Anxiety Control Center

Continuation for yesterdays post on creating the state of mind your desire.

I welcome your feedback and questions, and will write more on specific issues you send in.  To contact me with your questions click here.

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claim your 2 powerful mind calming exercises.

The formula for Life Changing Mantras

Quite simply, mantras are the things we tell ourselves. For example, on the golf course if you felt annoyed because of a badly played hole, it wouldn’t be a problem if you were able to start fresh on the next hole.  But when one negative thought leads to the next, it can destroy your focus for the rest of the game, and even follow you after you leave the course. In this case you have a negative mantra that is playing havoc with your state of mind.  There are 7 steps you can put into play to stop this disabling habit of negative mantras.

When people think of mantras they usually think about those used in eastern religions for positive spiritual change.  And although you might not have such a fancy name for it, the chances are that you probably use positive mantras yourself, everyday.    A mantra could be what you say to yourself to get psyched up for a big meeting,  a golf tournament or going out to a social event.  Or what you tell yourself in order to stay positive when life is getting you down. When mantras are positive and constructive, they can help us enjoy our lives and achieve our goals.  But the negative things we tell ourselves can also act as mantras, leading us in an undesired direction.

Negatives mantras “playing in the back of your mind” can cause. . .   more to come tomorrow.

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Detailed Directions for the  “2 For 1 Exercise”

To  stop stress and anxiety caused by thoughts of events that haven’t even happened yet, use this really powerful   technique.   Yes, it is true that this exercise will take a bit of work in the beginning, but with practice you will find it becomes an automatic habit.

OVERVIEW:
Step 1:  Make a list of any negative thoughts that go through your mind.  Use just one situation or event.

Step 2:  To help yourself to create enhancing thoughts, think about other possible “stories” about what might happen in the future.  Create 2 positive “stories” for each negative “story” you had created.

Step 3: Using the new positive thoughts will help you to  change the habit of negative thinking.

Full Directions for The “2 for 1″ exercise:

1. Write down any negative thoughts you have going through your mind, about a situation.  Write down any thought or “story” that causes stress or leads to other uncomfortable emotions.

It is important to write down the thoughts and images.  By putting them down on paper  you don’t have to keep going over them in your mind.  In a few moments you will begin to think of other possible outcomes that could also be possible.

2.  After identifying a negative thoughts or stories -  STOP -  and focus on the feelings they produce.  As you become aware of emotions notice where the feeling is “held” in your body.  Make a note of what words or images go with the thoughts or feelings.

3.  Sometimes a negative “story” or thought goes through the mind so quickly, that at first you might not even conscious of it.  Sometimes you will notice the physical reaction before even realizing there was a thought.  So take a moment to search for these thoughts, and the physical reaction to them.   If there is trouble finding the thought, just go back in your mind, to the event causing upset.  Then, go to the moment just before the emotion was felt, and let you unconscious mind bring to the surface any images, sounds or memories.

Being curious is the best state to be in to bring thoughts and images into awareness.  Write down the thoughts, negative “stories” or images that move through your mind.

Negative thoughts can create a vicious cycle as more negative thoughts pop up to support the first one.  This creates unnecessary anguish and stress.  People can create many negative thoughts in just an instant.  By recognizing a thought, it becomes possible to stop, and correct the negative thought process.

4.  When you feel a bodily reaction, such as tightness, pain in the stomach, head, chest, etc. ask yourself: What are you saying in your mind?  Remember there is always a trigger for bodily reactions.

5.  As you become aware of any negative statements answer the following questions
a.  For one day, pay attention to how many negative thoughts you create.
b. How often in a day do you have negative comments flowing through your mind?
c.  Would you talk to your best friend this way?  Would they still be your best friend ?
d. Is there a benefit that comes from speaking to yourself in this negative way?  What do you gain?
e.  What is the negative result of thinking in this way?
f.  If you believe there is a benefit, can this benefit be gained in a different, more self-enhancing way?

6.  Create 2 positive believable possibilities for every negative thought.

7.  Every time a negative thought moves through your mind, replace it with two positive ones.
a.  The positives need to be something that is believable.  For instance, saying “I’ll handle it” is a positive statement that is believable, since we do handle things that come our way.
b.  It will not help to say, “everything is OK” if you do not truly feel this way, for then it is not a believable, positive statement.

