Anxiety Control Center

Detailed Directions for the  “2 For 1 Exercise”

To  stop stress and anxiety caused by thoughts of events that haven’t even happened yet, use this really powerful   technique.   Yes, it is true that this exercise will take a bit of work in the beginning, but with practice you will find it becomes an automatic habit.

OVERVIEW:
Step 1:  Make a list of any negative thoughts that go through your mind.  Use just one situation or event.

Step 2:  To help yourself to create enhancing thoughts, think about other possible “stories” about what might happen in the future.  Create 2 positive “stories” for each negative “story” you had created.

Step 3: Using the new positive thoughts will help you to  change the habit of negative thinking.

Full Directions for The “2 for 1″ exercise:

1. Write down any negative thoughts you have going through your mind, about a situation.  Write down any thought or “story” that causes stress or leads to other uncomfortable emotions.

It is important to write down the thoughts and images.  By putting them down on paper  you don’t have to keep going over them in your mind.  In a few moments you will begin to think of other possible outcomes that could also be possible.

2.  After identifying a negative thoughts or stories -  STOP -  and focus on the feelings they produce.  As you become aware of emotions notice where the feeling is “held” in your body.  Make a note of what words or images go with the thoughts or feelings.

3.  Sometimes a negative “story” or thought goes through the mind so quickly, that at first you might not even conscious of it.  Sometimes you will notice the physical reaction before even realizing there was a thought.  So take a moment to search for these thoughts, and the physical reaction to them.   If there is trouble finding the thought, just go back in your mind, to the event causing upset.  Then, go to the moment just before the emotion was felt, and let you unconscious mind bring to the surface any images, sounds or memories.

Being curious is the best state to be in to bring thoughts and images into awareness.  Write down the thoughts, negative “stories” or images that move through your mind.

Negative thoughts can create a vicious cycle as more negative thoughts pop up to support the first one.  This creates unnecessary anguish and stress.  People can create many negative thoughts in just an instant.  By recognizing a thought, it becomes possible to stop, and correct the negative thought process.

4.  When you feel a bodily reaction, such as tightness, pain in the stomach, head, chest, etc. ask yourself: What are you saying in your mind?  Remember there is always a trigger for bodily reactions.

5.  As you become aware of any negative statements answer the following questions
a.  For one day, pay attention to how many negative thoughts you create.
b. How often in a day do you have negative comments flowing through your mind?
c.  Would you talk to your best friend this way?  Would they still be your best friend ?
d. Is there a benefit that comes from speaking to yourself in this negative way?  What do you gain?
e.  What is the negative result of thinking in this way?
f.  If you believe there is a benefit, can this benefit be gained in a different, more self-enhancing way?

6.  Create 2 positive believable possibilities for every negative thought.

7.  Every time a negative thought moves through your mind, replace it with two positive ones.
a.  The positives need to be something that is believable.  For instance, saying “I’ll handle it” is a positive statement that is believable, since we do handle things that come our way.
b.  It will not help to say, “everything is OK” if you do not truly feel this way, for then it is not a believable, positive statement.

8.  Whenever you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, use the power of your own mind in a productive way.  Think of A BIG RED STOP SIGN, and hear the word “STOP,” shouted out in your mind.  Then, say two of the positive thoughts that you have written down to replace each old negative one.

REMINDERS: ‘2 for 1” EXERCISE
a.  Changing negative thoughts to positive ones is done at the conscious level at first. Eventually the habit of changing negative thoughts into positives ones happens automatically, almost without any thought.

b.  The positives need to be believable.

c. It takes time to change any habit.  Just as an athlete practices to be good at his sport, this technique takes practice as well.

d.  Practice this for three weeks, and be amazed at how automatic this positive habit becomes.

e.  Over time the “2 for 1 technique” creates more self-acceptance, calm and confidence.

Next week we will discuss another way to use your mind to stop negative thinking.  If you would like a head start, add the following to your exercise.  You might find your answers in the next exercise to be interesting, since you are beginning to look at the smaller elements that make up thoughts and images.    I will discuss what to do with the answers in my post next week on using advanced  NLP techniques for stress relief.

