Happy New Year

As this new year begins to unfold
my wish is that you find inner peace and serenity.
That your inner desires come true.
And that you take the steps
to go for what is truly important to you in life.

As I was writing this post my phone rang.  It was my wonderful, caring brother calling to wish me a happy New Year, and to say he hoped all my dreams would be fulfilled.

He started talking about setting goals.  This was just what I was writing about.  I told him how interesting it was, that just as I was writing about taking a moment to set goals, he called to make sure I was taking care of setting goals for my own happiness.

So I stopped with what I was writing and decided to share my brother’s words with you.

He said “Audrey, make sure to set goals for what you want this year.”   Because he knows how I typically can become so busy doing my best for the people I care about (my clients, my friends and my family) – he urged me to be sure I set some goals for myself, outside of what goals I enjoy doing for others.  Something for my own happiness and fun.

It is good for my soul to have a brother that looks after me.  Someone reminding me to take care of myself.   He knows how we easily get caught up in all the important parts of life and how we can  forget to do something for our own personal happiness and fulfillment.  He went on to say, ” Audrey, set the goals and do it. ” We only have the time we have, do things now!

It is true life is short  no matter how long you have, it’s still over too quickly.

As many of you know my dad passed away a few months ago.  One of the gifts  my dad left me with was to enjoy life.  He was a man who did things, he lived life to the fullest.  Even in his last years when his health wasn’t as good, he still found things he wanted to do and accomplish.  He never tired of learning something new, even when his mind wasn’t as clear as it used to be.  He accepted it as a part of life, and did what he could, instead of being frustrated that he couldn’t think on the same level he did when younger.

So, I found, even as I was grieving his loss that I remember to cherish the time I have here on this earth.  When you lose someone you love, it can be a time to recognize that now, is the time we have.

I’ve done some soul searching looking into myself to see what I want to add to my life.   I’ve made a decision that for the new year I’m going to do things that will enhance my health.  No matter how busy I might be my goal is to start my day with a simple yoga routine.    I’ve written it down, 10 minutes a day. I can already imagine how keeping this goal will be at the start of next year, with my body limber and healthy.

To enrich my mind, in addition to researching and designing new and better ways of treating panic, stress, fear for my clients, I’m also determined to learn a new language, this is for me.   I’m setting aside 15 minutes a day, I’m dedicating myself to tackle something that hasn’t up to this point been successful for me.

As you can see I’m starting with small amounts of time.  In this way I won’t “talk myself out of it”.   I’m setting my goals so I can’t help but succeed.

So in the new year I send you my love and wish you health, serenity and joy and all the best in your life. Please, write down a few goals for yourself.  Now, while you are thinking of it.  Take some action step.

In light of the new year -  take a moment and think about what you would like to accomplish in this new year.

• Write it down – Be specific about what you want
• Answer the question “How will reaching your goal be for you?”
• Include what will be different in your life once you have accomplished your goal.
• What will you be able to give to others, once you have this goal.

Want to take you first action step of the new year?
Email Audrey for information on setting up
you own private hypnotherapy session.

Or
For information the
Online Coaching Course
that starts again June 2012.

Join with the rest of my students in our
online coaching community.
Get your specific questions answered and
hear what others are working on.

Want to learn how to stay centered and calm?
Begin today by downloading your first FREE “tool”.

Sign in at the top right side of this page.

Then please click here to email Audrey about
either private sessions or the coaching class.
Either way you will learn how
to get your own mind into
a calm, receptive state.

Take action now,  sign up at the right side of this page
for the instructions to 2 exercises.
1. A powerful breathing exercise
to change your state of mind,
2. A second exercise
to help change negative thinking.

So do this now, download
the easy to learn exercises
by signing in at the upper right side of this page.
You will be sent the written instructions as a PDF.

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If you are in the NJ area on Thursday Feb 9, 2012 we would be delighted to have you join us for one or both of our workshops. They will be held in the Moorstown, NJ Boscov’s.  Reservations are required since space is limited.

Please call 856-751-9446 to reserve your space.  We are doing something new and videotaping the workshops, and if all goes well the will be available to view after the workshop.  Send your email and name to askdraudrey@gmail.com if you would like to order a copy.