8.  Whenever you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, use the power of your own mind in a productive way.  Think of A BIG RED STOP SIGN, and hear the word “STOP,” shouted out in your mind.  Then, say two of the positive thoughts that you have written down to replace each old negative one.

REMINDERS: ‘2 for 1” EXERCISE
a.  Changing negative thoughts to positive ones is done at the conscious level at first. Eventually the habit of changing negative thoughts into positives ones happens automatically, almost without any thought.

b.  The positives need to be believable.

c. It takes time to change any habit.  Just as an athlete practices to be good at his sport, this technique takes practice as well.

d.  Practice this for three weeks, and be amazed at how automatic this positive habit becomes.

e.  Over time the “2 for 1 technique” creates more self-acceptance, calm and confidence.

Next week we will discuss another way to use your mind to stop negative thinking.  If you would like a head start, add the following to your exercise.  You might find your answers in the next exercise to be interesting, since you are beginning to look at the smaller elements that make up thoughts and images.    I will discuss what to do with the answers in my post next week on using advanced  NLP techniques for stress relief.

Exercise for Next week.  After becoming aware of the thoughts underling uncomfortable feelings, answer the following questions:
a.  Is the image in color or black and white?
b.  Is any one else is in the picture? What is their expression?
c.  What effect does their expression have on your feeling?
d. Is anything smaller or larger than life, or is everything life size?
e.  Is there any sound in the picture?”
f.  Is it a snap shot or a moving picture?
g.  Is the image bright or dim?  Is it in focus or out of focus?

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Sorry for the delay in this post. Some family issues came up.  Luckily my family members are familiar with many of  the stress relief exercises I teach and they told me how much it helped to have them ready to  use in their “stress relief tool box.”  Happily things are fine with my family now.

There are many ways to reduce stress.  In the  following exercise we will be changing negative  thoughts and images to change the anxiety/stress  cycle.    By making changes using the conscious part of your mind,  you can begin to re-program your reactions.   The beauty of this exercise is that it can help change old patterns of thinking, without your having to do deep change work on the unconscious level.  The down part is that it does take work to change a habit on the conscious level, but you will find it is well worth your time.

The exercise I am describing today stops the stress cycle at the cognitive level  by changing scary  “thoughts”  into equally possible images that will serve to create calm instead of fear.  There are other exercises to release anxiety at the physical and emotional part of the stress cycle which use hypnotic techniques to get to unconscious information at the root of the problem.

It is important to understand that your own thoughts create physical reactions.  Even a quick thought can generate a physical reaction in the body.  For example, when you  imagine biting into a lemon your body creates a puckering in your mouth as you “taste” the lemon.  Your thoughts touch off and trigger a physical reaction.  Although there wasn’t a “real” lemon, the reaction was the same “as if” there was.  If one never had tasted a lemon, there would be no reaction..

Thinking about someone you love will create a very different reaction or vibration in the body than thinking of a situation that caused upset.    What you think has an impact on the “vibrations” that go through your  body.

Therefore the way you use your mind can lead to positive vibrations, which lead to feelings of happiness, joy and contentment.   Or to uncomfortable vibrations which lead to feelings of anger, upset, hurt or anxiety.

Use this exercise to change thought patterns.  Whenever an old unwanted thought pops up,  change it to a more positive image and then  “steps into” the new desired image, as if it were real.  You are already good at this if you have created anxiety using your thoughts, we are just using your thoughts in a way that will work better for your health and well begin.    The more you use this technique (by stepping into the positive image)  the more power the image will feel.

Using your imagination to “be in the positive future image” works in a number of ways.  It not only changes the negative image – it also actually begins to creates a new “memory.”  The mind stores the new image, as if it had already happened.  For this type of technique to be effective, the new positive image needs to be just as strong as the old “scary” image.  There are  hypnotic ways of creating powerful images that you can also learn,  they will be more powerful and work more quickly than just using the conscious part of your mind,  but this is a good place to start.

