7 step formula for changing negative mantras 2

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Continuation for yesterdays post: Creating the state of mind your desire.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on the specific question you send.  To contact Audrey with your questions click here.

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The formula for Life Changing Mantras

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

As I was writing this article I realized that it is important for me to share some more information on the power of using your own mind. So, before I finish with the 7 step formula for life changing mantras, I will give you what I feel are 3 Vital Secrets your need to begin to think about when creating the state of mind you desire.

Secret 1: Thoughts have vibrations, positive thoughts will attract the other positive ones. Negative thoughts will attract more negative ones.

Secret 2: What you persistently hold in your mind will become the reality as it becomes part of the workings of your unconscious mind.

Secret 3: You can tap into the unlimited potential held in the unconscious part of the mind to achieve what you desire.

Quite simply, mantras are the things we tell ourselves. For example, on the golf course if you felt annoyed because of a badly played hole, it wouldn’t be a problem if you were able to start fresh on the next hole.  But, when one negative thought leads to the next it can destroy your focus for the rest of the game.  And when it follows you after you leave the course you have a negative mantra that is playing havoc with your state of mind.  There are 7 steps you can put into play to stop this disabling habit of negative mantras.

When people think of mantras they usually think about those used in eastern religions for positive spiritual change.  And although you might not have such a fancy name for it, the chances are that you probably use positive mantras yourself, everyday.    A mantra could be what you say to yourself to get psyched up for a big meeting,  a golf tournament or going out to a social event.  Or what you tell yourself in order to stay positive when life is getting you down. When mantras are positive and constructive, they can help us enjoy our lives and achieve our goals.  But the negative things we tell ourselves can also act as mantras, leading us in an undesired direction.

Negatives mantras “playing in the back of your mind” can cause. . .   more to come tomorrow.

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Getting Relief from Worry

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The Secret To Getting Relief From Worry

You have a special gift inside of your own mind, just waiting to be opened.  It is one you can learn to use to stay in control of your state of mind, no matter what is going on around you.

This secret is what Viktor Frankl used that allowed him to survive the holocaust and maintain his mental balance.   It is what author Napoleon Hill weaves into his famous advice on achieving financial success in Think and Grow Rich.  And it is something that you have within yourself right now, like a gift, all wrapped up, waiting for you to unwrap and put into immediate use.

Anyone can learn to use this gift.  And the really amazing thing about it is, it never gets used up, because the more you use it the more powerful it becomes.

You might be wondering what is needed for you to gain access to this gift, and this is what we’ll be discussing. As director of the Anxiety Control Center I’ve been helping people to gain access in order to get relief from anxiety, worry, panic, procrastination and fear. From my years of research and practice, I have found that there are three parts needed to totally use this gift you have within.   In this article you’ll get step-by-step directions on using the first set of powerful tools for using the gift of your own mind.

As you experience gaining access I hope it peaks your curiosity to learn more.  The tools you’ll find in this, and in my other articles and books are ones that you can use right away.  There are some self-hypnotic techniques I’ll offer to help you speed up the process.  The more tools you have in your worry relief toolbox, the more choice and control you can have.

More advanced skills are for another time, we’ll start today by setting you on the path of knowing how to offer the correct signals to your brain to trigger calm, balance and serenity –  instead of worry, fear and anxiety.

So, if you’re ready to step on the path to calm, let’s get started with the first step: learning to quiet a racing mind. We start here because as your mind settles down it becomes easier to do the next steps in the process.  If you already have view this video guide just skip this step and move to the next step of breaking the worry cycle.

The end goal is to be able to trigger a powerful, positive state of mind, at will. Along the way, we’ll discuss ways to identify the internal and external triggers that cause worry and anxiety. And then I’ll offer tools you can use to change the reaction from worry to serenity. As you take each step you’ll find yourself easily moving forward, towards the state of mind you want to achieve, with the techniques to train your own mind to interpret and react to events in life enhancing ways.

STEP ONE: Click Here To View The Calming The Mind Video Guide: All the steps needed for using the mind calming technique are contained in the 7 minute video guide. Use the Calming the Mind Video  to get your mind and body ready. Once the mind is quiet we will move to the next steps.

Breaking the worry cycle
by changing  thoughts
that trigger anxiety and worry.  

In the next technique we go behind the scenes to identify bodily signals (and thoughts that add to worry).

Sometimes you might be  aware of your body sensations and scary thoughts.  But at times you might find that you are disconnected, or that your thoughts move so quickly that you aren’t aware of them.

If you have suffered from a traumatic event, at times the memory is repressed, hidden from awareness. Although they are repressed they still have an effect on the way you react to the world.  And at times these repressed traumatic memories can be triggered by something happening in the present moment.  