Hypnosis Quick Cure for Stress
Audrey Sussman, PhD, LCSW, NBCCH
Stressed out?  Experience soothing calm instantly using hypnotic “Quick Cure,” a 60-second method for stress reduction.  This system combines the most effective techniques from Neuro-Linguistic Programming, self-hypnosis and cognitive and behavioral therapy.  An optional book, “Stress Relief in 10 Minutes or Less” will be available.
Thursday, February 9; 7PM-8PM…………………..$10

Parenting Workshop
Audrey Sussman, PhD, LCSW, NBCCH
Children can be the source of the highest pleasure, yet no matter how much you love them, there are times they cause you annoyance, distress, grief and bewildered anguish.  There is a way of dealing with these issues that can lead you back to the warm, caring, peaceful life with your children.  Learn about the techniques of communication to get back the harmony in your family.  Bring your questions and get the answers you are seeking.
#8:  Thursday, February 9; 8PM-9PM…………………..$10

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If you are in the NJ area on Thursday Feb 9, 2012 we would be delighted to have you join Audrey Sussman PhD from the Anxiety Control Center and be a part of the interactive workshops being offered.

Workshop #1: Hypnosis Quick Relief from Stress. 7pm
Workshop #2:  How to talk so your children will LISTEN. 8pm
They both will be held at Moorstown, NJ – Boscov’s.  Reservations are required since space is limited.

Please call 856-751-9446 to reserve your space.  We are doing something new and videotaping the workshops, and if all goes well they will be available to view after the workshop.  Send your email and name to askdraudrey@gmail.com if you would like to order a copy.

Parenting Workshop
Audrey Sussman, PhD, LCSW, NBCCH
Children can be the source of the highest pleasure, yet no matter how much you love them, there are times they cause you annoyance, distress, grief and bewildered anguish.  There is a way of dealing with these issues that can lead you back to the warm, caring, peaceful life with your children.  Learn about the techniques of communication to get back the harmony in your family.  Bring your questions and get the answers you are seeking.
Thursday, February 9; 8PM-9PM…………………..$10

Hypnosis Quick Cure for Stress
Audrey Sussman, PhD, LCSW, NBCCH
Stressed out?  Experience soothing calm instantly using hypnotic “Quick Cure,” a 60-second method for stress reduction.  This system combines the most effective techniques from Neuro-Linguistic Programming, self-hypnosis and cognitive and behavioral therapy.  An optional book, “Stress Relief in 10 Minutes or Less” will be available.
Thursday, February 9; 7PM-8PM…………………..$10

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Tish Schuman LPC, CMH, NCC is one of the outstanding Hypnotherapists at the Anxiety Control Center. She has been helping people in our Cherry Hill, NJ office for over 14 years.  In this post she gives information on hypnosis as she answers 3 questions.

Questions:
1)    A lot of people don’t think that I can be hypnotized.  Is there anything I can do between now and then to make me more hypnotizable?

2)    What happens if people find things out that they didn’t really know about before?  Do they freak out?  Does the hypnotherapist take them out of it or do they walk them through it?

3) If one can’t be hypnotized during the first session, does that mean they can’t be at all, or is it possible that they could be at another time or by someone else?

Client question: # 1.    A lot of people don’t think that I can be hypnotized.  Is there anything I can do between now and then to make me more hypnotizable?

Answers by Tish Schuman LPC, CMH, NCC:
Hypnosis or trance, we use the words interchangeably, occurs naturally. We have all experienced a naturally occurring trance state in our lives whether we are aware of it consciously or not.  For example, have you ever read a book and been so engrossed, that you could really feel what the character was feeling?  Or have you ever gone to the movies and identified so closely with one of the characters that you felt like you were part of the action?  Do you ever daydream?  These are all examples of a trance state. Anyone who is of average intelligence or higher can be hypnotized.  And like any skill we learn, some people may do it quicker than others.

2)    What happens if people find things out that they didn’t really know about before?  Do they freak out?  Does the hypnotherapist take them out of it or do they walk them through it?

Tish Schuman answers:
We use a hypnotic technique called Time Line Therapy. This is a very powerful and effective way to help people to get to the root of their problems and heal it there. When doing Time Line, we have the client “float” above their time line so that they are looking down as opposed to being “in” the problem.  So a good hypnotherapist will keep you out of the situation by keeping you floating above it. You already lived it once so we don’t want you in it again.

