Anxiety Control Center

My dad just gave me a note that he had been carrying around with him for the past 2 years.  I had sent him the  note  when he was grieving the loss of his wife of 32 years. I am reprinting it her in hopes that it can help others who are grieving, as it helped my dad.  I have removed the very personal parts and just left the information I sent him about how to change feelings  by  creating pictures and  thoughts that create pleasant scenes rather than ones of pain and sadness.

USING THE MIND-BODY CONNECTION TO GAIN CONTROL OVER EMOTIONS

Dad read this, I hope it might help in some way, with you pain and loneliness you are feeling.  Dad, in this very sad time I realize how hard it is to believe you will ever feel happy again.  And grief is normal and expected when you lose someone you love.  But, as the months have passed  I listen to you, and as you describe the pictures you are remembering they are about feeling hopeless because of the pain and suffering you keep seeing your wonderful wife going through.   I see how these “pictures”  affects you as you relive those traumatic memories.   Yet, I also hear you talking  about many wonderful times you had together before her illness, but almost as soon as you have those thoughts the pictures of pain and sadness, overtake you again.   I am sending you some thoughts that come from the book I wrote called, Power of Thought.   I know what a positive person you have been your whole life.  Always finding the “silver lining” no matter how hard the situation, and I hope as you read the words they will remind you of how to do this again.  Perhaps you will use you wonderful creativity to add to my thoughts on this and use your thoughts and memories in a way that creates sweet joy, instead of horror and pain.

Dad here is the excerpt, I’m not editing it too much.  First I want to say that it’s important to know that  emotions are brought on by the thoughts and pictures we create.  A thought is an image that you project.   It has force and energy and carries vibrations that move throughout the mind and body.  A vibration, as I am using the word  is an energy wave or feeling that comes from the mind of the thinker.  Vibrations that come from thoughts have an impact on the mind and body.  Thoughts and the vibrations attached to them, function like a magnet that attracts similar thoughts. So when you have painful thoughts they attract more memories of pain and sadness. And,  you can change your thoughts to ones that create peaceful feelings, and they will attract other memories and feelings of peace and balance.

Even if the images that are created  are not on the conscious level, they still vibrate within your system.  The more emotion a thought holds, the more impact the “thought, picture or vibration” will have.

No matter what is going on in life, people can learn to be in command of the thoughts they create.  Even when there are stressors and events outside of your control, your thoughts can be developed in a way that has a positive impact, even changing  how you interpret  events.  Dad, I know that you have used this technique many times in the past, like the time you went to get the wig for your wife, after chemo, and you were so touched and happy about how caring the person who helped you was, you came back from that appointment feeling uplifted, even though the situation was still a difficult one. So you already understand that, no matter what events may have transpired  your mind can  create thoughts that enhance your well-being.  Your own mind, and the thoughts you create, can be the most powerful resource for you when you use it in this enhancing way.  So continue to guide your thoughts with positive energy, putting a positive spin on even a “negative” event.

I haven’t sent you the previous chapters which have an introduction on how old events influence a person’s present outlook, because I know how you have used your mind in a positive way through out my growing up years. So, I’m not sending you the discussion on creating the deep change, by clearing out old limiting beliefs and repressed emotions.

I am reminding you that without even doing deep change work, to release those old sad memories and trauma of the past few years, you can make changes using your thoughts to re-program  the way your mind works, creating thoughts and pictures that work better that those of pain and loss. This is powerful way to reduce sadness, loneliness and stress.  So remember pictures and thoughts that lead to reactions can be changed on a conscious level (as you know we did some unconscious work to get rid of your headaches, and we can do some more NLP work if you want to change the mental images that are troubling you, but for now start being curious about new images you create.  For every negative one, create two that work better.   I know it is a “push” to do this when you are sad, yet it really can make a powerful difference in your emotional state.   I’ll talk to you more about this later.    Just wanted to have it in writing so you can refer to these notes when you want.

