Anxiety Control Center

STEPS FOR TRANSFORMING SADNESS TO HOPE

Audrey Sussman PhD, LCSW, NBCCH, Director Anxiety Control Center

Has the thought of summer ending triggered feelings of loss or sadness?  If so you are not alone.  At different times of the year the Anxiety Control Center gets inundated with phone calls from people suffering from melancholy, loneliness, sadness or anxiety.

Would you like instantly transform uncomfortable feelings to ones of excitement, hope, calm, security and balance?

It may surprise you to learn that the let down feelings are actually not due to the change of season.  It is actually caused by thoughts, pictures and memories that move quickly through the mind.  Some people are aware of these thoughts, and others are completely unaware, but just know that they feel “down” or depressed.

For example with the ending of summer, many people who feel let down have thoughts of a cold, dark, lonely winter approaching.  Others are sad because they haven’t done all they expected to during the summer.  These feelings then trigger other old memories of sadness or disappointment that adds to the negative feelings.

The good news is that there are many ways to quickly change feelings and gain a new perspective.  To begin the process of transforming negative feelings to positive ones it’s important to understand how these feelings come about in the first place.  There are two major ways that upset feelings are created: 1) Thinking about upsetting past issues or 2) Thinking about awful things that might happen in the future, and worrying about them as if they have already taken place.  When a person concentrates on all the possible negative scenarios that might come about, it is understandable that feelings of sadness, fear or insecurity arise.

The first easy method in taking back control of your feelings is to begin to recognize the thoughts underlying them, and then to change them to more enhancing, positive thoughts.  Do the following: 1. Think about an event that has been causing sadness, anger or another uncomfortable feeling.  2. Make a list of each negative thought that you have attached to this event.  3. Then write down two (possible) positive thoughts, for each negative one you have written down.

For example if you were thinking about a cold, dreary winter, you could make up a   more positive picture of an exciting winter activity, like skiing, sledding, or ice-skating, and then another thought of yourself doing something else you enjoy in the winter months, like sitting by a warm fire, or sipping a cup of hot cocoa.

By changing your focus to these new, more positive thoughts, you send a message to your subconscious mind that will begin to change feelings to more positive ones.  Since it is your mind you might as well use it in this positive way.

Of course, this is only the start, there are other techniques available to clear deeply held negative emotions, so that you can recover your zest for life.  Click here to email us directly to get articles, more information about upcoming workshops, e-courses and upcoming free online tele-seminars.

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Learn to “see” things in a different way

Hi, I’m Tish and you will be seeing regular posts from me.  I am a Hypnotherapist at the Anxiety Control Center and I have been helping people get relief from such issues as anxiety, panic, anger and health related stress issues for over 12 years.  I welcome your questions and comments, and look forward to hearing from you.

Our own minds can sometimes be our worst enemy, which is interesting because that is one of the very few things that we actually have control over. We don’t have control over other people’s behavior, the taxes we are charged, the weather and hundreds of other things.  We do have control over our thoughts. I have found that sometimes people get so focused on the negative aspect of situations that they can’t even believe that there may be a positive in it somewhere.  Sometimes people just need a little help, or reframing, to see that positive, And at times, I too, need some.

We recently moved and found that some of our furniture would not fit into our new house. One piece in particular was an expensive piece of furniture. It was well constructed of solid wood and was in excellent condition, so I decided to sell it.

It took a while, but I finally found someone who was interested and sold it.  I knew I was going to get a considerable amount less than I paid, but I didn’t expect to practically give it away.  So while I felt good that it sold, there was a part of me that felt like it should have sold for more money and I felt cheated.

I was telling my son this and he did a beautiful reframe for me. He said “well mom, you had it for15 years, so you really got your money’s worth.”  Once he said that, I felt a wonderful shift occur in my body, I did some quick math and realized that it cost less than a dollar a day to enjoy my beautiful piece of furniture. Less than a morning beverage at the local coffee shop!   And now, some other family is going to continue to reap the benefits of this beautiful piece of furniture.

So a reframe is simply another way of viewing a situation.  Many times people look at a situation and only see the negative aspect.  The meaning of a situation is a result of what each individual decides to focus on.  I was focusing on the loss of money. My son’s reframe actually had me “see” that it was, in fact, a bargain while I owned it.

Think of a recent situation that occurred where you felt a negative emotion and you may find that there are other ways to “look” at it that are actually positive.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on specific issues you send in.

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2 powerful mind calming exercises.