Many times the root of the problem occurred at a very young age.  What is no big deal to an adult, may be to a very young child.  So the events don’t necessarily have to be some very traumatic thing.  I have found that most clients are already aware of the very traumatic events that they have experienced.

One thing to remember is that you are always in control.  A hypnotherapist cannot make anyone do anything.  When you are in a trance state you are awake and aware although usually your eyes will be closed.  You are aware of what the hypnotherapist is saying and what you are saying.  If you need a break or want to stop the process, you can.

Client Question #3  If one can’t be hypnotized during the first session, does that mean they can’t be at all, or is it possible that they could be at another time or by someone else?

Tish Schuman responds: As I mentioned earlier, hypnosis is like any skill that we learn.  Some people may be better at it initially and for others may take a little time.  I will say it is very important to feel comfortable with the person that you choose to work with.

Also, when people think about hypnosis, they are typically thinking about they way they have seen it portrayed in the movies or on TV.  The client is sitting in a chair with eyes closed, almost appearing to be asleep while the hypnotist gives suggestions.  This is called classical hypnosis.  Many of the clients that we help come in wanting to get relief from anxiety. For a person who has anxiety, it is not usually easy for them to sit still for classical hypnosis. If someone with anxiety sees a hypnotherapist who only uses classical hypnosis and can’t get into a trance state, it is most likely because they are in an anxious state so simply hearing suggestions of calm will not work.

We mainly use Ericksonian hypnosis and with Ericksonian hypnosis a client does not have to be in a relaxed state to go into trance.  In fact, we can use whatever the client is feeling at the moment to help them get back to the root of the problem.  After this process clients describe feeling calm, relaxed and like a weight has been lifted off of them.

Tish Schuman LPC, CMH, NCC, is a Certified Hypnotherapist who specializes in Time Line Therapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming for the relief of panic and anxiety. She is a member of the American Board of Hypnotherapy, the Time Line Therapy Association, and the American Board of Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Tish has written numerous articles for various publications. As a parent, she has found her skills in Neurolinguists have helped her to create a warm and peaceful environment at home and in her career.

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The following are answers to questions I have received about worry and parenting.

Questions 1. So why are some people more prone to worrying than others?

Have you ever been watching your child at play, feeling love and joy and all of a sudden find your thoughts spinning off into all sorts of worry? Has one worrisome thought ever brought on a terrible cycle of more fearful thoughts?  If this has happened you are not alone.

There are many reasons for the different ways people respond to the world they live in.  An event that hardly creates a ripple in one person’s life can completely distress another person.  People react differently because of deeply rooted emotions and beliefs, which become filters for their perceptions and the way they interpret events.  A person’s past experiences will “color” their current interpretation and reactions to events, sometimes in positive ways, but also in less than helpful ones.  When a person reacts to an event, it is often not just the present day situation they are reacting to, but an entire chain of emotions going back all the way to childhood.

As children, we form beliefs that continue to run into adulthood.  We also develop patterns and coping techniques intended to help us deal with stress or protect us from danger.  Although these patterns and beliefs may serve a positive purpose at the time they were formed, they are no longer useful for the adult.

For example, I had a client who felt that if she didn’t worry something bad would happen.  She had a number of experiences in her very traumatic childhood where she learned that it wasn’t safe to just be, she had to run every possible consequence through her mind to keep her safe from her alcoholic parent. She learned that worry protected her, so that even as an adult, she still found herself consumed with worry.  The circumstances had changed, but the thought pattern hadn’t.  Instead of serving her by protecting her from harm, worry was actually getting in the way of her living her life to the fullest.

Fortunately, through the use of hypnosis, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, time line and vibrational healing my clients have found that they can change these thought patterns at the subconscious root from which they spring.   Adjust the thought pattern, and unnecessary worry disappears.

Question 2. Is worrying ever a good thing?  Some of us are very talented at it!
Sometimes worry is a fleeting feeling of concern.  This is a natural part of being a parent trying to protect your child from harm.  For parents of children who have special needs it is understandable that worry can take on a whole new meaning. The reality is that your child has to overcome additional hardships.  As a parent, you are constantly dealing with the extra stress that comes with wanting to protect your child and at times feeling helpless or unsure what the future will hold.

