers, to the part of the mind that actually has the answers that will be productive for you.

When to use this exercise?

Anytime you feel anxiety, fear, worry, and anytime you get a physical sensation that goes along with the anxiety fear or worry.

For example, if you notice that you are feeling anxiety and your chest is feeling tight.

Step 1:  Begin by “listening in” to the thoughts and questions that are going through the mind.
Here are some examples of conscious mind (unhelpful) thoughts and questions.

a.  Why am I feeling this way? Is there something wrong with my heart?  What if it doesn’t stop?

  1. Why is this happening to me?
  2. What’s wrong with me?
  3. Why does this always happen?
  4. Why can’t I stop this terrible feeling?
  5. When will these terrible feelings stop?

How do you know there are not helpful questions?

Step 2:  Notice the answers that come to your mind when you ask questions like the ones in Step 1.

For most people the answers you will get from the “why” and “what if”  questions will be ones that make you feel even worse.  They stimulate the “negative voice” that leads to self-blame and more stress.  Or they lead you to create images of terrible things you fear might happen which creates more worry, fear, pounding heart, tight chest or stomach issues.

Step 3: Creating a Curious State of Mind.

Before you can go to Step 4 and where you will begin to use the new set of questions, it is important to have your mind in a curious state. A state of true wonder and openness.

If the tone you are using is a blaming or fearful one, you will not be able to get to the deeper productive answers.

People with anxiety at typically curious about many things.   So use your inate sense of curiousity to truly wonder what answers your unconscious mind might deliver to you.

Get into a “curious” state of mind.  That is that state where instead of asking a questions of yourself in the angry sounding “tone” of voice, you ask yourself the questions in a curious sounding tone of voice.

Step 4:  Using a more productive set of questions.

When you feel overwhelmed, fearful, worried or anxious.
For Example, you might say:     I’m really curious about “X”  (fill in the “X” for any body symptoms, feelings or thoughts).

Example:  I’m really curious about what that tightness in my chest is about?    I’m curious what the feeling of anxiety, fear, pain, tightness etc. is trying to tell me.

Another way to ask the question is:  I wonder what “X” is about?

The format of the Question is:   I really wonder, what this feeling is about?  (all said in a light curious tone of voice).

This may seem like just a simple shift. Yet it can give you dramatically different results than using the “why” or “what if” questions.

First of all, when you shift from the “why” question,  “Why is this happening?”  To the “what” question, What is this about?  The simple change of words from “Why” to “What” shifts the answer you will get from the “head” answer to the “heart” or “inner knowing” answer.

Why do you want the “heart” answer?
Because it gives you information that comes from deep within you. From the part of you that has a positive intention.

Because it begins to open the mind and connect it to the very creative (unconscious) part of yourself.

And BECAUSE:  The heart answer will give you information that will lead to understand what is truly going on, under the “surface.”

The Problem with the “head or conscious mind” answers.

The “head” (or conscious mind) answer is typically the “voice” that blames, makes you feel bad and gives you answers filtered through old negative beliefs.

Practice the excise is a part of the process of healing and learning more about what the body is trying to tell you.  There are many other more advanced exercises to help you to get to your  inner creative and powerful core of knowing.  Yet, even at this beginning level you might be surprised at what you will find out about yourself.  

Think of reactions as the tip of an iceberg.  What shows up in the iceberg is only a very small part of what lies underneath.  We want to have the skills to go to underlying issues that are getting in the way.   Causing reactions of fear, worry and unhappiness.

So we start with a not only a change in the “tone” you use on yourself when stressed, but also a change in the question itself.  By using the questions in the Mind-Opening exercise, your mind becomes open and curious.

And what people have found is that just this tiny shift in question and tone creates an “environment” where the mind and body can begin to communicate and give you answers that help to change direction from blaming to finding helpful stress reducing answers.

If you’ve been hoping to find someone who can show you how to get relief from anxiety, stress, worry, if you want to be inspired as you learn to use you mind start the process, you can start with the free video guide for a powerful, mind calming exercise  go to

About the author: Audrey Sussman PhD began her quest to find a way to get relief from anxiety after suffering with panic for many years. Now she is a nationally recognized hypnotherapist, seminar leader and author. Years of study and practice lead to the Transformation System for the relief of panic, phobias, migraines & Irritable Bowel Syndrome

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Online Coaching Workshop October 2016

Fear - Anxiety - Worry - Panic Comments Off on Online Coaching Workshop October 2016
Exciting news!
The next Online Coaching Workshop
is open for new participants.
Please call 917-399-2102 for information.

This is a workshop that shows you how to
move from overwhelm, confusion or fear
to calm, power and motivation.

 Some of the topics covered:
1.  How to get out of the moment of fear.

2. The 5 steps to get you from feeling stuck to passion and motivation.

3. Ways to get move past blocks (writers block, speaking in public, anger and worry)

4.  Learn to automatically feel safe, serene and calm with the touch of 2 fingers.

5. NLP technique that will help you to release any unwanted emotion.

This system that moves you from stuck and overwhelmed to calm, serene and powerful is called the Transformation System.

Link to the overview of this 3-part system for stress relief.

We have been holding these powerful online workshops since 2009. In the next 4-session online coaching workshop we will be adding many brand new skills to the “toolbox” of stress relief techniques.  Learn the spinning wheel technique to stop a racing mind.

I hope you’ll decide to sign up
Call 856-751-9446 or 917-399-2102 for information.

Looking forward to having you become a part of our supportive online community,  where you can learn many of the skills I use in private hypnotherapy sessions. 

Cost:  It’s only $490 for all 4-modules.
Includes all Mp3’s and Action Plans

Plus, it’s a really fun class.
Each session will be chock full of information,
with answers to your questions,
and real life examples for
reducing anxiety, changing overwhelm,
frustration.worry and stress.

Starting October 2016 at 8:15pm

Registration is limited:
Call now with questions and to sign up for the 4 session workshop

          NY  917-399-2102         NJ  856-751-9446         

Change your life this year.

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