Getting Relief from Worry

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The Secret To Getting Relief From Worry

You have a special gift inside of your own mind, just waiting to be opened.  It is one you can learn to use to stay in control of your state of mind, no matter what is going on around you.

This secret is what Viktor Frankl used that allowed him to survive the holocaust and maintain his mental balance.   It is what author Napoleon Hill weaves into his famous advice on achieving financial success in Think and Grow Rich.  And it is something that you have within yourself right now, like a gift, all wrapped up, waiting for you to unwrap and put into immediate use.

Anyone can learn to use this gift.  And the really amazing thing about it is, it never gets used up, because the more you use it the more powerful it becomes.

You might be wondering what is needed for you to gain access to this gift, and this is what we’ll be discussing. As director of the Anxiety Control Center I’ve been helping people to gain access in order to get relief from anxiety, worry, panic, procrastination and fear. From my years of research and practice, I have found that there are three parts needed to totally use this gift you have within.   In this article you’ll get step-by-step directions on using the first set of powerful tools for using the gift of your own mind.

As you experience gaining access I hope it peaks your curiosity to learn more.  The tools you’ll find in this, and in my other articles and books are ones that you can use right away.  There are some self-hypnotic techniques I’ll offer to help you speed up the process.  The more tools you have in your worry relief toolbox, the more choice and control you can have.

More advanced skills are for another time, we’ll start today by setting you on the path of knowing how to offer the correct signals to your brain to trigger calm, balance and serenity –  instead of worry, fear and anxiety.

So, if you’re ready to step on the path to calm, let’s get started with the first step: learning to quiet a racing mind. We start here because as your mind settles down it becomes easier to do the next steps in the process.  If you already have view this video guide just skip this step and move to the next step of breaking the worry cycle.

The end goal is to be able to trigger a powerful, positive state of mind, at will. Along the way, we’ll discuss ways to identify the internal and external triggers that cause worry and anxiety. And then I’ll offer tools you can use to change the reaction from worry to serenity. As you take each step you’ll find yourself easily moving forward, towards the state of mind you want to achieve, with the techniques to train your own mind to interpret and react to events in life enhancing ways.

STEP ONE: Click Here To View The Calming The Mind Video Guide: All the steps needed for using the mind calming technique are contained in the 7 minute video guide. Use the Calming the Mind Video  to get your mind and body ready. Once the mind is quiet we will move to the next steps.

Breaking the worry cycle
by changing  thoughts
that trigger anxiety and worry.  

In the next technique we go behind the scenes to identify bodily signals (and thoughts that add to worry).

Sometimes you might be  aware of your body sensations and scary thoughts.  But at times you might find that you are disconnected, or that your thoughts move so quickly that you aren’t aware of them.

If you have suffered from a traumatic event, at times the memory is repressed, hidden from awareness. Although they are repressed they still have an effect on the way you react to the world.  And at times these repressed traumatic memories can be triggered by something happening in the present moment.  

To make it easier to find what is triggering feeling, start by noticing the part of body where you feel the stress, worry or anxiety.

What I have found is each emotion is held in a different area of the body, and that each person has a unique place for each emotion.   For example for one person fear might feel like a churning in the stomach, for another a tightness in the chest, and for another it might feel heavy feeling all over.  Once you identify the different areas where you feel your emotions it becomes easier to identify what the emotion is really about, instead of lumping it all as fear.

If we get quiet and ask our body for information it’s amazing the informational body gives us that we can use

Some emotions to identify are fear, sadness, excitement, embarrassment, and worry.  And you can use the body awareness to get in touch with the thoughts that are trigger your feelings.

Step Two:  After using the Calming the Mind technique notice where in your body you feel the worry or tension.  If at first you aren’t sure it may be that you have pushed down this important information. With practice you can reconnect to the information your body is giving you.  Start by just stay open and curious as you do a body scan and notice if there is some place that you feel the tension, tightness, or whatever other bodily reaction.  Once you notice where in your body you feel the emotion, ask yourself when in the past you had this same type of feeling in the body.  Or you can simply begin to wonder what the body is trying to tell you.  In this way you can begin to find the thoughts that are triggering the feelings. 

Next article: Anxiety, fear and worry get triggered in
Two primary ways

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1) Past Events:  Remembering upsetting situations that already happened. Sometimes we are aware of these memories and worry that the feared situation might occur again. (this is typical with social phobia, we we worry what others might think, or in fear of flying after having a scary flight)

At other times we aren’t aware that the old fearful memories are being triggered, we just know we are flooded with worry and anxiety. (I had a client that was embarrassed in 4th grade when her teacher made her stand in front of the room as a punishment for talking. She didn’t realize that this was the root of her fear of talking in public, until we tracked the fear back using hypnosis.)

2) Upcoming Feared Events:  Thinking about awful things that might possibly happen in the future.  (what if phrases usually proceed these types of thoughts.  Many worries are triggered by the the scenarios we create of possible negative things that might happen in the future:  Fear of flying, test taking, driving,  are some of the 

Your Thoughts Stimulate Reactions

Whenever you concentrate on the multitude of possible scary scenarios that might come about in the future, the unconscious part of the mind acts as if they are already taking place. One of the interesting things about the unconscious mind is that it accepts your thoughts, pictures and memories as if they are real. Then the unconscious part begins to flood you with the chemicals, these further trigger feelings of worry, sadness, overwhelm, fear and insecurity. Thoughts can even create pain in the body, even when you are completely unaware of them.