To make it easier to find what is triggering feeling, start by noticing the part of body where you feel the stress, worry or anxiety.

What I have found is each emotion is held in a different area of the body, and that each person has a unique place for each emotion.   For example for one person fear might feel like a churning in the stomach, for another a tightness in the chest, and for another it might feel heavy feeling all over.  Once you identify the different areas where you feel your emotions it becomes easier to identify what the emotion is really about, instead of lumping it all as fear.

If we get quiet and ask our body for information it’s amazing the informational body gives us that we can use

Some emotions to identify are fear, sadness, excitement, embarrassment, and worry.  And you can use the body awareness to get in touch with the thoughts that are trigger your feelings.

Step Two:  After using the Calming the Mind technique notice where in your body you feel the worry or tension.  If at first you aren’t sure it may be that you have pushed down this important information. With practice you can reconnect to the information your body is giving you.  Start by just stay open and curious as you do a body scan and notice if there is some place that you feel the tension, tightness, or whatever other bodily reaction.  Once you notice where in your body you feel the emotion, ask yourself when in the past you had this same type of feeling in the body.  Or you can simply begin to wonder what the body is trying to tell you.  In this way you can begin to find the thoughts that are triggering the feelings. 

Next article: Anxiety, fear and worry get triggered in
Two primary ways

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1) Past Events:  Remembering upsetting situations that already happened. Sometimes we are aware of these memories and worry that the feared situation might occur again. (this is typical with social phobia, we we worry what others might think, or in fear of flying after having a scary flight)

At other times we aren’t aware that the old fearful memories are being triggered, we just know we are flooded with worry and anxiety. (I had a client that was embarrassed in 4th grade when her teacher made her stand in front of the room as a punishment for talking. She didn’t realize that this was the root of her fear of talking in public, until we tracked the fear back using hypnosis.)

2) Upcoming Feared Events:  Thinking about awful things that might possibly happen in the future.  (what if phrases usually proceed these types of thoughts.  Many worries are triggered by the the scenarios we create of possible negative things that might happen in the future:  Fear of flying, test taking, driving,  are some of the 

Your Thoughts Stimulate Reactions

Whenever you concentrate on the multitude of possible scary scenarios that might come about in the future, the unconscious part of the mind acts as if they are already taking place. One of the interesting things about the unconscious mind is that it accepts your thoughts, pictures and memories as if they are real. Then the unconscious part begins to flood you with the chemicals, these further trigger feelings of worry, sadness, overwhelm, fear and insecurity. Thoughts can even create pain in the body, even when you are completely unaware of them.

The good news is that you can get relief by learning to change thought patterns that bring them about.

Whenever you find yourself stuck or indecisive, whenever you’re beating yourself up for procrastination, whenever you find yourself stuck in worry practice using the next two tools to break the cycle.

Tool one: Changing one simple word (or sentence):

I was working with a client and she told me that she was so anxious that she couldn’t even make a decision on what food to she wanted to eat. She was running a real negative conversation in her head about how she wasn’t able to make decisions. I asked her to change her words from I can’t make a decision to I choose not to make a decision, on what food I want to eat. She said that felt uncomfortable saying it that way. And I’m sure it did feel uncomfortable saying she was choosing not to make a decision. The positive about saying I choose is that it put her at cause. Since she is choosing (not to make a decision) she can also change her choices. 

Not being at cause makes you feel like something else is controlling you, and that adds to self-blame and anxiety. So as difficult as it is to say, I’m choosing (to think of negatives, to procrastinate, to worry) it puts you at a power position of choosing or not choosing, you’re back control.

Tool Two:
Step 1. Being at cause – by saying I choose . . .

Step 2. The second step after being at cause is to say to yourself:
That’s curious, that I’m choosing not to make a decision. I wonder what that’s about?

When my client used step two and focused inward with the question, it amazed us both when she got her answer: The reason she wasn’t making a decision on what to eat was that she really wasn’t hungry, she was bored. After getting that information she can now see that it wasn’t that she was stuck and not able to make decisions (about food), it was that she needed to find something else to do so she would feel productive.

Techniques to get relief from
worry, anxiety and fear

The stress-fear-worry cycle actually has three different parts.
a. Thoughts (cognitions)
b. Physical (bodily and chemical reactions)
c. Emotions (triggered by thoughts or body)

And there are tools that you can choose from according to what part of the worry cycle is being stimulated. Click here to view the diagram that shows many different tools that you can choose from.

Just as when a house is built it starts with setting the foundation. When we work with the mind we set the foundation as well. What you are learning today will give you some framework to work within. Then in the final part, we can move to change the faulty inner programs, stuffed emotions and limiting beliefs that are running, behind the scenes, triggering your thoughts, perceptions and reactions.

