Anxiety Control Center

Today we will continue discussing ideas that we use at the Anxiety Control Center.  Then tomorrow we will post more tips from Jacob Krueger. So you find two different approaches in the next few days.  Please let me know what you think of adding information in this way.   Is it helpful or confusing by sending me an email, just click on the word here to go to Audrey’s email.

Another favorite technique we use at the Anxiety Control Center,  is a quick change technique used with Neuro-linguistic Programming.  It is  called a “map across”. Where we borrow the positive feelings we want from one memory and put it into the way we’d like to feel “new memory”.

In this technique we use a light trance state to actually shift the positive “I CAN do it” feelings onto the task we were feeling “I can’t.” The “I can’t” feelings are one of the underlying problems that cause procrastination.

Using this technique feels like you are changing the scenery of  your mind  from  unfriendly, cold,  blustery, uncomfortable, scary, and barren, to a place that feels cozy, exciting, fresh and comfortable. And using this skill of the mind, all of a sudden you feel, and see and even hear the words that cause you to want to move forward.  It sometimes seems like you can hardly wait to do what you had been procrastinating about.  It becomes something we really want to move towards.

Now of course, as you might be thinking this can’t work this quickly.  Well in a way you are correct, it is necessary to clear out old negative beliefs, in order for this technique to “stick” and last.  But it is great to get a glimpse of what is possible. And to know that it is possible to get this type of change quickly.  We’ll discuss this more in the teleseminar coming in January 2010.

The mapping across skill is actually easy to learn and will be discussed in the Teleseminar in January, and taught in the home study course that is coming up in the  February.

The interesting thing about procrastination is that at some point you will do task at hand.   What we are doing in the “re-programing the mind to stop procrastination” workshop is speeding up the process.  We want to get your strategy for not doing something, your strategy for “doing” something and then use the “doing it” strategy as one of the techniques to shorten the process from idea to action.

GIFT: Everyone who has sent questions will receive an invitation to our upcoming seminar  “Re-programing the Mind to Stop Procrastination“. For those of you new to teleseminars, this is an online event that you can listen to by phone or on your computer.  It will be given January 2010.  Details will be emailed to you shortly.

Attendees will have the opportunity to interact “live” with Dr Audrey Sussman.

There are two ways to be invited:
1. Sign up by going to the upper right side of this page, put you name and email and click on the “sign in here” tab.  You’ll also receive a powerful yet easy to learn exercise for calming your mind.

2. Send a question to Audrey, the link blue link, takes you to her email address. Just write down your question and your name and email, and send it off.   We’ll look forward to interacting with you “in person”.

Share on Facebook

Before we get into the next post we want to thank you all for your questions. Please keep sending them. They really help us to develop programs that are meaningful.

GIFT: Everyone who has sent questions will receive an invitation our upcoming seminar  “Re-programing the Mind to Stop Procrastination“. For those of you new to teleseminars, this is an online event that you can listen to by phone or on your computer.  It will be given January 2010.  Details will be emailed to you shortly.

Attendees will have the opportunity to interact “live” with Dr Audrey Sussman.

There are two ways to be invited:
1. Sign up by going to the upper right side of this page, put you name and email and click on the “sign in here” tab.  You’ll also receive a powerful yet easy to learn exercise for calming your mind.

2. Send a question to Audrey, the link blue link, takes you to her email address. Just write down your question and your name and email, and send it off.   We’ll look forward to interacting with you “in person”.

Recap of the actions steps:
In the 1st action step you began to look at the thoughts moving through your mind.
In the 2nd action step you began to look “underneath” for patterns.  Many times these patterns were programmed in childhood as coping skills: They are the programs you continue to use in the desire to get relief when turmoil rages within you.
In the 3rd Action Step we began to look at the reasons we avoid, and wrote down the reasons you came up with.

If you look at the things you do, instead of the task at hand, I believe you will notice that some of the things you procrastinate with feel safe.  Others give us a more comfortable feeling, as we moving away from the task.  And some are used to make us feel more in control.

When we choose to do the things we are good at, even though it doesn’t move us forward on the task we are procrastinating about it does put us back into our area of comfort.   And when we are in our area of comfort, we succeed and feel good, which adds to our feelings of security and accomplishment.

One of the skills of moving past procrastination is to harness these “good feelings” so we can access them when needed.  And then we can “borrow” them to use in an area we are less comfortable about. There are a number of ways to do this, one is called anchoring, where we set in a trigger in the unconscious mind that automatically pulls us the positive feelings.  And another favorite technique I like to use I’ll continue talking about tomorrow.

We are still accepting questions for our upcoming teleseminar
on Re-programing the Mind to Stop Procrastination
We will continue posting some ideas in the upcoming weeks.
To send your question just click on the word question it will
take you to Dr. Audrey’s email.
Or just send your name and question to askdraudrey@gmail.com

Share on Facebook

Share on Facebook

I hope you have taken the first and second action steps. Congratulate yourself for taking action. These small steps are already moving you forward in the direction of what you want.  We will continue to use the principle of taking small doable steps, when we get to the setting goals section.

Recap of the actions steps:
In the 1st action step you began to look at the thoughts moving through your mind.

In the 2nd action step you began to look “underneath” for patterns.  Many times these patterns were programmed in childhood as coping skills: They are the programs you continue to use in the desire to get relief when turmoil rages within you.

The are many different ways people procrastinate.  They fall into a number of different categories, yet underlying each of them is a need we are trying to fill.

