Anxiety Control Center

The problem with just saying how wonderful you are, or that everything will be all right is that unless the belief is changed they don’t ring true.  For instance if a person has a belief that they can’t do things “right,” no matter how many statements to the contrary, the belief doesn’t change.

Therefore the place to make the change needs to be at the root, where the “belief” was formed.   It is possible to re-program the mind by using self-hypnotic techniques.

When I worked with Sandi, we went back to age 4.  She was living with her aunt and older cousins and was told repeatedly that she didn’t do things right.  She could still remember the embarrassment she felt.

As she looked at this early event she was able to see things with the perspective of a young adult.  She realized her cousin was angry at having her live with them and was just acting out.  It really wasn’t about Sandi’s ability at all.  We did some re-programming around the event and Sandi felt like a weight was lifted off of her.

The key to having positive self-talk work is to first change the limiting belief. Now when Sandi uses positive self-talk, it feels true and enhances her new found feelings of worth.

You can start the process of re-programming your mind
with an easy to learn exercise.
Go to  the upper right side of this screen sign in
and you’ll receive your 1st mind calming exercise.
It will be sent to you as a PDF.

If you’d rather watch a video explaining this mind calming exercise, after you sign in on the right,  go to actionendsprocrastination to watch the video.

While you are there please sign up for our online coaching course
starting in May 2010.
Looking forward to meeting you when you join this online coaching group

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Unhappy With Your Life? It Could Be Negative Mantras.

Dr. Audrey talks about Negative Mantras

Have you ever doubted yourself or been hesitant to speak out when others have ideas in conflict with yours? Have you ever procrastinated because you were afraid you just couldn’t do something perfect enough?  Have you ever wondered why people who are less talented, attractive or intelligent than you are seem to feel so much better about themselves than you do?

Many intelligent, creative and successful people harbor inner self doubt that would amaze anyone looking in from the outside. As a therapist, I see the pain that is caused when people beat themselves up mentally with negative self-talk. Some of the people who come to see me are already aware of the harmful messages they give themselves.  But others send themselves these messages unconsciously, replaying them over and over without even being aware of them. I call these harmful messages “negative mantras”.

For a long time, eastern religions have known the power of mantras. These are powerful phrases, repeated over and over, in order to bring about a positive spiritual change. And though you might not have such a fancy name for it, the chances are that you probably use mantras everyday.  Quite simply, mantras are the things we tell ourselves.  A mantra could be what you say to yourself to get psyched up for a big meeting.  Or what you tell yourself to stay positive when life is getting you down. When mantras are positive and constructive, they can help us enjoy our lives and achieve our goals.  But the negative things we tell ourselves can also act as mantras, and can have a profound effect on our lives.

Negatives mantras can cause you to feel responsibility and guilt for things that are not your fault, hamper your ability to get along in relationships, or cause you to doubt your own talents or abilities. These feelings can lead to over-eating, anxiety, procrastination, addiction and depression.  Negative mantras can keep you from achieving your goals and take the joy out of the things you love.

So what can you do if negative mantras are interfering in your life? Read the rest of this entry »

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STEPS FOR TRANSFORMING SADNESS TO HOPE

Audrey Sussman PhD, LCSW, NBCCH, Director Anxiety Control Center

Has the thought of summer ending triggered feelings of loss or sadness?  If so you are not alone.  At different times of the year the Anxiety Control Center gets inundated with phone calls from people suffering from melancholy, loneliness, sadness or anxiety.

Would you like instantly transform uncomfortable feelings to ones of excitement, hope, calm, security and balance?

It may surprise you to learn that the let down feelings are actually not due to the change of season.  It is actually caused by thoughts, pictures and memories that move quickly through the mind.  Some people are aware of these thoughts, and others are completely unaware, but just know that they feel “down” or depressed.

For example with the ending of summer, many people who feel let down have thoughts of a cold, dark, lonely winter approaching.  Others are sad because they haven’t done all they expected to during the summer.  These feelings then trigger other old memories of sadness or disappointment that adds to the negative feelings.