Moving to the next part: I’m going to ask you to take a moment to think about some important ideas about the mind-body connection, as it relates to stress relief.

We’ll start with the concept that there are actually two parts that make up the mind-body connection. There are there parts that you are aware of, we’ll call the conscious part of the mind. The conscious part of the mind includes your thoughts, logic, perceptions and interpretations about what is going on in any event.

And the other part, the one that works behind the scenes we’ll call the unconscious (or subconscious) part. You know that there is an unconscious part running because it keeps your heart beating without any work on your part.  Get keeps your body working, and it sends the signals for all the chemicals that move through your system.  It’s responsible for digestion, breathing, and healing of wounds. All taking place without any conscious effort on your part.  And the unconscious part is responsible for so much more:  it stores all your memories, happy ones as well as traumatic ones.  And it has many programs that run in the  background that keep you in a serene and balanced state or that that cause you to react in your own unique way.

It’s important to recognize this part of the mind, because it is the part we go to when we want to re-program unwanted reactions. When I teach my clients how to access the unconscious the bonus they get is being able to tap into resources, such as power, self-confidence, serenity. Imagine uncovering a treasure trove of resources within your self, ones can be used to overcome fear, shyness, and limiting beliefs. And it’s all there just waiting for you.

When you used the Calming the Mind Exercise you were actually setting the stage for gaining access to the unconscious part. This tool gives the easiest way to create a light hypnotic trance that is needed to calm the mind and to focus inward. As you experienced, getting into an inner-focused self-hypnotic state is to easy to do on your own. My other books and articles discuss more advanced techniques.

The importance of learning to get into an inner focused state of mind (trance state) is that this is where it is possible to identify and correct faulty programs that trigger fear, anxiety, worry and unwanted reactions. The unconscious part also responds to your thoughts and this is the area that we will begin to work on.

RECAP: There are primarily three different ways of breaking the worry and stress cycle. In the next step we’ll be using a tool to stop negative thoughts. As you already know negative thinking increases stress and worry. This next tool uses a light trance state (inner focus) to first identify any negative thoughts and then a tool to break the worry cycle (on the conscious level).

Because the mind can trigger worry just by thinking of scary or unsettling things this is a good place to start for gaining control of emotions.

Breaking the worry cycle
by changing the thoughts
that trigger anxiety and worry.  

The next technique will give you a way of going behind the scenes to identify the thoughts that are causing worry.  Sometimes you are aware of your scary thoughts.  And at times thoughts move so quickly through the mind, that you aren’t aware of them. What you are aware of is the reaction in the body, and the stress in the mind.

How does anxiety, fear and worry get triggered?
Two primary ways we trigger worry



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Stop Negative Thoughts Using The Rubber Band Snap

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If your thoughts are creating havoc in your life start with the 4 easy to follow tips I wrote up for one of my clients.   I received an email a woman who just started on her 6-month success system: For Freedom from worry, anxiety, fear, IBS and gut issues.  As part of the success system I offer unlimited email access, so I was delighted to answer her first question:

Question:  How do I get rid of thoughts that creep into my mind.  They seem to come out of the blue, and at times they are about upsets from the past that still haunt me.

Audrey Answers:  We will be using many different tools as we work together in our upcoming sessions. As we uncover the triggers and release the stuffed emotions you will find that the thoughts will no longer haunt you.  Until we get to that point there are a few things you can do to start getting relief. 

1. Get a journal. You will find it useful in the next months for keeping track of thoughts, changes and questions.

2. Whenever an upsetting thought comes into your mind, just jot it down in the journal.  Write down any thoughts, no judgment, no need to figure it out, just write down any thoughts that are haunting you. Your notes will be useful in tracking the thoughts to the underlying emotions that are triggering them.

3. Know that we will be working together to change these thoughts, and to heal old traumatic memories.  We’ll find to the root causes for upset that is causing your mind to race with fearful thoughts.   

4. Rubber Band Snap Technique: This technique described below is one I used to use before I added the more advanced tools to the system for freedom from fear, worry and anxiety. You’ll find that once we have access to the deeper, unconscious level where emotions get stuck triggers can be changed, emotions released and then you won’t need to use the rubber band snap technique. But for now it will prove useful.

Stop Negative Thinking.  
Use the Rubber Band Snap.

Overview of the Rubber Band Snap Technique

1.  You’ll need a rubber band that you put on your wrist and a bottle water for you be hydrating your body during the day.

2. Whenever an unwanted thought enters your mind:
a. You just pull the rubber band and let go, so it snaps on your wrist
b. You need to feel the snap but it should not leave a red mark.

3. This snaps you back from the thoughts to the present moment.  In the present moment there is not fear – we’ll discuss this more later.