The good news is that you can get relief by learning to change thought patterns that bring them about.

Whenever you find yourself stuck or indecisive, whenever you’re beating yourself up for procrastination, whenever you find yourself stuck in worry practice using the next two tools to break the cycle.

Tool one: Changing one simple word (or sentence):

I was working with a client and she told me that she was so anxious that she couldn’t even make a decision on what food to she wanted to eat. She was running a real negative conversation in her head about how she wasn’t able to make decisions. I asked her to change her words from I can’t make a decision to I choose not to make a decision, on what food I want to eat. She said that felt uncomfortable saying it that way. And I’m sure it did feel uncomfortable saying she was choosing not to make a decision. The positive about saying I choose is that it put her at cause. Since she is choosing (not to make a decision) she can also change her choices. 

Not being at cause makes you feel like something else is controlling you, and that adds to self-blame and anxiety. So as difficult as it is to say, I’m choosing (to think of negatives, to procrastinate, to worry) it puts you at a power position of choosing or not choosing, you’re back control.

Tool Two:
Step 1. Being at cause – by saying I choose . . .

Step 2. The second step after being at cause is to say to yourself:
That’s curious, that I’m choosing not to make a decision. I wonder what that’s about?

When my client used step two and focused inward with the question, it amazed us both when she got her answer: The reason she wasn’t making a decision on what to eat was that she really wasn’t hungry, she was bored. After getting that information she can now see that it wasn’t that she was stuck and not able to make decisions (about food), it was that she needed to find something else to do so she would feel productive.

Techniques to get relief from
worry, anxiety and fear

The stress-fear-worry cycle actually has three different parts.
a. Thoughts (cognitions)
b. Physical (bodily and chemical reactions)
c. Emotions (triggered by thoughts or body)

And there are tools that you can choose from according to what part of the worry cycle is being stimulated. Click here to view the diagram that shows many different tools that you can choose from.

Just as when a house is built it starts with setting the foundation. When we work with the mind we set the foundation as well. What you are learning today will give you some framework to work within. Then in the final part, we can move to change the faulty inner programs, stuffed emotions and limiting beliefs that are running, behind the scenes, triggering your thoughts, perceptions and reactions.

Moving to the next part: I’m going to ask you to take a moment to think about some important ideas about the mind-body connection, as it relates to stress relief.

We’ll start with the concept that there are actually two parts that make up the mind-body connection. There are there parts that you are aware of, we’ll call the conscious part of the mind. The conscious part of the mind includes your thoughts, logic, perceptions and interpretations about what is going on in any event.

And the other part, the one that works behind the scenes we’ll call the unconscious (or subconscious) part. You know that there is an unconscious part running because it keeps your heart beating without any work on your part.  Get keeps your body working, and it sends the signals for all the chemicals that move through your system.  It’s responsible for digestion, breathing, and healing of wounds. All taking place without any conscious effort on your part.  And the unconscious part is responsible for so much more:  it stores all your memories, happy ones as well as traumatic ones.  And it has many programs that run in the  background that keep you in a serene and balanced state or that that cause you to react in your own unique way.

It’s important to recognize this part of the mind, because it is the part we go to when we want to re-program unwanted reactions. When I teach my clients how to access the unconscious the bonus they get is being able to tap into resources, such as power, self-confidence, serenity. Imagine uncovering a treasure trove of resources within your self, ones can be used to overcome fear, shyness, and limiting beliefs. And it’s all there just waiting for you.

When you used the Calming the Mind Exercise you were actually setting the stage for gaining access to the unconscious part. This tool gives the easiest way to create a light hypnotic trance that is needed to calm the mind and to focus inward. As you experienced, getting into an inner-focused self-hypnotic state is to easy to do on your own. My other books and articles discuss more advanced techniques.

The importance of learning to get into an inner focused state of mind (trance state) is that this is where it is possible to identify and correct faulty programs that trigger fear, anxiety, worry and unwanted reactions. The unconscious part also responds to your thoughts and this is the area that we will begin to work on.

RECAP: There are primarily three different ways of breaking the worry and stress cycle. In the next step we’ll be using a tool to stop negative thoughts. As you already know negative thinking increases stress and worry. This next tool uses a light trance state (inner focus) to first identify any negative thoughts and then a tool to break the worry cycle (on the conscious level).

Because the mind can trigger worry just by thinking of scary or unsettling things this is a good place to start for gaining control of emotions.

Breaking the worry cycle
by changing the thoughts
that trigger anxiety and worry.  

The next technique will give you a way of going behind the scenes to identify the thoughts that are causing worry.  Sometimes you are aware of your scary thoughts.  And at times thoughts move so quickly through the mind, that you aren’t aware of them. What you are aware of is the reaction in the body, and the stress in the mind.

How does anxiety, fear and worry get triggered?
Two primary ways we trigger worry



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