Healing PTSD, anger and limiting beliefs #6

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Today I’ll be giving more answers to the people looking for help with anger, abuse, old hurts and fears.  

The questions will appear below with short answers woven into each case.   Even  the deepest most upsetting, traumatic memories can be healed.  Reactions like anger and rage can be changed.  When we change the “response” at the root or “programming” level  you won’t have to work so hard on the “conscious level.”  It’s almost like the calming response becomes automatic,  allowing you react in the way you want.

Old angers, hurts, fears, or trauma do not have to control your life.

Here is a reminder of the questions:   The first question is from a person who is in anguish because of abuse suffered as a child.  The second question is about anger that continues to fester long after an upsetting event, and is seeping into other areas of life.  The third question deals with guilt after reacting with rage to a seemingly small frustration.  And the fourth question is about a belief that is causing resentment towards family and friends.

In the last few posts we talked a lot about the issue of “shaking the memories of abuse”.   If you have more questions about abuse, or trauma, please send them to Audrey by clicking here.

Today we’ll be discussing the next issue about old anger seeping into daily activities:
Question 2:
  “I had a very bad experience at work.  I’m still angry, but the worst part of it is that it is affecting how I interact with others.  I find myself expecting the worst.  As I experience the memory replaying in my mind I get into a bad “mood” and react horribly to others.  I even know that I only hurt myself by keeping this anger inside.   Try as I might, so far, I haven’t been able to let the anger go.  Please let me know if there is a way I can go back to being the loving, trusting person I used to be”.

Answer by Audrey:  Replaying a “negative” or upsetting experience may be a persons way of trying to resolve the problem.  Unfortunately, when the memories continue to re-stimulate anger,  it stops being a useful way to discharge upset.  In the example above, the anger is seeping into other areas of the persons life. 

Changing the intensity of anger.

1.  This tip/exercise can be used right away to take the “charge” out of the old hurtful memory.    
2.  The bonus of using the “distance” NLP technique is that if you need to talk to the person who caused the upset, it will be easier after the intensity of the anger decreases.
3.  It might turn out that without the intensity of anger you decide that since you are feeling better it’s not important for you to talk to the person.  (Especially as in this case you no longer work with that person).

4.  To completely stop the replaying of anger it might be necessary to do deeper work on the unconscious level.  If that is the case, you can still use the technique to gain a bit of distance.  In this way you won’t feel so drawn into the event again and again.
5.  Remember automatic reactions are set up in the programming in the unconscious mind.
6.  They are caused from life experiences, hurts and unresolved trauma.
7.  For a permanent change in reactions you don’t like, it might be necessary to go to the root of the event.
8.  When the root event is healed it is then possible to release the emotions all the way to the present.
9.  This doesn’t mean that you forget the event, it just means it doesn’t cause continued distress.

  Creating a new perspective using sub-modality of  “distance.”
Instructions to start to change the feeling of anger

Step 1:
START BY:   Thinking about an upsetting memory.
IMPORTANT NOTE:   Please pick something that is very minor upset for your first use of this technique.

Step 2:   Floating “above” the event
a.  Imagine that  you are floating above the “upsetting memory/event.”
b.  Simply imagine / pretend that you are a bird or butterfly, or imagine that you are floating what high up above the event, on a soft fluffy cloud.  Pretending or imagining is all that is necessary to “float” way above the “event” that caused the anger.
c.  As you are “floating” way up above the event,  look down at  the event.
d.  How does being what high up above change the feelings?
e.  Notice not only the feeling as you are “far away” from the event, but also any other changes.

f.  Here are some other sub-modalities you can use.  Just notice what changes as you “play” with the different submodalities.
     1.  Make the memory small or unfocused.
     2.  If it is a moving picture you are looking at, make it a snap shot.
     3.  If it was in color turn it to black and white or sepia tone.
     4.  We’ll talk more about sub-modalities and the effect on memories, when I post on more NLP techniques.
g.  For most people a slight change in one or more of the above sub-modalities (1 – 4) changes the feeling.
h.  If the event is a major upset, more will need to be done – to release the emotional charge

Notes:
1. This is a Neuro-Linguistic Programming technique that is called “changing sub-modalities.”
2.  Sub-modalities are the “pieces” that make up a picture, and there are dozens of sub-modalities that can be changed.
3.  For this exercise, we started with one small sub-modality shift:  Distance, then we added others.
4.  Many people find that just changing the ‘distance’  sub-modality creates almost instant relief.
5. The shifting of sub-modalities can be used for anger as well as other emotions.
6.  Remember: If you need more help please call to schedule a private session with one of our hypno-therapists.  They know what to do if deeper work is needed.  