4. Next, you shout the word STOP (in your mind or out loud if you are alone.)

5. Then, imagine a big red stop sign, with white letters staying the word STOP.  See it in your mind.

6. Take a deep breath.  If you have downloaded my HAAA breath, that one works great after the rubber band snap.

7. Take a sip of water, and say that feels better, say it no matter how you feel at the moment. The unconscious part of the mind hears and starts the process of having you feel better.

For a more advanced additional technique:
8.  Replace the negative thought with a positive one. There is some skill required to create alternative positive thoughts.  We will discuss them in our upcoming sessions.


REVIEW:There is a way to use your own mind to stop the negative thoughts.  For lasting change we it is vital to get to the root of where the negative, scary thoughts are stored.   In a slightly altered state of mind it is then possible to release the old emotions and to change any negative programs that are triggering unwanted reactions.

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Mind-Opening Exercise – Shifting Away From Worry And Fear

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Mind-Opening technique
for shifting away from worry and fear.

I hope you will experiment with this next exercise.    It’s one you can use anytime you feel your mind racing with worry, fear, anxiety and even bodily pain. It is especially useful when you start questioning yourself as to “why” you are feeling a certain way.

“The Mind-Opening” technique is one I have been using for years to help my clients to shift from “head or conscious part of the mind”  answers to the  “ heart” or inner unconscious mind answers.

Note:  It is always wise to check with your doctor when you have physical sensations.  First we want to rule out any possible health problems.  Once you have been the doctor route and they tell you that everything is working normally, then it is time to go to the mind-body level to start the healing and release emotions.

The body and mind are interconnected, many times symptoms are the bodies way of letting you know that there is something that needs to be paid attention to. Something that needs to be looked at and worked out.  Or an emotion that needs to be released.

 Opening the link to solutions
in the unconscious part of the mind

This exercise is to help you shift your thoughts from the conscious part of the mind to the unconscious part.  The simple change in the questions we ask of ourselves will automatically shift the answers from unhelpful and limited “head” answers, to the part of the mind that actually has the answers that will be productive for you.

When to use this exercise?

Anytime you feel anxiety, fear, worry, and anytime you get a physical sensation that goes along with the anxiety fear or worry.

For example, if you notice that you are feeling anxiety and your chest is feeling tight.

Step 1:  Begin by “listening in” to the thoughts and questions that are going through the mind.
Here are some examples of conscious mind (unhelpful) thoughts and questions.

a.  Why am I feeling this way? Is there something wrong with my heart?  What if it doesn’t stop?

  1. Why is this happening to me?
  2. What’s wrong with me?
  3. Why does this always happen?
  4. Why can’t I stop this terrible feeling?
  5. When will these terrible feelings stop?

How do you know there are not helpful questions?

Step 2:  Notice the answers that come to your mind when you ask questions like the ones in Step 1.

For most people the answers you will get from the “why” and “what if”  questions will be ones that make you feel even worse.  They stimulate the “negative voice” that leads to self-blame and more stress.  Or they lead you to create images of terrible things you fear might happen which creates more worry, fear, pounding heart, tight chest or stomach issues.

Step 3: Creating a Curious State of Mind.

Before you can go to Step 4 and where you will begin to use the new set of questions, it is important to have your mind in a curious state. A state of true wonder and openness.

If the tone you are using is a blaming or fearful one, you will not be able to get to the deeper productive answers.

People with anxiety at typically curious about many things.   So use your inate sense of curiousity to truly wonder what answers your unconscious mind might deliver to you.

Get into a “curious” state of mind.  That is that state where instead of asking a questions of yourself in the angry sounding “tone” of voice, you ask yourself the questions in a curious sounding tone of voice.

Step 4:  Using a more productive set of questions.

When you feel overwhelmed, fearful, worried or anxious.
For Example, you might say:     I’m really curious about “X”  (fill in the “X” for any body symptoms, feelings or thoughts).

Example:  I’m really curious about what that tightness in my chest is about?    I’m curious what the feeling of anxiety, fear, pain, tightness etc. is trying to tell me.

Another way to ask the question is:  I wonder what “X” is about?

The format of the Question is:   I really wonder, what this feeling is about?  (all said in a light curious tone of voice).

This may seem like just a simple shift. Yet it can give you dramatically different results than using the “why” or “what if” questions.

First of all, when you shift from the “why” question,  “Why is this happening?”  To the “what” question, What is this about?  The simple change of words from “Why” to “What” shifts the answer you will get from the “head” answer to the “heart” or “inner knowing” answer.

Why do you want the “heart” answer?
Because it gives you information that comes from deep within you. From the part of you that has a positive intention.

Because it begins to open the mind and connect it to the very creative (unconscious) part of yourself.