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Continuation for yesterdays post on creating the state of mind your desire.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on specific issues you send in.  To contact me with your questions click here.

Want to begin your journey now,  sign in at the box at the top right  of this page and
claim your 2 powerful mind calming exercises.

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

As I was writing this article I realized that it is important for me to share some more information on the power of using your own mind. So, before I finish with the 7 step formula for life changing mantras, I will give you what I feel are 3 Vital Secrets your need to begin to think about when creating the state of mind you desire.

Secret 1: Thoughts have vibrations, positive thoughts will attract the other positive ones. Negative thoughts will attract more negative ones.

Secret 2: What you persistently hold in your mind will become the reality as it becomes part of the workings of your unconscious mind.

Secret 3: You can tap into the unlimited potential held in the unconscious part of the mind to achieve what you desire.

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Continuation for yesterdays post on creating the state of mind your desire.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on specific issues you send in.  To contact me with your questions click here.

Want to begin your journey now,  sign in at the box at the top right  of this page and
claim your 2 powerful mind calming exercises.

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

Negatives mantras “playing in the back of your mind” can cause you to doubt your own talents or abilities, to feel responsible or guilty for things that are not your fault, and even get in the way in relationships.  The feelings produced by mantras can lead to over-eating, anxiety, procrastination, addiction and depression.  Negative mantras can keep you from achieving your goals and take the joy out of the things you love.

At first it may take awhile to become aware of these negative mantras, but with time and practice, they will begin to emerge. Whenever negative thoughts and images move through your mind they have an effect on your mood. No matter how intelligent, creative or successful you may be these messages cause stress and even self-doubt.  As a hypno-therapist, I see the pain that is caused when people beat themselves up with negative self-talk.  Sometimes we are consciously aware of the harmful messages, but many times thoughts move so quickly that we aren’t even aware we just had a thought.  What we are aware of is tension and stress negative thoughts leave behind.

So what can you do if negative mantras are interfering in your life?  The first step is to recognize your negative mantras. Just start by paying attention when uncomfortable feelings surface.  As you become aware of your feelings, “listen” for the dis-empowering thoughts passing through your mind.

Often, when we have a negative feeling, we’re not even aware of that . . .   continued tomorrow.

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Continuation for yesterdays post on creating the state of mind your desire.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on specific issues you send in.  To contact me with your questions click here.

Want to begin your journey now,  sign in at the box at the top right  of this page and
claim your 2 powerful mind calming exercises.

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

Quite simply, mantras are the things we tell ourselves. For example, on the golf course if you felt annoyed because of a badly played hole, it wouldn’t be a problem if you were able to start fresh on the next hole.  But when one negative thought leads to the next, it can destroy your focus for the rest of the game, and even follow you after you leave the course. In this case you have a negative mantra that is playing havoc with your state of mind.  There are 7 steps you can put into play to stop this disabling habit of negative mantras.

When people think of mantras they usually think about those used in eastern religions for positive spiritual change.  And although you might not have such a fancy name for it, the chances are that you probably use positive mantras yourself, everyday.    A mantra could be what you say to yourself to get psyched up for a big meeting,  a golf tournament or going out to a social event.  Or what you tell yourself in order to stay positive when life is getting you down. When mantras are positive and constructive, they can help us enjoy our lives and achieve our goals.  But the negative things we tell ourselves can also act as mantras, leading us in an undesired direction.

Negatives mantras “playing in the back of your mind” can cause. . .   more to come tomorrow.

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Today I will start the first of 5 posts about ways of creating an optimal state of mind, for learning, growing and moving through problems.  I will be using the game of golf as one example of where people find negative “mantras” interfering with the enjoyment of the game.  But negative mantras can get in the way in relationships,  when speaking in public, going to the doctor, taking a test, flying and even going on vacation.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on specific issues you send in.  To contact me with your questions click here.

Please sign in at the box at the top right  of this page to claim your 2 powerful mind calming exercises.

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

Many golfers go to the golf course looking forward to a way to hone their skills and as a break from the pressures of work and life.  Unfortunately, many times life stress can tag along like an unwanted guest, turning what would normally be an enjoyable experience into a draining one.

Stress is actually created by they way we think. I call the harmful thoughts and messages that “take us down” negative mantras.   Negative mantras can ruin your focus, and can create a state of mind that gets in the way of optimum performance. Even when you aren’t aware of that little inner voice running in the back of your mind, you will know there is a negative mantra running, when you feel stress and tension in your body or mind.

For example . . .     more tomorrow.

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