Exercise for Next week.  After becoming aware of the thoughts underling uncomfortable feelings, answer the following questions:
a.  Is the image in color or black and white?
b.  Is any one else is in the picture? What is their expression?
c.  What effect does their expression have on your feeling?
d. Is anything smaller or larger than life, or is everything life size?
e.  Is there any sound in the picture?”
f.  Is it a snap shot or a moving picture?
g.  Is the image bright or dim?  Is it in focus or out of focus?

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I was asked by a parent of a child with disabilities to answer some questions for her to post on her blog that helps parents of children with special  needs.  This post is an excerpt of the answers I gave her.

She wrote this about me: Audrey Sussman, PhD is a nationally recognized seminar leader and author.  Her Transformation System gives the keys to relief from panic, phobias, fear, anger, migraines and Irritable Bowel Syndrome. If you are suffering, you have a better life to gain. For more tips on getting relief from stress visit her website at http://www.anxietycontrolcenter.com

The following  are the Questions and excerpts of the Answers I gave her.

1. So why are some people more prone to worrying than others?

Have you ever been watching your child at play, feeling love and joy and all of a sudden find your thoughts spinning off into all sorts of worry? Has one worrisome thought ever brought on a terrible cycle of more fearful thoughts?  If this has happened you are not alone.

There are many reasons for the different ways people respond to the world they live in.  An event that hardly creates a ripple in one person’s life can completely distress another person.  People react differently because of deeply rooted emotions and beliefs, which become filters for their perceptions and the way they interpret events.  A person’s past experiences will “color” their current interpretation and reactions to events, sometimes in positive ways, but also in less than helpful ones.  When a person reacts to an event, it is often not just the present day situation they are reacting to, but an entire chain of emotions going back all the way to childhood.

As children, we form beliefs that continue to run into adulthood.  We also develop patterns and coping techniques intended to help us deal with stress or protect us from danger.  Although these patterns and beliefs may serve a positive purpose at the time they were formed, they are no longer useful for the adult.

For example, I had a client who felt that if she didn’t worry something bad would happen.  She had a number of experiences in her very traumatic childhood where she learned that it wasn’t safe to just be, she had to run every possible consequence through her mind to keep her safe from her alcoholic parent. She learned that worry protected her, so that even as an adult, she still found herself consumed with worry.  The circumstances had changed, but the thought pattern hadn’t.  Instead of serving her by protecting her from harm, worry was actually getting in the way of her living her life to the fullest.

Fortunately, through the use of hypnosis, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, time line and vibrational healing my clients have found that they can change these thought patterns at the subconscious root from which they spring.   Adjust the thought pattern, and unnecessary worry disappears.

2. Is worrying ever a good thing?  Some of us are very talented at it!
Sometimes worry is a fleeting feeling of concern.  This is a natural part of being a parent trying to protect your child from harm.  For parents of children who have special needs it is understandable that worry can take on a whole new meaning. The reality is that your child has to overcome additional hardships.  As a parent, you are constantly dealing with the extra stress that comes with wanting to protect your child and at times feeling helpless or unsure what the future will hold.

Let’s look at the positive purpose of worry.  Despite all the negative feelings attached to it, worry can serve a positive function when it prepares you for possible future difficulties.  It can alert you to things that need to be taken care of, or of consequences of certain actions.  Worry can keep you watchful for symptoms that indicate a possible life-threatening problem, or it can motivate you to take positive action to improve the quality of your child’s life.

However, once you have done everything in your power to anticipate and prepare for possible future problems, worry ceases to serve a positive function.   When your thoughts cycle into negative, scary future possibilities about things that are outside of your control, it is time to learn techniques to stop worry from putting another hardship in your life.

3. Got any simple techniques for stopping worry in its tracks?

There are many different techniques that can be used to stop worry and the stress that results from it.  Choosing the most effective one depends on which part of the stress cycle you are in:  the cognitive, physical or the emotional.

Many times the cognitive part of the cycle is where worry begins. It relates to the way you are filtering information, and the stories you are telling yourself based on your perceptions.  The emotional part relates to the subconscious feelings that anchor these perceptions.  One way to think of this is like looking at an event through a stained glass window.  The cognitive part relates to the direction in which you fix your gaze, what you choose to look at, and what you think about it.  The physical/emotional part is the window itself, the specific tint of the stained glass colors that affects everything you see.