And BECAUSE:  The heart answer will give you information that will lead to understand what is truly going on, under the “surface.”

The Problem with the “head or conscious mind” answers.

The “head” (or conscious mind) answer is typically the “voice” that blames, makes you feel bad and gives you answers filtered through old negative beliefs.

Practice the excise is a part of the process of healing and learning more about what the body is trying to tell you.  There are many other more advanced exercises to help you to get to your  inner creative and powerful core of knowing.  Yet, even at this beginning level you might be surprised at what you will find out about yourself.  

Think of reactions as the tip of an iceberg.  What shows up in the iceberg is only a very small part of what lies underneath.  We want to have the skills to go to underlying issues that are getting in the way.   Causing reactions of fear, worry and unhappiness.

So we start with a not only a change in the “tone” you use on yourself when stressed, but also a change in the question itself.  By using the questions in the Mind-Opening exercise, your mind becomes open and curious.

And what people have found is that just this tiny shift in question and tone creates an “environment” where the mind and body can begin to communicate and give you answers that help to change direction from blaming to finding helpful stress reducing answers.

If you’ve been hoping to find someone who can show you how to get relief from anxiety, stress, worry, if you want to be inspired as you learn to use you mind start the process, you can start with the free video guide for a powerful, mind calming exercise  go to www.anxietycontrolcenter.com/stress-breath

About the author: Audrey Sussman PhD began her quest to find a way to get relief from anxiety after suffering with panic for many years. Now she is a nationally recognized hypnotherapist, seminar leader and author. Years of study and practice lead to the Transformation System for the relief of panic, phobias, migraines & Irritable Bowel Syndrome

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Relief from overwhelm, hopelessness and fear: Step 1

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Blueprint for hope and optimism

Today we’ll be looking at 2 questions about feeling hopeless, fearful and overwhelmed.  After a step-by-step plan for my clients, I decided to put some of my answers into the next few posts.  People don’t need to suffer with churning, harmful thoughts, I hope you enjoy these posts and if you have question just contact me on the tab on the side of this page.

Question 1:  This week I’m feeling anxiety again.  After our sessions I usually  leave feeling like a new person. Like there is a ray of light.  But this week I’m feeling like I will never get better.  It feels like there isn’t any hope for true relief.  I feel like I’m backsliding into anxiety and fear.    I followed up on 2 of my action steps and started to be fearful about moving ahead with my plans.  What is wrong with me?

Question 2: I’m feeling disconnected, whenever I start to feel good, I start monitoring my body for signs of anxiety.  I can be really happy and at ease, then I start to check to see if I am really feeling that way, within moments the good feelings disappear.  That’s when I get disconnected.  Even though I find I’m calmer physically my thoughts still get overwhelming.

Is there an effective strategy for breaking the cycle of monitoring my thoughts, that you can give me until we meet again?

The following answers will be a combination answer to both Questions: Today I’ll start with step 1, and in the upcoming days the next steps will be given.

Answer:  Dear Rennith (fictional name).
I am happy to see that you did give yourself a bit of credit for the relief you did feel recently.  That is a glimpse of the positive changes you are capable of.    It is my desire teach you the tools you need so that you once again will feel optimistic and hopeful.

Steps for hope and optimism:

Step 1:  Start jotting things down that would have to happen to make you feel hopeful.   Not just the major changes, but also the smallest “things” that would “have to”  change for you to feel even the tiniest bit of hope.  (This way you’ll start to notice the smallest changes in the positive direction and be able to remind yourself that there is movement in the right direction.

We’ve talked about the times recently, where you felt a “reprieve” from overwhelm and anxiety.  Think back to those times you felt the changes starting to happen, where you felt different and better.

Fear, negative thinking and checking your feelings are all old patterns. It’s interesting that the upset resurfaced when you were feeling happy. I imagine that the  “little voice “in the back of your mind started giving you negative messages, such as telling you that  nothing was changing.

When that pattern happens the old panic cycle gets going as you think about all the reasons that you are afraid, stuck or that nothing will change.

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Stuffed Emotions Cause Pain, Self-Doubt and Procrastination

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You Can Stop Worry, Pain and Fear
Use the Mind-Body Connection

The link for the Free 7-minute video
for Calming the Mind is at the bottom of this page.

Have you wondered if stress is the cause of your bodily symptoms?  What I have found is that the body and mind are connected.  What happens in one part will affect the other parts.  

For example: When you stuff down a feeling of anger, worry or fear – it doesn’t just disappear.  It gets stored in the body. Over time, as the emotions continue to be pushed down they accumulate. Each of us has a different part of the body where we stuff emotional upset. That is why some people have stomach or bowel issues, whereas others will feel pain in the back, head or chest.