Look at what you wrote down, see if they are similar to what others have reported doing to avoid the discomfort of doing the task at hand.

• eating  * cooking  * cleaning  * Making phone calls  * Reading email, opening mail  * feeling tired and resting * shopping
• watching TV  * doing other easier projects   * exercising   * Paying bills     *  Other easier tasks   *  care taking others

You might have noticed that there are a number of positive things that people do while avoiding what they say they really want to do.  Sometimes we do accomplish other things that are important, even if the reason they are done is to avoid a more difficult task.  If you take credit for having done something else on this list, then you are using procrastination in a positive way.  But if you are beating yourself up for doing these other things then they lose any value.  Yet, no matter how positive any of these other behaviors may be, eventually we still need a skill to get to what you want to you.

First lets, look at some negative results of procrastination.  Most people who procrastination will feel these, and these negative feelings make it even more difficult to face the task at hand.

anger *   feeling bad about yourself    *   upset   *   ashamed *   discouraged *  worthless
frustrated   *  overwhelmed *  depressed   *  guilty   *   stupid  *   feeling  let down  *  lazy

• And the list goes on and on, creating new self defeating beliefs and programs.
  

You may be wondering if procrastination makes us feel so bad why do we continue to put things off.

Action Step 3: The next step is to look at the reasons you avoid a task you really say you want to do. If you look at your own list you’ll notice that many of the things you do instead of “what you should do” are done to make you feel better or alleviate pain.

By looking at the things we do rather than the project at hand you can get an idea of what you are trying to gain.  When we feel fearful, or begin to doubt ourselves most of us will try to do something to alleviate these feelings.  When a project makes us feel tense, anxious or uncomfortable we will avoid the task.  Unfortunately procrastination increases the feelings of self-doubt and fear.

So take the next step (action step 3)  and write down the reasons you believe you use avoidance types of behaviors.

We’ll talk more about how to use what you learn from this step in the next post.

Share on Facebook

Once again thank you all for sending questions about panic, hypnosis, fear and procrastination. I will continue to answer your questions.  If I haven’t responded to your question yet,  I hope that some of the answers to the other questions have been of use to you.

Another great question came in recently, and it’s on a topic that I will be going into in depth at the teleseminar scheduled January 2010.   Anyone who is on my email list will be sent a link to the introductory online workshop on “Stopping Fear and Procrastination.”

If you’d like to be invited, sign up by going to the upper right side of this page, put you name and email and click on the “sign in here” tab.  You also get the gift of an easy to learn mind calming exercise when you sign up.

The question I’ll start to answer today is:
How can I cause myself to get right to the things that are most important for me to do each morning?  How can I stop procrastinating?

The answer has a number of parts:
In general to stop procrastination we need to know three things.

1. What are the thoughts and feelings running in the back of your mind that create procrastination.
2. How to get underneath to the roots of these thoughts and feelings.
3. How to create NO FAIL Action Steps.

Let’s start with your first action step right now. Answer the following question:

How do you get yourself to “not do what you feel is important”.
a. Think about that for a moment.
b. Write down whatever comes to mind.

You have just taken your first action step in the direction of stopping the old habit of procrastination.  As you can see it is an achievable step.  If you took a pen in hand and wrote something down you have proved your motivation.  This was the “extra credit” part of the action step.

Even if you are just thinking about the answers, you have taken an action, and are on the path.  This was a no fail action step.  OK, now get a pen and a pad and write something down.  This exercise is important, it is just for you, no one else needs to see it.  Please take action now,  just make a decision to do it.

In each exercise I give I am incorporating the steps for moving past stuck in any area of life.  We’ll continue in the next few posts with some more steps so you can put this frustrating habit where it belongs.

We are still accepting questions for our upcoming teleseminar on procrastination and fear.
We have lots of questions we haven’t answered yet,
we will continue posting the answers in the upcoming weeks.
To send your question just click on the word question it will
take you to Audrey’s email.
Put in your name and question
and we hope yours will be one chosen for the upcoming teleseminar.

Share on Facebook

Yesterday we were discussing the difficulty people have in trying to change an negative habit  using the conscious part of the mind.

I received the following question: “So you think a person can’t change using conscious, cognitive thoughts?”

Actually the question sounds more like a belief the person who sent it in holds  (about the way to stop old habits or make changes).

I understand why a person might believe that change needs to be hard work or that if somehow  we try hard enough, change will happen. Perhaps it might be able to be done just by telling ourselves to change,  I haven’t found that to be the case.  And even if it were possible it would take so many repetitions that you would probably stop trying before hitting success.

I’m know many people have experienced the frustration of  trying to change, by telling themselves to do it different, or by repeating a mantra, over and over.

But, rather than talking more about this, let’s just do the following exercise.  Then we’ll discuss more about why I believe that using the “right” part of the mind is vital to making change last.

Well guess we’ll have to wait till tomorrow’s post for the exercise.  I’m part of a challenge to keep my posts shorter, so I’ll see you tomorrow for the exercise.

We are still accepting questions for our upcoming teleseminar on procrastination and fear.  We have lots of questions we haven’t answered yet, and will continue posting the answers in the upcoming weeks.

To send your question
just click on the word question it will take you to Audrey’s email.
Put in your name and question, send it
and we hope yours will be one chosen for the upcoming teleseminar.

If you want your own copy of a
Mind Calming Exercise
go to the box on the upper right of this screen
put you name and email – click on the sign in here tab.
And you will receive our gift of an easy to learn exercise.
Available for a LIMITED time
so, be sure to get it now.

Share on Facebook