In my next post I will give a detailed worksheet for using this method of changing negative thought to positive ones.  It is called the “2 for 1 Exercise” because you will need to create 2 positive thoughts for each negative you.

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Question:  Are there different techniques that can be used to get relief from worry?
There are many different ways to stop negative thoughts that results in  stress and worry.  We can break the stress cycle in three different areas.  There are techniques that work on the thought or cognitive part of the worry cycle.  I will give an example of something you can put to use right away for this part of the worry cycle.

There are also techniques that are easy to learn for the physical part (that includes the reactions of your body).  One technique is designed to change the breathing pattern and is called the HAAA breath.

And there are very advanced techniques that be used on emotional part of the cycle.  These usually involve the help of someone trained in techniques of hypnotherapy, time line and vibrational healing.  These techniques go to the root of where reactions come from and heal them there.  After doing this type of work people say that is feels like a weight is lifted off of them

The technique I will share today breaks the worry cycle by changing thoughts that create stress.

The secret to getting relief from worry.
You have a special gift inside of your own mind, just waiting to be opened.  It is one you can learn to use to stay in control of your state of mind, no matter what is going on around you.

This secret is what Viktor Frankl used, that allowed him to survive the holocaust and maintain his mental balance.   It is what author Napoleon Hill weaves into his famous advice on achieving financial success in “Think and Grow Rich.” And it is something that you have within yourself right now, like a gift, all wrapped up waiting for you to unwrap and put into immediate use.

Anyone can learn to use this gift.  And the really amazing thing about this gift is that it never gets used up. The more you use it the more powerful it becomes.

There are 2 things you need to open and use this wonderful gift to control your emotional state at will.  The first is an understanding of how the mind works, both on the conscious and unconscious level. And the second is the step-by-step method of creating what you want in your life, instead of what you don’t want.

To understand the way your mind works, it’s important to know the two major ways that people create negative, uncomfortable feelings.

1) Thinking about upsetting past events.
2) Thinking about awful things that might happen in the future

When you concentrate on all the possible negative scenarios that have happened in the past or might come about in the future, the thoughts, pictures and memories that move through your mind trigger feelings of worry, sadness, overwhelm, fear and insecurity. Thoughts can even create pain in the body. Sometimes you are aware of the thoughts, and at other times you are completely unaware.

The good news is that you can get relief from even the most painful feelings by learning to change thought patterns that bring them about.   More on this in my post tomorrow

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Changing the Breathing Pattern

The calming “HA” Breath for relaxation and beginning self-hypnosis

START with the calming  “HAAA BREATH.”
It is the easiest way to begin changing the stress response.

The calming HAAA Breath is the beginning step in the process of
gaining relaxation when you want it.

It is one of the easiest skills to use.  The only effort required
is to learn proper breathing patterns.

This new pattern changes the message in the brain from,
send more adrenaline to things are safe, no more adrenaline is needed.

This breath leads to a settling down feeling in the body
as the body again seeks balance.

DIRECTIONS: HAAA Breath, the 60 Second Instant Relaxer

1.  Start this exercise with a short 2-second inhalation.

2.  Hold your breath for the count of 4.

3. Next you exhale with your mouth open, making a soft “HAAAA” sound for the count of at least eight seconds. The longer you exhale, the better this exercise will work for you.

An important part of this exercise, is to
make a sound like you are saying a soft “HAAAA”

4.  When you have released as much breath as you think you can, push out a little bit more.

5.  Then, inhale gently for the count of 6 to 8.

6.  Hold for the count of 4.

7.  Continue with step #3 (exhale).

8.  Repeat two more times.

A complete breath consists of three full repetitions
that are done at least 3 times a day:
1.  Upon arising
2.  At lunchtime
3. When going to sleep
4.  In addition, do the HAAA breath in times of stress

This exercise is an excerpt from the book
Power of Thought – Untold Secrets of the Unconscious Mind.
by Dr. Audrey Sussman

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HOW TO CHOOSE A THERAPIST

There are many therapists and many specialties. So many in fact, that it might seem a daunting task to choose one.  To make this important task easier, follow these simple steps.