It is the accumulation of stuffed emotions that trigger bodily symptoms and reactions.   If you have ever found yourself blowing up after a small upset, or felt a gut wrenching feeling after someone hurts your feelings, this is a sign of an accumulation of stuffed emotions that volcano out of control.  This overreaction isn’t your fault, the reason a small incident triggers a severe or unwanted reaction is that it isn’t just one situation you are responding to.  It is the whole chain of emotions that get triggered.  Sometimes these stuffed emotions have been collected all the way back in childhood. 

You’ve probably heard the saying, “that was the last straw”.  After saying this a person will go on to tell you of how that small thing triggered a major blowup. This is a perfect example of emotions that have been accumulating and then the smallest distress triggers a reaction, way out of proportion to the upset.

When stuffed emotions lead to IBS, stomach, head pain or other bodily symptoms, it is the way your body signals that something is off kilter.   I have seen my clients get instant relief from stomach and other pain using cognitive-behavioral-hypnosis, because when we clear the accumulated emotions the body is freed of pain. 

Repressed and stuffed emotions can also lead to a racing mind, anxiety, procrastination, worry, overwhelm, insomnia and feeling stuck. 

Once cleared it is possible to change unwanted patterns. I’ve been helping people with my Transformation System using Cognitive-Behavioral-Hypnosis for 30 years.   It gives us a way to communicate directly to the unconscious part of the mind.  The unconscious is the part of the mind that holds your memories, as well as the solutions.  This is the part that needs to be accessed to in order to release emotions that are at the root of bodily symptoms of pain.  Over the years working with people I have had the joy of helping people to get relief, even from the terrible burden and pain of Fibromyalgia.  

Symptoms are not the cause but the result of something going on underneath the surface of conscious awareness.  That is why it is almost impossible to get lasting change with just cognitive techniques.  Since symptoms are just the tip of the iceberg, we need to go deeper of the underlying stored emotions to get lasting change.

One technique that is useful to get to get relief from pain, is to use the feeling of pain to track back to the very first event where emotion was stuffed into the body causing pain.  We call this the root of the problem.  In a light trance state unconscious information just seems to pop into the mind.  then it is possible to heal the pain at the very root event.    Even if you aren’t aware (on a conscious level) of anger, sadness, hurt or other stuffed emotion your unconscious mind does have a record of it.  The unconscious part of the mind holds the answers to true cause of the many types of physical pain.

Releasing the emotions held since childhood is actually a very quick process, once you know how to talk the language of the unconscious mind.

RECAP: Procrastination, fear, worry, and panic represents just the tip of the iceberg. What is really important is below the surface of conscious awareness. Using the Transformation System gives us a way to access the unconscious and release old stuffed emotions and re-program unwanted reactions.  It is possible to get lasting relief from trauma, sadness, anger, worry, panic, sadness, guilt and fear.   

 How to know if
underlying stuffed emotions are affecting you?

If you feel:

Anxiety, Worry, Fear
Frozen or Stuck
Difficulty focusing 
Heart pounding, Racing Mind
Overwhelm,  procrastination
Pain, IBS, Migraines

Then: Stuffed Emotions Are Getting in Your Way

 Click here for the video guide to start the process 
Take this opportunity to experience
how this simple change physiology can
calm the body and mind. 

This link will give you access to the 7 minute video guide

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Why do we worry – answers to 6 questions on Worry

Worry Comments Off on Why do we worry – answers to 6 questions on Worry

Why do we Worry?
Quick Tips for Worry Relief

The following are some questions that people have sent me.  I’ve given some answers and short tips as I answered the questions.

Question 1. Are some people more prone to worrying than others?

Answer from Audrey: Yes, it is true that some people are more prone to worrying than others.  And, there are many reasons for this.   An event or situation that hardly creates a ripple in one person’s life can create complete overwhelm for another. 

The reason that people react differently is because of the repressed  emotions and beliefs that are formed in childhood. These beliefs become the filters for perceptions and the way events are interpreted. 

Our past experiences will influence how we interpret and react to present day events.  If you have learned that the world is a safe place, or that you have power to create what you want, then the past will effect you in a positive way.

But, for most of people the past also contains events where we felt powerless to speak out or to change what what was happening.

When a person reacts with worry, it is not just the present day situation they are reacting to.  It is actually an entire chain of events and emotions brought from the past reactions into the present day event.  This chain  goes all the way back to childhood events.

In childhood you formed beliefs about yourself.  These beliefs continue to run us in adulthood.  For example some child grow up to believe they are good at thing, others might believe that they are not capable.    Guess which belief will cause more worry.  

As a child you have developed patterns and coping techniques that helped you to deal with stress.  Many of the patterns and beliefs served a positive purpose at the time they were formed, but when they are limiting you in the present they are no longer serving the purpose.