7.  And, although the technique works for changing the feelings, if reactions continue to arise, it might be useful to seek out a hypno-therapist to help you change the pattern/programming that causes the unwanted anger reactions.  

More to come in the next post

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Healing traumatic memories and limiting beliefs #5

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In the last post we were looking at healing at the deeper level where the roots of the reaction comes from.   How do you know when it’s time to go deeper or use different techniques?  When you continue to feel anger, fear, hurt or resentment even when you really tried to change;  When no matter how hard you try it seems impossible to shake the memories; Then it’s time to seek out a different method.  Something that will help you to gain access to the very powerful unconscious part of the mind.   And again I want to reassure you, it is possible to get true and lasting relief from traumatic memories.   So, instead of just trying to use distraction, or trying to forgive let’s re-cap what works better.  

Re-cap of previous posts:
1.  To begin the process we begin with getting to the unconscious part of the mind.

2.  To gain access to unconscious information we use a  light trance state.

3.  It is possible to learn hypnotic techniques where you can get into just the right state for the best results.

4.  We use Ericksonian Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic Programming.  (Not Classical Hypnosis for this type of work).

5.  Once in a hypnotic (light trance state) it is possible to release emotions at the root. old memories.

6.   When emotions are released (at the root event) the memories lose their hold on us.

7.  After releasing emotions from events and memories –  we can begin to re-program old negative beliefs. Those are the beliefs that keep us stuck in patterns of behavior that don’t work.

Note:   There are a many different hypnotic techniques, in addition to releasing the emotions, that may be used.  A skilled hypno-therapist trained in the Transformation System will have these various  techniques in their “toolbox” of healing.  Each person is different, therefore the techniques will be combined in different ways for each unique person and issue.

In the next post we  take a look at the questions and issues we started with.  Then we can look at how the information we’ve been looking at, can be translated for each different question and issue.

to be continued. . .

 

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Traumatic memories can be healed #4

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In the last post we were looking at the difference between trying to change old reactions using 2 different methods.  One is just using the cognitive part of the mind and finding that it might work  for a while but the  frustration sets in when the old memories resurface again and again.  

The method I was suggesting instead is, in addition to the cognitive part of the mind, add to this the emotional (unconscious) power we have inside of us.  I was talking about hypnotic techniques we use with the clients who come to the Anxiety Control Center.   To understand why hypnotic techniques help people to get the changes they desire,  it’s important to understand more about how the mind works.  As we look at where reactions of anger, fear, hurt and worry really come from, it will make it clear why just using the conscious part of the mind doesn’t work to stop memories from surfacing.

Let’s look at changing reactions to old memories:

When you try to fix deeply held emotional suffering on the conscious level it is like trying to fix a glitch that appears on the computer screen without going into the program that is causing the glitch. The error will continue to show up on the computer screen.

On the other hand when we heal the “inner child” by releasing the emotions held in the unconscious, the release of emotions will effect how you react in the present.   Healing a childhood memory creates changes that heal all the way through your life line.  This is what changes reactions to present day events.

In the last post I was talking about healing at a deeper level.  I like to use a metaphor to explain the conscious and the unconscious.   Easiest way to understand the two different parts of the mind is to s by comparing the mind (conscious and unconscious) to a computer.   The computer screen can be compared to the conscious mind.   The computer screen can only hold a limited amount of information at any one time.  This is similar to the conscious part of the mind, which can also hold only a limited amount of information.   On the other hand the computer memory hold all that goes on within the programming of the computer,  this  is why I compare it to the unconscious part of the mind.  For the unconscious part of the mind contains every memory, on every event that has ever happened in a person’s life.   It also holds the resources we need to solve deeper issues and problems.

Anyone who works on the computer probably will know the frustration of what happens when you try to fix a glitch on the computer screen, without going to the programming where the problem really is.  If you just change the error showing up on the computer screen, the error will continue to pop up.

A least that is what I have found when I’ve tried to fix a glitch on my computer screen or on my website.  Although I may be expert in helping people to use their own mind, I have learned this information doesn’t translate to computer issues.   It seems to me that a whole new language is necessary to fix computer glitches.   And when I have tried to fix a computer or HTML issue on my website issue without going to the programming (coding),   countless hours are lost,  and the problem.

There of course is an amazing difference if I call someone who understands how to change HTML coding, or programming glitches that are causing the computer error.  Miraculously they understand how to go to the “inside memory or coding” and the computer error is fixed.   Going to an expert when having computer issues saves time and lots of frustration.

