Anxiety Control Center

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Unhappy With Your Life? It Could Be Negative Mantras.

Dr. Audrey talks about Negative Mantras

Have you ever doubted yourself or been hesitant to speak out when others have ideas in conflict with yours? Have you ever procrastinated because you were afraid you just couldn’t do something perfect enough?  Have you ever wondered why people who are less talented, attractive or intelligent than you are seem to feel so much better about themselves than you do?

Many intelligent, creative and successful people harbor inner self doubt that would amaze anyone looking in from the outside. As a therapist, I see the pain that is caused when people beat themselves up mentally with negative self-talk. Some of the people who come to see me are already aware of the harmful messages they give themselves.  But others send themselves these messages unconsciously, replaying them over and over without even being aware of them. I call these harmful messages “negative mantras”.

For a long time, eastern religions have known the power of mantras. These are powerful phrases, repeated over and over, in order to bring about a positive spiritual change. And though you might not have such a fancy name for it, the chances are that you probably use mantras everyday.  Quite simply, mantras are the things we tell ourselves.  A mantra could be what you say to yourself to get psyched up for a big meeting.  Or what you tell yourself to stay positive when life is getting you down. When mantras are positive and constructive, they can help us enjoy our lives and achieve our goals.  But the negative things we tell ourselves can also act as mantras, and can have a profound effect on our lives.

Negatives mantras can cause you to feel responsibility and guilt for things that are not your fault, hamper your ability to get along in relationships, or cause you to doubt your own talents or abilities. These feelings can lead to over-eating, anxiety, procrastination, addiction and depression.  Negative mantras can keep you from achieving your goals and take the joy out of the things you love.

So what can you do if negative mantras are interfering in your life? Read the rest of this entry »

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Sorry for the delay in this post. Some family issues came up.  Luckily my family members are familiar with many of  the stress relief exercises I teach and they told me how much it helped to have them ready to  use in their “stress relief tool box.”  Happily things are fine with my family now.

There are many ways to reduce stress.  In the  following exercise we will be changing negative  thoughts and images to change the anxiety/stress  cycle.    By making changes using the conscious part of your mind,  you can begin to re-program your reactions.   The beauty of this exercise is that it can help change old patterns of thinking, without your having to do deep change work on the unconscious level.  The down part is that it does take work to change a habit on the conscious level, but you will find it is well worth your time.

The exercise I am describing today stops the stress cycle at the cognitive level  by changing scary  “thoughts”  into equally possible images that will serve to create calm instead of fear.  There are other exercises to release anxiety at the physical and emotional part of the stress cycle which use hypnotic techniques to get to unconscious information at the root of the problem.

It is important to understand that your own thoughts create physical reactions.  Even a quick thought can generate a physical reaction in the body.  For example, when you  imagine biting into a lemon your body creates a puckering in your mouth as you “taste” the lemon.  Your thoughts touch off and trigger a physical reaction.  Although there wasn’t a “real” lemon, the reaction was the same “as if” there was.  If one never had tasted a lemon, there would be no reaction..

Thinking about someone you love will create a very different reaction or vibration in the body than thinking of a situation that caused upset.    What you think has an impact on the “vibrations” that go through your  body.

Therefore the way you use your mind can lead to positive vibrations, which lead to feelings of happiness, joy and contentment.   Or to uncomfortable vibrations which lead to feelings of anger, upset, hurt or anxiety.

Use this exercise to change thought patterns.  Whenever an old unwanted thought pops up,  change it to a more positive image and then  “steps into” the new desired image, as if it were real.  You are already good at this if you have created anxiety using your thoughts, we are just using your thoughts in a way that will work better for your health and well begin.    The more you use this technique (by stepping into the positive image)  the more power the image will feel.

Using your imagination to “be in the positive future image” works in a number of ways.  It not only changes the negative image – it also actually begins to creates a new “memory.”  The mind stores the new image, as if it had already happened.  For this type of technique to be effective, the new positive image needs to be just as strong as the old “scary” image.  There are  hypnotic ways of creating powerful images that you can also learn,  they will be more powerful and work more quickly than just using the conscious part of your mind,  but this is a good place to start.

In my next post I will give a detailed worksheet for using this method of changing negative thought to positive ones.  It is called the “2 for 1 Exercise” because you will need to create 2 positive thoughts for each negative you.