I had a client who had a belief that was causing here a lot of distress. She truly believed that if she didn’t worry something bad would happen. I had another client who believed that worry is the way she showed love.   Each person had many experiences in childhood where it wasn’t safe to just be a child.   Therefore each of these people learned that running every possible negative consequence of any action would help to be safe.    

She learned that worry protected her, so that even as an adult, she still found herself consumed with worry.  The circumstances had changed, but the thought pattern hadn’t. But, instead of protecting her from harm, worry was actually disabling her and getting in the way of her living her life to the fullest.

Fortunately,  it is possible to adjust the thought patterns and beliefs. When we open the doorway to the unconscious mind it is possible to change the programs that cause unnecessary worry.   My clients have changed old programs and thought patterns at the  root from which they spring.   And you can learn to use these tools too.  To see some of the tools I use click here.

2. Is worrying ever a good thing?
Sometimes worry is a fleeting feeling of concern.  This is a natural part of living and relationships. 

Let’s look at the positive purpose of worry.  Despite all the negative feelings attached to it, worry can serve a positive function when it prepares you for possible future difficulties.  It can alert you to things that need to be taken care of, or of consequences of certain actions.  Worry can keep you watchful for symptoms that indicate a possible life-threatening problem, or it can motivate you to take positive action to improve the quality of your life.

However, once you have done everything in your power to anticipate and prepare for possible future problems, worry ceases to serve a positive function.   When your thoughts cycle into negative, scary future possibilities about things that are outside of your control, it is time to learn techniques to stop worry from putting another hardship in your life.

3. Got any simple techniques for stopping worry in its tracks?

There are many different techniques that can be used to stop worry and the stress that results from it.  Choosing the most effective one depends on which part of the stress cycle you are in:  the cognitive, physical or the emotional.

The reason we create negative, scary thoughts.
Your past experiences will determine how you filter information. and also will determines the stories or how you interpret events.

Cognitive part of the stress relief program: Many times the cycle of worry begins with the thoughts we have. For these we have technique to change negative thoughts to positive ones.

The emotional part of the stress relief program:  Use hypnotic techniques to get to the underlying feelings, that anchor our perceptions. 

To better understand this, think about looking at an event that is happening, as if, you were looking through a stained glass window. 

The direction in which you fix your gaze will determine the color of the stained glass that you are seeing the event through.  Where you look will determine how  you see the event.  This in turn will shape your thoughts about what you are seeing. 

The physical part of the stress relief program is like the window itself.   It is the specific entire window of the stained glass colors, that affects everything you see.  Using the physical would involve changing the window itself.

The feeling of worry does not come from the event itself.  It comes from the stories we tell ourselves about the event:  both stories about scary possibilities we imagine for the future, and stories about traumatic experiences we remember from the past.

If you want to break the stress cycle and stop negative thoughts, there is an excellent exercise called the “2 for 1″ technique.  It draws upon the same powerful imagination that you use to create negative stories but instead you use it to create positive thoughts instead.

This technique gives you a potent way of consciously transforming negative thoughts into positive ones.  By practicing it consistently, you begin to change the thought cycles that are causing your worry, and you are also adjusting the unconscious assumptions that keep the cycles alive.

Next time you find yourself spinning into a worry cycle, start by paying attention to the thoughts and stories that are going through your mind, and then do the following:


Step 1: Write down the facts of the event.  What is actually happening right now in the present moment?

Step 2:  Make a list of each thought, picture or story that is triggered by this event.  Stay in a curious state, letting all the negative thoughts come to the surface.  These may be fears that you have for the future, or past traumatic experiences that this event brings back to you.  As you write down these thoughts you will start to realize that no matter how much you might believe the thoughts to be true, they are still just one possible way things might happen.

Once you have a list of the negative thoughts, stories and pictures you are ready for the next step.

Step 3: Cross out the first negative thought you have written down, and write down two possible positive thoughts or possible positive outcomes in its place.  Repeat this for each negative thought on the list, until all your negative thoughts are crossed out and replaced by positive ones.

Most of us are far more used to telling ourselves negative stories than positive ones.  So it may feel a little strange at first to accept these positive thoughts as readily as you did the negative ones.  So at first the “2 for 1” technique may take some conscious effort.  With practice, you will find that the positive thoughts start to pop up on their own, just as the negative ones once did.  By harnessing the power of the same powerful imagination that created the negative stories, you can create a whole range of positive possibilities, which replace the cycle of worry with one of hope and potential.

4.  Example of a woman I worked with who effectively put one of my stress relief techniques to use – a success story.

Here is an example one parent I worked with. I am sure this story will resonate with all parents.  Her son had recently lost part of his hand in a fireworks accident, and as she watched him struggling to tie his shoe with one hand, she found herself spinning into a terrible worry cycle.