Cognitively, the feeling of worry does not come from the event itself.  It comes from the stories we tell ourselves about the event:  both stories about scary possibilities we imagine for the future, and stories about traumatic experiences we remember from the past.

If you want to break the cognitive part of the stress cycle and stop negative thoughts, there is an excellent exercise called the “2 for 1″ technique.  It draws upon the same powerful imagination that you use to create negative stories but instead you use it to create positive thoughts instead.

This technique gives you a potent way to consciously transforming negative thoughts into positive ones.  By practicing it consistently, you cannot only begin to change the cognitive thought cycles that are causing your worry, but also adjusts the unconscious assumptions that keep the cycles alive.

Next time you find yourself spinning into a worry cycle, start by paying attention to the thoughts and stories that are going through your mind, and then do the following:

Step 1: Write down the facts of the event.  What is actually happening right now in the present moment?

Step 2:  Make a list of each thought, picture or story that is triggered by this event.  Stay in a curious state, letting all the negative thoughts come to the surface.  These may be fears that you have for the future, or past traumatic experiences that this event brings back to you.  As you write down these thoughts you will start to realize that no matter how much you might believe the thoughts to be true, they are still just one possible way things might happen.

Once you have a list of the negative thoughts, stories and pictures you are ready for the next step.

Step 3: Cross out the first negative thought you have written down, and write down two possible positive thoughts or possible positive outcomes in its place.  Repeat this for each negative thought on the list, until all your negative thoughts are crossed out and replaced by positive ones.

Most of us are far more used to telling ourselves negative stories than positive ones.  So it may feel a little strange at first to accept these positive thoughts as readily as you did the negative ones.  So at first the “2 for 1″ technique may take some conscious effort.  With practice, you will find that the positive thoughts start to pop up on their own, just as the negative ones once did.  By harnessing the power of the same powerful imagination that created the negative stories, you can create a whole range of positive possibilities, which replace the cycle of worry with one of hope and potential.

4.  I’d love to hear an example of a woman you recently worked with who effectively put one of your techniques to use – a success story, if you will.

Here is an example one parent I worked with. I am sure this story will resonate with all parents.  Her son had recently lost part of his hand in a fireworks accident, and as she watched him struggling to tie his shoe with one hand, she found herself spinning into a terrible worry cycle.

In her imagination, she was moving from the facts of the present moment, to a whole range of terrible thoughts and worries for the future: Will he be able to function in a job?  Will he be accepted?  Will this accident change he cheerful personality? She also found herself remembering traumas from the past—remembering how other people had looked at him in the emergency room, and even thinking about how she’d been teased as a child and worrying that it would be even worse for him.

Fortunately, before she allowed this cycle of worry to overtake her, she remembered the “2 for 1″ exercise.  She started with the facts of the present event.  Her son was struggling to tie his shoe.  She then wrote down all the negative thoughts that were passing through her mind, and replaced them with positive ones.  She thought about the things he did well, his keen mind, his energy, his goofy sense of humor, she imagined him playing with his friends, thought about jobs in which he could be successful, even imagined him graduating from college and getting married.

And as she did so and stopped the cycle of worry, she noticed something that surprised her:  the proud smile on her son’s face as he bounded up to her, his sneakers tied in a perfect knot.

It was then that she realized, at this moment, it wasn’t her son who was struggling.  It was her.

During our sessions together, we built on this realization using a combination of advanced hypnotic, NLP and time-line techniques.  As a result we were able to change this emotional part of the cycle:  the “stained glass” window of worry that was obscuring her perception, by releasing the deep-rooted emotions and adjusting the old thought patterns that were fueling her worry.

5.  What if I really believe that the thoughts I have might come true in the future, is there anything I can do about that?

Both the positive and negative thoughts you create about possible future events are fictional.  The problem with negative thoughts and pictures you create, in your mind, is that even though they possibly will never happen, the unconscious mind nevertheless accepts them as if they are true.  And you react with fear in the present moment to something that hasn’t even happened.

In just the same way, when you create positive thoughts, the unconscious mind also accepts them as true, creating a reaction that opens you to the positive possibilities.

Positive and negative thoughts both spring from the same place: your imagination.  They are simply stories.  You have the power of your own mind. So as long as you make up stories, you might as well choose ones that can serve you in a positive way.

