Anxiety Control Center

Want to be invited to the Conquer Procrastination TeleSeminar?

We are getting closer to the fr.ee teleseminar on  ways to re-programing the Mind to Stop Procrastination .“  If you would like to Conquer Procrastination and Fear this year, sign up to get an invitation to this powerful teleSeminar.

GIFT: Everyone who has sent questions will receive an invitation to our upcoming seminar “Stop Procrastination a program for Creative, Intelligent People Who Get Stuck.”

For those of you new to teleseminars, this is an online event that you can listen to by phone or on your computer.  It will be given January 28, 2010 at 9:15 pm. Attendees will have the opportunity to interact “live” with Dr Audrey Sussman.

Details will be emailed to you shortly if you are on the invite list.

There are two ways to be invited:
1. Sign up by going to the upper right side of this page, put you name and email and click on the “sign in here” tab.  You’ll also receive a powerful yet easy to learn exercise for calming your mind.

2. Send a question to Audrey, the colored link, takes you to her email address. Just write down your question and your name and email, and send it off.   We’ll look forward to interacting with you “in person”.

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Unhappy With Your Life? It Could Be Negative Mantras.

Dr. Audrey talks about Negative Mantras

Have you ever doubted yourself or been hesitant to speak out when others have ideas in conflict with yours? Have you ever procrastinated because you were afraid you just couldn’t do something perfect enough?  Have you ever wondered why people who are less talented, attractive or intelligent than you are seem to feel so much better about themselves than you do?

Many intelligent, creative and successful people harbor inner self doubt that would amaze anyone looking in from the outside. As a therapist, I see the pain that is caused when people beat themselves up mentally with negative self-talk. Some of the people who come to see me are already aware of the harmful messages they give themselves.  But others send themselves these messages unconsciously, replaying them over and over without even being aware of them. I call these harmful messages “negative mantras”.

For a long time, eastern religions have known the power of mantras. These are powerful phrases, repeated over and over, in order to bring about a positive spiritual change. And though you might not have such a fancy name for it, the chances are that you probably use mantras everyday.  Quite simply, mantras are the things we tell ourselves.  A mantra could be what you say to yourself to get psyched up for a big meeting.  Or what you tell yourself to stay positive when life is getting you down. When mantras are positive and constructive, they can help us enjoy our lives and achieve our goals.  But the negative things we tell ourselves can also act as mantras, and can have a profound effect on our lives.

Negatives mantras can cause you to feel responsibility and guilt for things that are not your fault, hamper your ability to get along in relationships, or cause you to doubt your own talents or abilities. These feelings can lead to over-eating, anxiety, procrastination, addiction and depression.  Negative mantras can keep you from achieving your goals and take the joy out of the things you love.

So what can you do if negative mantras are interfering in your life? Read the rest of this entry »

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Sign in at the box at the top right of this page
and claim your gift of 2 powerful mind calming exercises.

This week as I was working on my online course to help people who are suffering with sleep problems, I came across some information that was really distressing.  While doing some research, I came across a popular self-help book about curing sleep problems and it said in essence, if the exercises (they gave) did not work it’s because the reader was not doing them correctly.    Seems to me like that was putting more stress on people who were trying to get help.  So many people who can’t sleep are already blaming themselves, they don’t need something else to feel bad about.

I want to dispute this disturbing information, I felt like calling the author and saying how dare you say that if the person reading the book wasn’t getting relief, it was because they weren’t doing it right. Wow, talk about putting the blame in the wrong place, saying that somehow it was the readers fault, and couldn’t possibly be the fault of the information in the book or some other reason.   That just burned me up.

Although I do agree that sometimes, what an author is writing and what the reader is “hearing” may not match, but blaming the reader is hardly fair.

After over 25 years helping people with insomnia, panic, anxiety and even Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Migraines, I have found most people will do almost anything to  get rid of the problem they are facing.   So I’m going to believe that a person who buys a book to get help with getting a good night sleep is going to do the exercises and will read in an open-minded state.

I hope that this type of blame has not happened in your life.  If you have been beating yourself up, or if you have been feeling like you’ve done your best without results, it may be possible that the problem isn’t that you’re doing things incorrectly.  It might be that either the book isn’t right for you or that there are underlying issues that need to be resolved before the exercises will work for you.

