Anxiety Control Center

My dad just gave me a note that he had been carrying around with him for the past 2 years.  I had sent him the  note  when he was grieving the loss of his wife of 32 years. I am reprinting it her in hopes that it can help others who are grieving, as it helped my dad.  I have removed the very personal parts and just left the information I sent him about how to change feelings  by  creating pictures and  thoughts that create pleasant scenes rather than ones of pain and sadness.

USING THE MIND-BODY CONNECTION TO GAIN CONTROL OVER EMOTIONS

Dad read this, I hope it might help in some way, with you pain and loneliness you are feeling.  Dad, in this very sad time I realize how hard it is to believe you will ever feel happy again.  And grief is normal and expected when you lose someone you love.  But, as the months have passed  I listen to you, and as you describe the pictures you are remembering they are about feeling hopeless because of the pain and suffering you keep seeing your wonderful wife going through.   I see how these “pictures”  affects you as you relive those traumatic memories.   Yet, I also hear you talking  about many wonderful times you had together before her illness, but almost as soon as you have those thoughts the pictures of pain and sadness, overtake you again.   I am sending you some thoughts that come from the book I wrote called, Power of Thought.   I know what a positive person you have been your whole life.  Always finding the “silver lining” no matter how hard the situation, and I hope as you read the words they will remind you of how to do this again.  Perhaps you will use you wonderful creativity to add to my thoughts on this and use your thoughts and memories in a way that creates sweet joy, instead of horror and pain.

Dad here is the excerpt, I’m not editing it too much.  First I want to say that it’s important to know that  emotions are brought on by the thoughts and pictures we create.  A thought is an image that you project.   It has force and energy and carries vibrations that move throughout the mind and body.  A vibration, as I am using the word  is an energy wave or feeling that comes from the mind of the thinker.  Vibrations that come from thoughts have an impact on the mind and body.  Thoughts and the vibrations attached to them, function like a magnet that attracts similar thoughts. So when you have painful thoughts they attract more memories of pain and sadness. And,  you can change your thoughts to ones that create peaceful feelings, and they will attract other memories and feelings of peace and balance.

Even if the images that are created  are not on the conscious level, they still vibrate within your system.  The more emotion a thought holds, the more impact the “thought, picture or vibration” will have.

No matter what is going on in life, people can learn to be in command of the thoughts they create.  Even when there are stressors and events outside of your control, your thoughts can be developed in a way that has a positive impact, even changing  how you interpret  events.  Dad, I know that you have used this technique many times in the past, like the time you went to get the wig for your wife, after chemo, and you were so touched and happy about how caring the person who helped you was, you came back from that appointment feeling uplifted, even though the situation was still a difficult one. So you already understand that, no matter what events may have transpired  your mind can  create thoughts that enhance your well-being.  Your own mind, and the thoughts you create, can be the most powerful resource for you when you use it in this enhancing way.  So continue to guide your thoughts with positive energy, putting a positive spin on even a “negative” event.

I haven’t sent you the previous chapters which have an introduction on how old events influence a person’s present outlook, because I know how you have used your mind in a positive way through out my growing up years. So, I’m not sending you the discussion on creating the deep change, by clearing out old limiting beliefs and repressed emotions.

I am reminding you that without even doing deep change work, to release those old sad memories and trauma of the past few years, you can make changes using your thoughts to re-program  the way your mind works, creating thoughts and pictures that work better that those of pain and loss. This is powerful way to reduce sadness, loneliness and stress.  So remember pictures and thoughts that lead to reactions can be changed on a conscious level (as you know we did some unconscious work to get rid of your headaches, and we can do some more NLP work if you want to change the mental images that are troubling you, but for now start being curious about new images you create.  For every negative one, create two that work better.   I know it is a “push” to do this when you are sad, yet it really can make a powerful difference in your emotional state.   I’ll talk to you more about this later.    Just wanted to have it in writing so you can refer to these notes when you want.

Remmeber your body is a complex living system,  every part affects every other part, including your emotions and you healing.  Your thoughts create physical reactions, such as the clenching in your stomach after a particularly traumatic memory.  Even a quick thought can generate a physical reaction in the body.  For example, just thinking about a fun vacation you had, remember the boat trip in the blue lagoon in Italy, I can see you smiling as you talk about it.   That memory created a reaction or vibration in your body, as if it were happening in the present.   What you think has an impact on the “vibrations” that are sent throughout your body.  So, the way a you think can lead to positive vibrations, which lead to feelings of happiness, joy and contentment.    So I leave you with this to think about, I know you have already created a path of positive memories, so this is just a gentle reminder in how to use your mind in this time a recovery.  With all my love. Audrey

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