Let’s look at the positive purpose of worry.  Despite all the negative feelings attached to it, worry can serve a positive function when it prepares you for possible future difficulties.  It can alert you to things that need to be taken care of, or of consequences of certain actions.  Worry can keep you watchful for symptoms that indicate a possible life-threatening problem, or it can motivate you to take positive action to improve the quality of your child’s life.

However, once you have done everything in your power to anticipate and prepare for possible future problems, worry ceases to serve a positive function.   When your thoughts cycle into negative, scary future possibilities about things that are outside of your control, it is time to learn techniques to stop worry from putting another hardship in your life.

3. Got any simple techniques for stopping worry in its tracks?

There are many different techniques that can be used to stop worry and the stress that results from it.  Choosing the most effective one depends on which part of the stress cycle you are in:  the cognitive, physical or the emotional.

Many times the cognitive part of the cycle is where worry begins. It relates to the way you are filtering information, and the stories you are telling yourself based on your perceptions.  The emotional part relates to the subconscious feelings that anchor these perceptions.  One way to think of this is like looking at an event through a stained glass window.  The cognitive part relates to the direction in which you fix your gaze, what you choose to look at, and what you think about it.  The physical/emotional part is the window itself, the specific tint of the stained glass colors that affects everything you see.

Cognitively, the feeling of worry does not come from the event itself.  It comes from the stories we tell ourselves about the event:  both stories about scary possibilities we imagine for the future, and stories about traumatic experiences we remember from the past.

If you want to break the cognitive part of the stress cycle and stop negative thoughts, there is an excellent exercise called the “2 for 1″ technique.  It draws upon the same powerful imagination that you use to create negative stories but instead you use it to create positive thoughts instead.

This technique gives you a potent way to consciously transforming negative thoughts into positive ones.  By practicing it consistently, you cannot only begin to change the cognitive thought cycles that are causing your worry, but also adjusts the unconscious assumptions that keep the cycles alive.

Next time you find yourself spinning into a worry cycle, start by paying attention to the thoughts and stories that are going through your mind, and then do the following:

Step 1: Write down the facts of the event.  What is actually happening right now in the present moment?

Step 2:  Make a list of each thought, picture or story that is triggered by this event.  Stay in a curious state, letting all the negative thoughts come to the surface.  These may be fears that you have for the future, or past traumatic experiences that this event brings back to you.  As you write down these thoughts you will start to realize that no matter how much you might believe the thoughts to be true, they are still just one possible way things might happen.

Once you have a list of the negative thoughts, stories and pictures you are ready for the next step.

Step 3: Cross out the first negative thought you have written down, and write down two possible positive thoughts or possible positive outcomes in its place.  Repeat this for each negative thought on the list, until all your negative thoughts are crossed out and replaced by positive ones.

Most of us are far more used to telling ourselves negative stories than positive ones.  So it may feel a little strange at first to accept these positive thoughts as readily as you did the negative ones.  So at first the “2 for 1″ technique may take some conscious effort.  With practice, you will find that the positive thoughts start to pop up on their own, just as the negative ones once did.  By harnessing the power of the same powerful imagination that created the negative stories, you can create a whole range of positive possibilities, which replace the cycle of worry with one of hope and potential.

4.  I’d love to hear an example of a woman you recently worked with who effectively put one of your techniques to use – a success story, if you will.

Here is an example one parent I worked with. I am sure this story will resonate with all parents.  Her son had recently lost part of his hand in a fireworks accident, and as she watched him struggling to tie his shoe with one hand, she found herself spinning into a terrible worry cycle.

In her imagination, she was moving from the facts of the present moment, to a whole range of terrible thoughts and worries for the future: Will he be able to function in a job?  Will he be accepted?  Will this accident change he cheerful personality? She also found herself remembering traumas from the past—remembering how other people had looked at him in the emergency room, and even thinking about how she’d been teased as a child and worrying that it would be even worse for him.

Fortunately, before she allowed this cycle of worry to overtake her, she remembered the “2 for 1″ exercise.  She started with the facts of the present event.  Her son was struggling to tie his shoe.  She then wrote down all the negative thoughts that were passing through her mind, and replaced them with positive ones.  She thought about the things he did well, his keen mind, his energy, his goofy sense of humor, she imagined him playing with his friends, thought about jobs in which he could be successful, even imagined him graduating from college and getting married.