I have seen this happen in my own practice.  I just finished 10 sessions of therapy with a client who came in to see me after suffering with 15 years of sleep problems. He had tried just about everything and still, as soon as his head hit the pillow, no matter how tired he was, it seemed like his eyes would just pop open and he wouldn’t be able to sleep until the wee hours of the morning.  We started with some of the “sleep” exercises that have worked for many of my clients, but in addition we began to look for underlying roots of this problem.  I can assure you I didn’t blame him, we searched for, and the found the underlying issues.  And low-and-behold, after releasing some old stuffed emotions we were able to quickly re-program his sleep habits.  He felt his entire life changed, in just 10 sessions.  Although it was his sleep issues that caused him to seek my help,he also got major benefits from taking care of the issues lying at the root  of the problem.  The benefits of new found confidence extended  out into other areas of his life as well.

Everyone works in their own optimal time frame, what can take one person 10 sessions might take another person only 4, or another 20 sessions.  The number of sessions it takes is determined by not only how deeply rooted the problem is but also by each person nature.  It’s not a competition, when the change happen it can feels like it took place in an instant.   The fact that lasting relief is possible should give you new hope. So if you are still having a problem with sleep, it just might be that are other issues keeping you from succeeding in your quest.

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Continuation for yesterdays post on creating the state of mind your desire.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on specific issues you send in.  To contact me with your questions click here.

Want to begin your journey now,  sign in at the box at the top right  of this page and
claim your 2 powerful mind calming exercises.

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

Quite simply, mantras are the things we tell ourselves. For example, on the golf course if you felt annoyed because of a badly played hole, it wouldn’t be a problem if you were able to start fresh on the next hole.  But when one negative thought leads to the next, it can destroy your focus for the rest of the game, and even follow you after you leave the course. In this case you have a negative mantra that is playing havoc with your state of mind.  There are 7 steps you can put into play to stop this disabling habit of negative mantras.

When people think of mantras they usually think about those used in eastern religions for positive spiritual change.  And although you might not have such a fancy name for it, the chances are that you probably use positive mantras yourself, everyday.    A mantra could be what you say to yourself to get psyched up for a big meeting,  a golf tournament or going out to a social event.  Or what you tell yourself in order to stay positive when life is getting you down. When mantras are positive and constructive, they can help us enjoy our lives and achieve our goals.  But the negative things we tell ourselves can also act as mantras, leading us in an undesired direction.

Negatives mantras “playing in the back of your mind” can cause. . .   more to come tomorrow.

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Today I will start the first of 5 posts about ways of creating an optimal state of mind, for learning, growing and moving through problems.  I will be using the game of golf as one example of where people find negative “mantras” interfering with the enjoyment of the game.  But negative mantras can get in the way in relationships,  when speaking in public, going to the doctor, taking a test, flying and even going on vacation.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on specific issues you send in.  To contact me with your questions click here.

Please sign in at the box at the top right  of this page to claim your 2 powerful mind calming exercises.

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

Many golfers go to the golf course looking forward to a way to hone their skills and as a break from the pressures of work and life.  Unfortunately, many times life stress can tag along like an unwanted guest, turning what would normally be an enjoyable experience into a draining one.

Stress is actually created by they way we think. I call the harmful thoughts and messages that “take us down” negative mantras.   Negative mantras can ruin your focus, and can create a state of mind that gets in the way of optimum performance. Even when you aren’t aware of that little inner voice running in the back of your mind, you will know there is a negative mantra running, when you feel stress and tension in your body or mind.

For example . . .     more tomorrow.

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After the death of my very favorite and loved uncle just 2 weeks ago I found myself thinking, and grieving and sobbing and then . . .  beginning to move towards healing.  And it went back and forth between terrible pain of loss to uplifting feeling of connection.   I’ve decided to talk about my own process from raging at this loss to moving back towards my beliefs that energy doesn’t end.  I truly believe that even when the physical body is no longer here on this earth, the energy that makes each and every one of us up continues.  It is an amazing concept thinking of an energy that lies within being able to change into whatever it wants, once it is freed from the human form.   Imagine being able to experience the feeling of flying like a bird and in another instant becoming a tree, or being a part of a vast ocean.  Sometimes I think that our dreams give us a taste of what the freedom of being energy will be like,  soaring one moment being someone else the next.

I usually do not share my personal sadness, I usually am busy helping others with theirs, but in this case I felt that by sharing some of my thoughts and emotions, it might in some way be helpful to others listening.  This is a new thing for me to share and I hope that you will be kind in your responses, whether you agree with my thoughts or have ones that are different.  If you would like to share with me your own thoughts I would be interested in hearing them.

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