Remmeber your body is a complex living system,  every part affects every other part, including your emotions and you healing.  Your thoughts create physical reactions, such as the clenching in your stomach after a particularly traumatic memory.  Even a quick thought can generate a physical reaction in the body.  For example, just thinking about a fun vacation you had, remember the boat trip in the blue lagoon in Italy, I can see you smiling as you talk about it.   That memory created a reaction or vibration in your body, as if it were happening in the present.   What you think has an impact on the “vibrations” that are sent throughout your body.  So, the way a you think can lead to positive vibrations, which lead to feelings of happiness, joy and contentment.    So I leave you with this to think about, I know you have already created a path of positive memories, so this is just a gentle reminder in how to use your mind in this time a recovery.  With all my love. Audrey

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STEPS FOR TRANSFORMING SADNESS TO HOPE

Audrey Sussman PhD, LCSW, NBCCH, Director Anxiety Control Center

Has the thought of summer ending triggered feelings of loss or sadness?  If so you are not alone.  At different times of the year the Anxiety Control Center gets inundated with phone calls from people suffering from melancholy, loneliness, sadness or anxiety.

Would you like instantly transform uncomfortable feelings to ones of excitement, hope, calm, security and balance?

It may surprise you to learn that the let down feelings are actually not due to the change of season.  It is actually caused by thoughts, pictures and memories that move quickly through the mind.  Some people are aware of these thoughts, and others are completely unaware, but just know that they feel “down” or depressed.

For example with the ending of summer, many people who feel let down have thoughts of a cold, dark, lonely winter approaching.  Others are sad because they haven’t done all they expected to during the summer.  These feelings then trigger other old memories of sadness or disappointment that adds to the negative feelings.

The good news is that there are many ways to quickly change feelings and gain a new perspective.  To begin the process of transforming negative feelings to positive ones it’s important to understand how these feelings come about in the first place.  There are two major ways that upset feelings are created: 1) Thinking about upsetting past issues or 2) Thinking about awful things that might happen in the future, and worrying about them as if they have already taken place.  When a person concentrates on all the possible negative scenarios that might come about, it is understandable that feelings of sadness, fear or insecurity arise.

The first easy method in taking back control of your feelings is to begin to recognize the thoughts underlying them, and then to change them to more enhancing, positive thoughts.  Do the following: 1. Think about an event that has been causing sadness, anger or another uncomfortable feeling.  2. Make a list of each negative thought that you have attached to this event.  3. Then write down two (possible) positive thoughts, for each negative one you have written down.

For example if you were thinking about a cold, dreary winter, you could make up a   more positive picture of an exciting winter activity, like skiing, sledding, or ice-skating, and then another thought of yourself doing something else you enjoy in the winter months, like sitting by a warm fire, or sipping a cup of hot cocoa.

By changing your focus to these new, more positive thoughts, you send a message to your subconscious mind that will begin to change feelings to more positive ones.  Since it is your mind you might as well use it in this positive way.

Of course, this is only the start, there are other techniques available to clear deeply held negative emotions, so that you can recover your zest for life.  Click here to email us directly to get articles, more information about upcoming workshops, e-courses and upcoming free online tele-seminars.

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Learn to “see” things in a different way

Hi, I’m Tish and you will be seeing regular posts from me.  I am a Hypnotherapist at the Anxiety Control Center and I have been helping people get relief from such issues as anxiety, panic, anger and health related stress issues for over 12 years.  I welcome your questions and comments, and look forward to hearing from you.

Our own minds can sometimes be our worst enemy, which is interesting because that is one of the very few things that we actually have control over. We don’t have control over other people’s behavior, the taxes we are charged, the weather and hundreds of other things.  We do have control over our thoughts. I have found that sometimes people get so focused on the negative aspect of situations that they can’t even believe that there may be a positive in it somewhere.  Sometimes people just need a little help, or reframing, to see that positive, And at times, I too, need some.

We recently moved and found that some of our furniture would not fit into our new house. One piece in particular was an expensive piece of furniture. It was well constructed of solid wood and was in excellent condition, so I decided to sell it.

It took a while, but I finally found someone who was interested and sold it.  I knew I was going to get a considerable amount less than I paid, but I didn’t expect to practically give it away.  So while I felt good that it sold, there was a part of me that felt like it should have sold for more money and I felt cheated.