The good news is that there are many ways to quickly change feelings and gain a new perspective.  To begin the process of transforming negative feelings to positive ones it’s important to understand how these feelings come about in the first place.  There are two major ways that upset feelings are created: 1) Thinking about upsetting past issues or 2) Thinking about awful things that might happen in the future, and worrying about them as if they have already taken place.  When a person concentrates on all the possible negative scenarios that might come about, it is understandable that feelings of sadness, fear or insecurity arise.

The first easy method in taking back control of your feelings is to begin to recognize the thoughts underlying them, and then to change them to more enhancing, positive thoughts.  Do the following: 1. Think about an event that has been causing sadness, anger or another uncomfortable feeling.  2. Make a list of each negative thought that you have attached to this event.  3. Then write down two (possible) positive thoughts, for each negative one you have written down.

For example if you were thinking about a cold, dreary winter, you could make up a   more positive picture of an exciting winter activity, like skiing, sledding, or ice-skating, and then another thought of yourself doing something else you enjoy in the winter months, like sitting by a warm fire, or sipping a cup of hot cocoa.

By changing your focus to these new, more positive thoughts, you send a message to your subconscious mind that will begin to change feelings to more positive ones.  Since it is your mind you might as well use it in this positive way.

Of course, this is only the start, there are other techniques available to clear deeply held negative emotions, so that you can recover your zest for life.  Click here to email us directly to get articles, more information about upcoming workshops, e-courses and upcoming free online tele-seminars.

To claim your own copy of 2 powerful mind calming exercises.
Sign in at the box at the top right of this page

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Our newest hypno-counselor Lisa Kilburg will be doing a series of posts about hypnosis, trance and hypno-counseling.  We hope you enjoy her answers and that you’ll write in with questions of your own.

She will have openings in her schedule for new clients in September.  Please send your questions to our email at, anxietycontrol@comcast.net.  Questions can be about panic, fear, grief, anger or anything else on your mind.  She will also post about techniques she will be teaching to her  clients.

To get your first 2 stress relief exercises,
sign in on the box at the top right of this page
and the link to download them will be sent to you.

The first question Lisa will  answer tomorrow is “What is Hypnosis?”

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Tish Schuman is one of the hypno-therapists at the Anxiety Control Center.  She has been helping people get relief from stress for over 12 years.  The following are some of her thoughts on staying in the present moment to get back into control of emotions.

The other day while driving I saw a sign that read “Don’t use your today thinking about yesterday.”  If I had written that, I would have added … or tomorrow.  So many times that is the cause of anxiety for people.  Instead of living in the present moment, they are spending time recalling situations from the past that caused stress or didn’t turn out the way that they had hoped.  Or, they are creating negative situations out in the future – what if’ing – about events that haven’t even happened yet!

If you take a moment right now to stop and think about how much time in a day you spend thinking about the past or future, you may be surprised at what you discover.  There have even been studies done on exactly this.  One study found that people spend 58 out of 60 minutes either thinking about the past or thinking about the future.

Next time you are feeling stressed, stop and take notice of what you were thinking about or saying to yourself right before your body started feeling stressed. If you found you were thinking about some past or future event, is it something that you have any control over or is it out of your hands?  By doing this simple exercise, you may begin to realize that you have more control over how you feel than you realized.

For two very powerful exercises on using your own mind to relieve stress enter you name and email in the box on the right.

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After the death of my very favorite and loved uncle just 2 weeks ago I found myself thinking, and grieving and sobbing and then . . .  beginning to move towards healing.  And it went back and forth between terrible pain of loss to uplifting feeling of connection.   I’ve decided to talk about my own process from raging at this loss to moving back towards my beliefs that energy doesn’t end.  I truly believe that even when the physical body is no longer here on this earth, the energy that makes each and every one of us up continues.  It is an amazing concept thinking of an energy that lies within being able to change into whatever it wants, once it is freed from the human form.   Imagine being able to experience the feeling of flying like a bird and in another instant becoming a tree, or being a part of a vast ocean.  Sometimes I think that our dreams give us a taste of what the freedom of being energy will be like,  soaring one moment being someone else the next.

I usually do not share my personal sadness, I usually am busy helping others with theirs, but in this case I felt that by sharing some of my thoughts and emotions, it might in some way be helpful to others listening.  This is a new thing for me to share and I hope that you will be kind in your responses, whether you agree with my thoughts or have ones that are different.  If you would like to share with me your own thoughts I would be interested in hearing them.

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