In her imagination, she was moving from the facts of the present moment, to a whole range of terrible thoughts and worries for the future: Will he be able to function in a job?  Will he be accepted?  Will this accident change he cheerful personality? She also found herself remembering traumas from the past—remembering how other people had looked at him in the emergency room, and even thinking about how she’d been teased as a child and worrying that it would be even worse for him.

Fortunately, before she allowed this cycle of worry to overtake her, she remembered the “2 for 1” exercise.  She started with the facts of the present event.  Her son was struggling to tie his shoe.  She then wrote down all the negative thoughts that were passing through her mind, and replaced them with positive ones.  She thought about the things he did well, his keen mind, his energy, his goofy sense of humor, she imagined him playing with his friends, thought about jobs in which he could be successful, even imagined him graduating from college and getting married.

And as she did so the cycle of worry stopped, she noticed something that surprised her:  the proud smile on her son’s face as he bounded up to her, his sneakers tied in a perfect knot.

It was then that she realized, at this moment, it wasn’t her son who was struggling.  It was her.

We built on her skills using a combination of advanced hypnotic, NLP and time-line techniques, all contained in the Transformation System.  As a result she was able to change this emotional part of the cycle:  the “stained glass” window of worry that was obscuring her perception.  Then she was able to release the deep-rooted emotions and adjusting the old thought patterns that were fueling her worry.

5.  What if I really believe that the thoughts I have might come true in the future, is there anything I can do about that?

Both the positive and negative thoughts you create about possible future events are fictional.  The problem with negative thoughts and pictures you create, in your mind, is that even though they possibly will never happen, the unconscious mind nevertheless accepts them as if they are true.  And you react with fear in the present moment to something that hasn’t even happened.

In just the same way, when you create positive thoughts, the unconscious mind also accepts them as true, creating a reaction that opens you to the positive possibilities.

Positive and negative thoughts both spring from the same place: your imagination.  They are simply stories.  You have the power of your own mind. So as long as you make up stories, you might as well choose ones that can serve you in a positive way.

6. What’s your best piece of advice for parents of children with special needs?
Parents of special needs children have many stressors that never even enter the minds of other parents.  In fact, many times it is the parent that suffers more than the child, as they struggle to reconcile their dreams for their child with the struggles of everyday life.  Amazingly, children have a way of taking even the most difficult, frustrating situations in stride. The best thing you can do for your child is what you are already doing, being proud of each accomplishment, celebrating what is unique about your child, and continuing to find and celebrate each wonderful gift.

Audrey Sussman, PhD is a nationally recognized seminar leader and author.  Her Transformation System gives the keys to relief from panic, phobias, fear, anger, migraines and Irritable Bowel Syndrome. If you are suffering, you have a better life to gain. For more tips on getting relief from stress visit her website

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Review of Stress Relief Workshop

Exercises and Tips, Procrastination, Worry Comments Off on Review of Stress Relief Workshop
Thank you all for the intense questions on getting relief from panic. I enjoyed working with you at the Hypnosis Quick “Cure” workshop. I’m looking forward to hearing how the techniques are working.

Exciting news!
I’m opening up the next Online Coaching Workshop
to new participants.
Please call 917-399-2102 for information.
As promised here is an overview of the things we talked about. 
  1. Three ways to break the stress cycle, using the 3-part system for stress relief.
  2. Why to use hypnotic techniques to release stuck emotions
  3. The quickest way to change a negative emotion. Using an NLP exercise called changing sub-modalities.
  4. The link for the video guide for the Calming “HAAA breath
    (this is once choice that can be used to make a change at the physical level) To see other choices click here
  5. Two pars of the Mind:
    a.  Conscious: is what we are aware of.
    Unconscious: where memories are stored.
    c. The unconscious part of the mind has the solutions.
    d. When the doorway to unconscious information is created, it is possible to create serenity, confidence and calm . 
  6.  Create a calming “anchor,” with the touch of two fingers or by using Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic cues. 
In the next 4-module coaching workshop we will be adding many new skills  to the “toolbox” of stress relief techniques.
I hope you’ll decide to sign up
Call 856-751-9446 or 917-399-2102 for information.

Looking forward to having you become a part of our supportive online community.  Where you can learn many of the skills I use in private hypnotherapy session., 

It’s only $450 for all 4-modules. Plus, it’s a really fun class.
Each session will be chock full of information,
with answers to your questions,
and real life examples for
reducing anxiety, changing overwhelm,
frustration.worry and stress.

Call now, for more details on the 4 module workshop

NJ  856-751-9446         NY 917-399-2102

change your life this year.


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