6. What’s your best piece of advice for parents of children with special needs?
Parents of special needs children have many stressors that never even enter the minds of other parents.  In fact, many times it is the parent that suffers more than the child, as they struggle to reconcile their dreams for their child with the struggles of everyday life.  Amazingly, children have a way of taking even the most difficult, frustrating situations in stride. The best thing you can do for your child is what you are already doing, being proud of each accomplishment, celebrating what is unique about your child, and continuing to find and celebrate each wonderful gift.

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The “stress reaction” probably started as far back as in cave man days.  Yet it is the one of the most misunderstood statements that people use.

Most people associate it with aggravation, anxiety and dis-tress. Yet the stress reaction has a positive purpose.   When working properly, it can protect you by mobilizing you for action.  But when the stress reaction seems to come out of the blue,  or no stressor can be seen, it can be the cause of fear and worry.  This fear then feeds the stress reaction as thoughts turn to possible negative reasons for the bodily reactions.    At times  thoughts move  so quickly through the mind, that a person might not even be aware of them.  None the less  the fearful thoughts add to the stress reaction, as the body releases  more chemicals  to  get the body ready to fight or flee.  The thoughts and the chemicals rushing through the body play havoc on the mind and body.

The first key to getting a handle on the stress reaction is to grasp that it is not actually just the outside event that creates  stress.  It is the way we filter or think about what is going on outside of us, that determines the severity of stress.  The good news is that no matter the event, you can learn to have control over your reactions.

There are many ways to do this.  The one I use the most is the Transformation System.  I believe it works so well because it uses a three prong approach, which combines cognitive and behavioral stress relief techniques with Neuro-Linguistic Programming and two types of Hypnosis (Ericksonian and Classical).  Using the Techniques and exercises in the Transformation System gives you a way to change reactions to stressors in your life.

When you learn to use the Transformation System it feels as if your mind and body are on an automatic inner guidance system creating calm, balance and mobilizing energy.  A bonus of using your mind in this new way is that when you are in a state of balance it is easier to make decisions, because fear and anxiety no longer weigh you down.

For information on this profound method of change  click here to send your name and email for more information on the new home study course using the Transformaton System.  You too can learn the step by step method for inner peace and balance.

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10 ESSENTIAL REMINDERS TO REDUCE STRESS

1. Inner peace is possible, even in the midst of a stressful event.

2. Stress originates in the way you think about things and what you say to yourself.

3. The experience of stress is the result of thought.

4.  It is your mind you can use it to your benefit.

5.  You can reprogram thoughts so they are enhancing and inspiring.

6.  Use the anchoring technique to create a state of excellence with the resources you already have.

7.  When you start to tap into your inner creative potential, you will feel uplifted and empowered.

8.   Even when you can’t change the situation, you can change the way you think about it.

9.   Stress is not something that happens to you, but rather something that develops because of the thoughts you have.

10. To begin to reprogram negative thinking.  Stop for a moment, and create two possible positive thoughts for each negative one.

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HOW TO CHOOSE A THERAPIST

There are many therapists and many specialties. So many in fact, that it might seem a daunting task to choose one.  To make this important task easier, follow these simple steps.

1.  Seek a person who specializes in the issue you are dealing with.   If you have anxiety, panic attacks,  have a fear of flying, speaking in public or of going over a bridge and driving, you want to find a therapist  who specializes in the treatment of Anxiety Attacks and Phobias.

2.  There are many different techniques and types of therapy available.   Ask the therapist questions about which ones they feel most comfortable using.  These are some of the therapies you can start asking about. Cognitive/Behavioral techniques, which are useful for beginning to change patterns using a change in the way you process information and creating new behaviors.  Some therapist still use talk therapy, this is helpful to gain insight but the drawback is that it can take many, many years to get results. Some therapists use Classical Hypnosis, which is great for relaxation.  Others use Ericksonian hypnosis and NLP, which speeds up the therapeutic process by getting to the root of whatever challenge you are facing. I believe a combination approach such as the Transformation System enables the therapist to use the best techniques from each modality. You have the right to know what issues the therapist specializes in as well as the techniques they use.

3.  Ask for an idea of how long it will take for you to start to feel a change. And how the sessions are set up.  For example I start my clients with weekly sessions, then at the 4th session we move to every other week and then as symptoms are changing we move to monthly, then every 3 months and then as needed.