I was telling my son this and he did a beautiful reframe for me. He said “well mom, you had it for15 years, so you really got your money’s worth.”  Once he said that, I felt a wonderful shift occur in my body, I did some quick math and realized that it cost less than a dollar a day to enjoy my beautiful piece of furniture. Less than a morning beverage at the local coffee shop!   And now, some other family is going to continue to reap the benefits of this beautiful piece of furniture.

So a reframe is simply another way of viewing a situation.  Many times people look at a situation and only see the negative aspect.  The meaning of a situation is a result of what each individual decides to focus on.  I was focusing on the loss of money. My son’s reframe actually had me “see” that it was, in fact, a bargain while I owned it.

Think of a recent situation that occurred where you felt a negative emotion and you may find that there are other ways to “look” at it that are actually positive.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on specific issues you send in.

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2 powerful mind calming exercises.

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Continuation for yesterdays post on creating the state of mind your desire.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on specific issues you send in.  To contact me with your questions click here.

Want to begin your journey now,  sign in at the box at the top right  of this page and
claim your 2 powerful mind calming exercises.

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

As I was writing this article I realized that it is important for me to share some more information on the power of using your own mind. So, before I finish with the 7 step formula for life changing mantras, I will give you what I feel are 3 Vital Secrets your need to begin to think about when creating the state of mind you desire.

Secret 1: Thoughts have vibrations, positive thoughts will attract the other positive ones. Negative thoughts will attract more negative ones.

Secret 2: What you persistently hold in your mind will become the reality as it becomes part of the workings of your unconscious mind.

Secret 3: You can tap into the unlimited potential held in the unconscious part of the mind to achieve what you desire.

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Continuation for yesterdays post on creating the state of mind your desire.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on specific issues you send in.  To contact me with your questions click here.

Want to begin your journey now,  sign in at the box at the top right  of this page and
claim your 2 powerful mind calming exercises.

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

Negatives mantras “playing in the back of your mind” can cause you to doubt your own talents or abilities, to feel responsible or guilty for things that are not your fault, and even get in the way in relationships.  The feelings produced by mantras can lead to over-eating, anxiety, procrastination, addiction and depression.  Negative mantras can keep you from achieving your goals and take the joy out of the things you love.

At first it may take awhile to become aware of these negative mantras, but with time and practice, they will begin to emerge. Whenever negative thoughts and images move through your mind they have an effect on your mood. No matter how intelligent, creative or successful you may be these messages cause stress and even self-doubt.  As a hypno-therapist, I see the pain that is caused when people beat themselves up with negative self-talk.  Sometimes we are consciously aware of the harmful messages, but many times thoughts move so quickly that we aren’t even aware we just had a thought.  What we are aware of is tension and stress negative thoughts leave behind.

So what can you do if negative mantras are interfering in your life?  The first step is to recognize your negative mantras. Just start by paying attention when uncomfortable feelings surface.  As you become aware of your feelings, “listen” for the dis-empowering thoughts passing through your mind.

Often, when we have a negative feeling, we’re not even aware of that . . .   continued tomorrow.

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Continuation for yesterdays post on creating the state of mind your desire.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on specific issues you send in.  To contact me with your questions click here.

Want to begin your journey now,  sign in at the box at the top right  of this page and
claim your 2 powerful mind calming exercises.

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

Quite simply, mantras are the things we tell ourselves. For example, on the golf course if you felt annoyed because of a badly played hole, it wouldn’t be a problem if you were able to start fresh on the next hole.  But when one negative thought leads to the next, it can destroy your focus for the rest of the game, and even follow you after you leave the course. In this case you have a negative mantra that is playing havoc with your state of mind.  There are 7 steps you can put into play to stop this disabling habit of negative mantras.

When people think of mantras they usually think about those used in eastern religions for positive spiritual change.  And although you might not have such a fancy name for it, the chances are that you probably use positive mantras yourself, everyday.    A mantra could be what you say to yourself to get psyched up for a big meeting,  a golf tournament or going out to a social event.  Or what you tell yourself in order to stay positive when life is getting you down. When mantras are positive and constructive, they can help us enjoy our lives and achieve our goals.  But the negative things we tell ourselves can also act as mantras, leading us in an undesired direction.

Negatives mantras “playing in the back of your mind” can cause. . .   more to come tomorrow.

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