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HOW TO CHOOSE A THERAPIST

There are many therapists and many specialties. So many in fact, that it might seem a daunting task to choose one.  To make this important task easier, follow these simple steps.

1.  Seek a person who specializes in the issue you are dealing with.   If you have anxiety, panic attacks,  have a fear of flying, speaking in public or of going over a bridge and driving, you want to find a therapist  who specializes in the treatment of Anxiety Attacks and Phobias.

2.  There are many different techniques and types of therapy available.   Ask the therapist questions about which ones they feel most comfortable using.  These are some of the therapies you can start asking about. Cognitive/Behavioral techniques, which are useful for beginning to change patterns using a change in the way you process information and creating new behaviors.  Some therapist still use talk therapy, this is helpful to gain insight but the drawback is that it can take many, many years to get results. Some therapists use Classical Hypnosis, which is great for relaxation.  Others use Ericksonian hypnosis and NLP, which speeds up the therapeutic process by getting to the root of whatever challenge you are facing. I believe a combination approach such as the Transformation System enables the therapist to use the best techniques from each modality. You have the right to know what issues the therapist specializes in as well as the techniques they use.

3.  Ask for an idea of how long it will take for you to start to feel a change. And how the sessions are set up.  For example I start my clients with weekly sessions, then at the 4th session we move to every other week and then as symptoms are changing we move to monthly, then every 3 months and then as needed.

It is important to have a rough indication of how long it will take for you to notice results.  I do not believe that any therapist can tell you exactly how many sessions it will take to reach goals.   Since most of my referrals are through “word of mouth”  I explain that we work as quickly as possilbe to get results.  The unconscious part of the mind can create major changes for you in an instant, once the root of the problem is cleared.

In general most of my clients tell me that they feel new hope within their first session, and that they start to experience a change within the first 4 sessions. Many get total relief of symptoms within 10 sessions.  Although for some it may take more sessions to reach the goals. As a person feels better the sessions are spaced further and further apart, so the unconscious has time to continue the changes between sessions.

4.  What should you expect before setting the appointment?

Talk to the therapist on the phone before you set your first appointment. You’ll know when you have found someone you will feel comfortable talking with when the therapist patiently explains their system to you, and you feel respected from the first phone call.  Remember,  sometimes therapist get very busy seeing clients, so be patient and call at different times of the day to reach them in person.

Your have a right to  be told what to expect, in a way that you can understand.  If it seems the therapist is caught up in big words and fancy sounding systems ask for explanations. A good therapist will offer at least a 10 minute free telephone consultation.  During this conversation both you and the therapist will get an idea if there is a match, in what you desire and what they can provide.  It is appropriate to ask for any information about the system the therapist uses.  Most importantly you want to feel comfortable talking to the therapist, and they should be patient and friendly. Trust your instincts,  this is important you cannot get better by talking to someone who intimidates you.  But, it is also important to remember that a good therapist is usually a busy one, and may not be able to talk for long periods of time.

5.  I have heard about TeleSeminars, what is that?

A TeleSeminar is a presentation or a workshop.  It can be accessed by getting a link for a number to call by phone, or a link for an internet connection.  The beauty of teleseminars is if you call into the live call, you can ask questions an interact directly with the presenter..  Another benefit of a teleseminar is that the cost is usually a lot lower, because the presenter serves as a coach, rather than a therapist.    Many time a presenter will supply a link for a replay of the call, so you can listen to the replay as many times as you  desire.

I have found that people like our monthly Question & Answer TeleSeminar.  During this 45 minute call people can get a sense of what techniques are available and get questions answered.    To become a member and get the link to the next free TeleSeminar, go to the contact me tab on the right of this page. Click on the “contact me” tab and it will send you to  my personal email.  Once there just put in your email address,  first name and one or two questions.  You will then get the  link to the information about the next call.

6.  Once you find a therapist or coach with whom you are comfortable, schedule an appointment.  I hope you call and schedule with us at the Anxiety Control Center for therapy, hypnosis, coaching or to gain tools for moving past challenges.   By setting an appointment you are making the decision to continue your education, to learn more about using the wonderful asset of your own mind.  There are many therapists out there who can help you.  Don’t suffer with panic attacks, worry, procrastination, anxiety, migraines or IBS for one more minute!  Pick up the phone and call!  Signing off for now Audrey Sussman, director Anxiety Control Center.

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