It is important to have a rough indication of how long it will take for you to notice results.  I do not believe that any therapist can tell you exactly how many sessions it will take to reach goals.   Since most of my referrals are through “word of mouth”  I explain that we work as quickly as possilbe to get results.  The unconscious part of the mind can create major changes for you in an instant, once the root of the problem is cleared.

In general most of my clients tell me that they feel new hope within their first session, and that they start to experience a change within the first 4 sessions. Many get total relief of symptoms within 10 sessions.  Although for some it may take more sessions to reach the goals. As a person feels better the sessions are spaced further and further apart, so the unconscious has time to continue the changes between sessions.

4.  What should you expect before setting the appointment?

Talk to the therapist on the phone before you set your first appointment. You’ll know when you have found someone you will feel comfortable talking with when the therapist patiently explains their system to you, and you feel respected from the first phone call.  Remember,  sometimes therapist get very busy seeing clients, so be patient and call at different times of the day to reach them in person.

Your have a right to  be told what to expect, in a way that you can understand.  If it seems the therapist is caught up in big words and fancy sounding systems ask for explanations. A good therapist will offer at least a 10 minute free telephone consultation.  During this conversation both you and the therapist will get an idea if there is a match, in what you desire and what they can provide.  It is appropriate to ask for any information about the system the therapist uses.  Most importantly you want to feel comfortable talking to the therapist, and they should be patient and friendly. Trust your instincts,  this is important you cannot get better by talking to someone who intimidates you.  But, it is also important to remember that a good therapist is usually a busy one, and may not be able to talk for long periods of time.

5.  I have heard about TeleSeminars, what is that?

A TeleSeminar is a presentation or a workshop.  It can be accessed by getting a link for a number to call by phone, or a link for an internet connection.  The beauty of teleseminars is if you call into the live call, you can ask questions an interact directly with the presenter..  Another benefit of a teleseminar is that the cost is usually a lot lower, because the presenter serves as a coach, rather than a therapist.    Many time a presenter will supply a link for a replay of the call, so you can listen to the replay as many times as you  desire.

I have found that people like our monthly Question & Answer TeleSeminar.  During this 45 minute call people can get a sense of what techniques are available and get questions answered.    To become a member and get the link to the next free TeleSeminar, go to the contact me tab on the right of this page. Click on the “contact me” tab and it will send you to  my personal email.  Once there just put in your email address,  first name and one or two questions.  You will then get the  link to the information about the next call.

6.  Once you find a therapist or coach with whom you are comfortable, schedule an appointment.  I hope you call and schedule with us at the Anxiety Control Center for therapy, hypnosis, coaching or to gain tools for moving past challenges.   By setting an appointment you are making the decision to continue your education, to learn more about using the wonderful asset of your own mind.  There are many therapists out there who can help you.  Don’t suffer with panic attacks, worry, procrastination, anxiety, migraines or IBS for one more minute!  Pick up the phone and call!  Signing off for now Audrey Sussman, director Anxiety Control Center.

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Creating Powerful Attitudes

Remember those times when you were confident, calm, energetic or motivated? You can learn to tap into the positive resources you have within you and gain a wonderful ability to control how you feel at any time. Although there are certain circumstances you can’t control, you can do something to change the way you feel. Doing these techniques will put you back in control of your own thoughts. They enable you to do something about what you are feeling.
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Skills for Powerful Attitudes

22. “No Blam-er” - This will enable you to leave the hopeless state. You will take responsibility and create what you want. Now the weight is off your shoulders and you are back in control.

23. “Facts From Fiction” – The first step is knowing that we truly can’t read another person’s mind. Learning to differentiate the facts of a situation from the negative stories we make up will get you on the road to taking control. It’s our brain and we can create and stories we want. I would rather make up positive ones that keep me happy and relaxed than negative ones that cause me to be upset. It is much easier to deal with people who are in a happy mood. This is a great technique for enhancing relationships. People will want to be around you!

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“Using these techniques, I was able to improve my golf performance. I found I was able to intergrate my golf lessons more quickly using relaxation techniques as well as visualization of how I want to see the shot. Since learning these techniques, my handicap has dropped ten strokes.” LM

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