And as she did so and stopped the cycle of worry, she noticed something that surprised her:  the proud smile on her son’s face as he bounded up to her, his sneakers tied in a perfect knot.

It was then that she realized, at this moment, it wasn’t her son who was struggling.  It was her.

During our sessions together, we built on this realization using a combination of advanced hypnotic, NLP and time-line techniques.  As a result we were able to change this emotional part of the cycle:  the “stained glass” window of worry that was obscuring her perception, by releasing the deep-rooted emotions and adjusting the old thought patterns that were fueling her worry.

5.  What if I really believe that the thoughts I have might come true in the future, is there anything I can do about that?

Both the positive and negative thoughts you create about possible future events are fictional.  The problem with negative thoughts and pictures you create, in your mind, is that even though they possibly will never happen, the unconscious mind nevertheless accepts them as if they are true.  And you react with fear in the present moment to something that hasn’t even happened.

In just the same way, when you create positive thoughts, the unconscious mind also accepts them as true, creating a reaction that opens you to the positive possibilities.

Positive and negative thoughts both spring from the same place: your imagination.  They are simply stories.  You have the power of your own mind. So as long as you make up stories, you might as well choose ones that can serve you in a positive way.

6. What’s your best piece of advice for parents of children with special needs?
Parents of special needs children have many stressors that never even enter the minds of other parents.  In fact, many times it is the parent that suffers more than the child, as they struggle to reconcile their dreams for their child with the struggles of everyday life.  Amazingly, children have a way of taking even the most difficult, frustrating situations in stride. The best thing you can do for your child is what you are already doing, being proud of each accomplishment, celebrating what is unique about your child, and continuing to find and celebrate each wonderful gift.

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I once again would like to share some information on research that is being done with children who are suffering with abdominal pain.  I was so excited to see this research showing positive results using guided imagery for children.

Guided imagery is one form of self-hypnosis that I have found is extremely powerful for children.  I am including the following study for anyone interested in the results.  In the study the children use their imagination to help reduce pain.

For many years the therapists at the Anxiety Control Center  have been using a hypnotic system developed specifically for children.  Visualization is just one of the hypnotic techniques we have found can help with social fears, speaking in public, fear of the dark and other fears, as well as pain.     We have found that children respond  quickly to this hypnotic method, even faster than adults.  Because children are naturally great at using their imaginations this method is very powerful for them.

The following is information about the study. . .

The study states that  “Children can greatly reduce abdominal pain by using their imagination” by Miranda van Tilburg, Ph.D., Denesh K. Chitkara, M.D., William E. Whitehead, Ph.D., Nanette Blois-Martin, and Martin Ulshen, M.D.

Children with functional abdominal pain who used audio recordings of guided imagery at home in addition to standard medical treatment were almost three times as likely to improve their pain problem, compared to children who received standard treatment alone.

And those benefits were maintained six months after treatment ended, a new study by University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and Duke University Medical Center researchers has found.

“What is especially exciting about this study is that children can
clearly reduce their abdominal pain a lot on their own with guidance
from audio recordings, and they get much better results that way than
from medical care alone,” said van Tilburg. “Such self-administered
treatment is, of course, very inexpensive and can be used in addition to
other treatments, which potentially opens the door for easily enhancing
treatment outcomes for a lot of children suffering from frequent stomach
aches.”

The study focused on functional abdominal pain, defined as persistent
pain with no identifiable underlying disease that interferes with
activities. It is very common, affecting up to 20 percent of children.
Prior studies have found that behavioral therapy and guided imagery (a
treatment method similar to self-hypnosis) are effective, when combined
with regular medical care, to reduce pain and improve quality of life.
But for many children behavioral therapy is not available because it is
costly, takes a lot of time and requires a highly trained therapist.

For this study, 34 children ages 6 to 15 years old who had been
diagnosed with functional abdominal pain by a physician were recruited
to participate by pediatric gastroenterologists at UNC Hospitals and
Duke University Medical Center. All received standard medical care and
19 were randomized to receive eight weeks of guided imagery treatment.

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