It is very similar with the mind.  Trying to fix a deeply held emotion or reaction without going to where the deeper issue or “coding or program” is held, leads to frustration and to feeling hopeless.   So don’t give up, there is help out there,

If you have been trying to fix a problem that keeps surfacing, if you are feeling depressed and frustrated, it may be time to call in an expert.   Therapists who are trained in using the Transformation System, who have studied the mind and who have the skills and know-how to help you to reprogram, and help you heal the inner emotions,  so your mind and your reactions are in line with what you desire.

I digress, yet it is important information and continuing in the next post   we’ll get back to answering the how to shake old memories that you’d like to forget.

The amazing thing about the human mind is that we are able to learn to use the power we have within us, to re-structured and heal negative emotions and patterns.

to be continued in the next post… .

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How to release emotions on traumatic memories #3

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In the last post we were discussing memories from childhood that surface and play havoc with living a happy, fulfilled life.

The question is:  Question 1:  I’m just wondering how do I shake memories that I want to forget.  I’ve tried distraction and forgiveness but I and can’t seem to let them go?  Old memories of abuse when I was a child surface everyday, and last almost all day.  I tell myself to just stop, it doesn’t work they come unbidden.  I’m 35 years old and it seems to me that there hasn’t been a day that goes by, where some awful memory doesn’t surface.   As ashamed as I am to admit this, I am reaching out because I really need help and some advice. I pray that there is a way to forget.

Answer from Audrey:  continued from the last post:

We are discussing why all the good intentions of forgiveness and distractions aren’t helping to stop the anger and sadness created by memories of abuse or trauma.       For years this person has been struggling, trying shaking old memoriesand as you can imagine there is a feeling of hopelessness and frustration that results, when no matter the intention, the memory and emotions continue to surface again and again.  

The outcome of being able to let go of the emotions that get in the way and move on can be achieved.   If trying to fix something on a conscious level doesn’t work, don’t give up.  It is possible to change even the most ingrained reactions by going  to a different level of the mind.  Then true change is possible.

The reason trying to forgive or distract oneself  doesn’t work, is because the true problem can’t be fixed in this way.  To get true and lasting relief –  the emotions that are embedded in the memories need to be healed and released.  And this is possible!  Best of all it doesn’t have to take years and years.   

Part of what I do everyday with my clients is to show them how to use hypnotic (Ericksonian not Classical**) techniques to quickly get to the root of the problem.  It is interesting that when we utilize the wisdom of the unconscious mind, we might even find that the root lies at a deeper level than what a person might have thought.  And it is amazing what changes take place when we “fix” the issues at this unconscious, underlying level. 

When we heal the “inner child” the changes effect how you react in the present.  Is as if the gift you give of taking time to heal a childhood memory continues to move all the way through you time line, and the adult is also healed.

Let’s look at this in another way.   When you try to fix deeply held emotional suffering on the conscious level it is like trying to fix a glitch that appears on the computer screen without going into the program that is causing the glitch.

To be continued in the next post. . . .

** Ericksonian hypnotic techniques allow us to get the the root of a problem.  Using these different techniques the client works in  partnership with the hypno-therapist.  The clients own unconscious has the answers and therefore it makes sense for the client to be part of the team.  The hypno-therapist has the knowledge of the hundreds of techniques that can be used, but it is the clients own unconscious that guides the process.  This is different from Classical hypnosis the client is a more passive recipient.     I do use Classical hypnosis for many things, but rely on Ericksonian and NLP techniques to help people get release from deeply held beliefs and emotions.  


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Learning how to forget – How to Erase Traumatic Memories

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Many people either come to the Anxiety Control Center, or send emails hoping to find answers for getting relief from anxiety, sadness, fear, worry, panic and phobias.

In the last few weeks, a number of questions have come in asking for help with anger, abuse and flashbacks.   Even old upsetting, traumatic memories can be healed.  Many people want to know if these memories can be erased.  The answer is yes!  Old angers, hurts, fears, or trauma do not have to control your life.  I want to let this brave people know that even the deepest issues, and reactions can be changed.

In this post I will be using a “collage” of the questions.   The first question is from a person who is in anguish because of abuse suffered as a child. The second question is about anger that continues to fester long after an upsetting event, and is seeping into other areas of life.  The third question deals with guilt after reacting with rage to a seemingly small frustration.  And the fourth question is about a belief that is causing resentment towards family and friends.

It is possible to change old reactions.
I have been showing people how for over 27 years.

 To be continued in the next post. . .

 

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