1.  Seek a person who specializes in the issue you are dealing with.   If you have anxiety, panic attacks,  have a fear of flying, speaking in public or of going over a bridge and driving, you want to find a therapist  who specializes in the treatment of Anxiety Attacks and Phobias.

2.  There are many different techniques and types of therapy available.   Ask the therapist questions about which ones they feel most comfortable using.  These are some of the therapies you can start asking about. Cognitive/Behavioral techniques, which are useful for beginning to change patterns using a change in the way you process information and creating new behaviors.  Some therapist still use talk therapy, this is helpful to gain insight but the drawback is that it can take many, many years to get results. Some therapists use Classical Hypnosis, which is great for relaxation.  Others use Ericksonian hypnosis and NLP, which speeds up the therapeutic process by getting to the root of whatever challenge you are facing. I believe a combination approach such as the Transformation System enables the therapist to use the best techniques from each modality. You have the right to know what issues the therapist specializes in as well as the techniques they use.

3.  Ask for an idea of how long it will take for you to start to feel a change. And how the sessions are set up.  For example I start my clients with weekly sessions, then at the 4th session we move to every other week and then as symptoms are changing we move to monthly, then every 3 months and then as needed.

It is important to have a rough indication of how long it will take for you to notice results.  I do not believe that any therapist can tell you exactly how many sessions it will take to reach goals.   Since most of my referrals are through “word of mouth”  I explain that we work as quickly as possilbe to get results.  The unconscious part of the mind can create major changes for you in an instant, once the root of the problem is cleared.

In general most of my clients tell me that they feel new hope within their first session, and that they start to experience a change within the first 4 sessions. Many get total relief of symptoms within 10 sessions.  Although for some it may take more sessions to reach the goals. As a person feels better the sessions are spaced further and further apart, so the unconscious has time to continue the changes between sessions.

4.  What should you expect before setting the appointment?

Talk to the therapist on the phone before you set your first appointment. You’ll know when you have found someone you will feel comfortable talking with when the therapist patiently explains their system to you, and you feel respected from the first phone call.  Remember,  sometimes therapist get very busy seeing clients, so be patient and call at different times of the day to reach them in person.

Your have a right to  be told what to expect, in a way that you can understand.  If it seems the therapist is caught up in big words and fancy sounding systems ask for explanations. A good therapist will offer at least a 10 minute free telephone consultation.  During this conversation both you and the therapist will get an idea if there is a match, in what you desire and what they can provide.  It is appropriate to ask for any information about the system the therapist uses.  Most importantly you want to feel comfortable talking to the therapist, and they should be patient and friendly. Trust your instincts,  this is important you cannot get better by talking to someone who intimidates you.  But, it is also important to remember that a good therapist is usually a busy one, and may not be able to talk for long periods of time.

5.  I have heard about TeleSeminars, what is that?

A TeleSeminar is a presentation or a workshop.  It can be accessed by getting a link for a number to call by phone, or a link for an internet connection.  The beauty of teleseminars is if you call into the live call, you can ask questions an interact directly with the presenter..  Another benefit of a teleseminar is that the cost is usually a lot lower, because the presenter serves as a coach, rather than a therapist.    Many time a presenter will supply a link for a replay of the call, so you can listen to the replay as many times as you  desire.

I have found that people like our monthly Question & Answer TeleSeminar.  During this 45 minute call people can get a sense of what techniques are available and get questions answered.    To become a member and get the link to the next free TeleSeminar, go to the contact me tab on the right of this page. Click on the “contact me” tab and it will send you to  my personal email.  Once there just put in your email address,  first name and one or two questions.  You will then get the  link to the information about the next call.

6.  Once you find a therapist or coach with whom you are comfortable, schedule an appointment.  I hope you call and schedule with us at the Anxiety Control Center for therapy, hypnosis, coaching or to gain tools for moving past challenges.   By setting an appointment you are making the decision to continue your education, to learn more about using the wonderful asset of your own mind.  There are many therapists out there who can help you.  Don’t suffer with panic attacks, worry, procrastination, anxiety, migraines or IBS for one more minute!  Pick up the phone and call!  Signing off for now Audrey Sussman, director Anxiety Control Center.

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